when a girl refers to you as "friend" or "best friend" is it over?

[PA28R201]

First time poster, long time lurker. How's it going, guys? College student.

Just a question that has been puzzling me lately. This girl I recently met through a friend seems to be obsessed with me, platonic or not, I don't know. She definitely shows her affection, finding every opportunity to tell me that I'm great and that she loves me and that she's glad we're friends. We wouldn't talk for a couple days and she'd text me saying she misses me. One time she told me that we should be best friends because I'm that amazing. Basically she really likes me for some reason.

I was thinking she was into me before she started throwing the word FRIEND in there. Is this really the kiss of death as many of you claim to be? I'm just so confused, as a few days ago I asked her to hang out, she said she was out of town and texted me saying I was cute.

She says that she misses me and loves me so much that I've run out of things to say to her (let alone witty). Any suggestinos?

 

[SharinganUser]

What do you want from this girl?? A fling? an Fvck Buddy? a Relationship?

From what you posted I would just say don't put all your eggs in one basket. I think that if start seeing other women, she might not see you as a friend anymore. Then you can decide what you want to do with her, instead of the other way around.

 

[EFFORT]

escalate things with her and see what happens

 

[DrD77]

u probably were really nice to her at first or still are and you never escalated things so she friendzoned you.

 

[KontrollerX]

If she is all over you but uses the word friend perhaps she herself is just a female AFC and because of this mistakenly thinks becoming friends first is the way to a man's heart.

Find out for sure her intentions with this by getting her alone somewhere and then trying to kiss her.

If she denies you don't act angry, politely find a way to take your leave and if she asks you that garbage about if you are mad or any other chick tactic just respond that no you are not angry but you feel you should go. Basically deflect any question she says to you and find a way to make your exit. Don't let her try and control the situation by having you both go some place else.

She loses her opportunity to be in your life the second she denies your advances.

She loses this opportunity because you as an honest man do not want her as a friend.

You want to be fvcking her and you are not going to get in her pants while stuck in the friend role.

Well you could get in her pants if you played the AFC friend role and become one of her orbiter's and play on her emotions when she has a fight with her boyfriend but this makes you a bottom feeder lowly pathetic AFC and it is a process that could take months or years and is a waste of your time when you could be out gaming new chicks that are interested in you.

So yes if she denies you, you go cold no contact with her.

You don't break the no contact rule and the no meeting up or talking to her on the phone or in email rule for extended periods of time until she comes back to you and starts saying what you want to hear ie I've been thinking and would like to have you as my boyfriend now etc.

If she is not saying things like this and instead trying to manipulate you and box you again squarely into the friend role you are not listening.

 

[facadegeniality]

i've heard some girl talk before and it occurs to me that if the guy does the no contact method, the guy is deemed insincere and stuff.. that's not good for the guy's reputation esp in a place like school or workplace.

these girls want someone who is true and sincere. these girls seem to be the good girls. so how do we guys play the game without ruining reputation or some sort?

 

[KontrollerX]

You don't ruin your reputation by going no contact.

You are breaking the cardinal rule of believing what a woman says.

The chick who told you that crap has likely lost a lot of good men in her life by them going no contact on her ass.

She then probably got back with the guys as a result and then got dropped when a hotter more respectful piece of ass came along.

Now through bitterness at men through her own bad behavior she is trying to shame men's correct behavioral reaction to her bad behavior.

 

[IPalindromeI]

The 'friend' thing is only a kiss of death if she treats you like anything but that, or if you have been in a relationship for a while and 'friend' becomes paired with 'I need space/time' or worse yet 'we can still be friends, right?'.

What you have doesn't look like a kiss of death. What you have looks to me like a fairly insecure girl who is taking it a tad overboard because she wants to be sure she isn't pushing you away. Who knows though.

Want to know for sure? Ask her for an actual date. Not 'hanging out' - any girl who has read slop like HJNTIY reads that phrase as 'booty call' or 'not interested in an actual relationship'. So, make it clear - make a reservation at a nice restaurant on a weekend night a week or two from now, make a date, and tell her you have plans for the both of you on X date, and you won't accept anything less than 'yes' (tone is important here - you want to sound mock serious, almost joking but with a clear indication that you mean it).

If you are that clear about your intentions and you get a giggly 'no' or anything less than yes regardless of the tone, then its time to end the 'friendship' unless you really like hanging out with a girl who won't date you.

 

[noirsake]

If you think being called a friend is bad, imagine what it's like when your oneitis describes you as a brother...

Yes that was me. Haha. I laugh at it now.

 

[DonJuan11]

Listen to Kontroller, his logic is unreal.