"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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What's your generic template to getting the girl?

Accension

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I was thinking, we probably all have some sort of skeleton structure in place when it comes to women.

Last night, I was just thinking of my past relationships and noticed this structure:

First encounter
  • My mood was always very, very high.
  • I wouldn't aim to get her, but instead be in 'have fun with friends mode', which involves me doing ridiculous things for laughs and usually mock-hitting on the girl and saying things like "She SO wants me."
  • I'd always use A LOT of kino.
  • My friends would be flowing to the tune of my good mood.
  • I'd do a lot of playful stuff with the girl, yet still, only mock 'trying to get her'.
Second contact
  • I'd never have to really pursue the girl, she'd find a way to contact me, and if I did, it would go really well.
  • The girl would express obvious signs of interest to me, and I'd respond with flirting and a little escalation.
  • I wouldn't be overly concerned with 'trying to get her', opportunities would usually just present themselves.
You see boys, of all the relationships I've had, it's because of the attraction she gains after the first encounter.
These trends are based on a fair few relationships and you can see how being in the right frame of mind, it just happens.

I'm damn curious about your 'template'.
I'm so sick of philosophy, self-actualization BS threads -- just post your structure and we'll soon see what's what ;P.
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Iceberg

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I don't know about template. Different situations (clubs, house parties, office) call for different tactics. But I will tell you that any template that requires three separate encounters just to ask if she likes you is pretty bad.
 

Accension

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Iceberg said:
I don't know about template. Different situations (clubs, house parties, office) call for different tactics. But I will tell you that any template that requires three separate encounters just to ask if she likes you is pretty bad.
Came off completely different than what I meant :p.
This is just a sequence which has occured between all my good relationships.
It's not me aiming for anything, this is just how it's occured.

Observing the trends, I'm sure we can replicate the results (as is the case with my current GF).
Yes, the title of this thread is a bit confusing.
 

Bible_Belt

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#1 - Go where you are most capable and talented...and there are girls.

Whatever you are good at, place yourself in that environment where there are woman to notice your advantage over other people. I am good at school, so for me that is a classroom. If you can sing and dance, go be in a play, you get the idea. By comparison, I stink at night clubs...booze is more fun than girls for me. Don't take failure with girls personally if you are out of your element.


#2 - Notice the girl that likes you

There will always be one or two. But women are very subtle, and men are not very good at noticing what women think of as flirting. It might not be any more than eye contact and a smile. But that is an invitation to talk to her, and if she keeps talking and smiling, and doesn't start talking about her boyfriend, that means she likes you.


#3 - Make her wonder if you like her

This is where most guys go wrong. They see an opportunity, but mess it up by being too eager. A woman's interest can be lost very quickly. You have to use push-pull. Women want to wonder if you like them or not, like a girl picking petals off a flower and playing 'he loves me, he loves me not.' That is inherent to the female conception of falling in love.

For example, once while in this stage, I walked into a school lobby to see a girl I had just begun talking to sitting with her friends. I think she expected me to come suck up to her in typical one-dimensional AFC politeness. Instead, I asked her to come help me carry some heavy boxes from my car. I wasn't rude or mean at all, I just needed help carrying things. Months later, in bed after sex, she asked me out of the blue, "that day you made me carry stuff, did you do that because you liked me? Or did you just need help?" She had turned that over and over in her head for months.


#4 - Enjoy the fruits of your labor

Don't delay forever or it is all for naught. Tell her you will be doing something somewhere and she can come with you. I usually tell a girl that I want to eat at a certain restaurant because I have never been there. I don't mind buying a girl cheap Chinese food if it is something I want to do and she is just following me to get to be with me. The idea is to continue the push-pull right up until the first time you kiss her. By that time, she will be falling in love and throw herself at you with passionate sex on the first or second date.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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