"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What's Next?

GuitarOnFire7

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Btw, I'm 21 and the girl I'm interested in is probably 18 ~ 19. We're both in our first year of university.

I shook hands with a girl during the first week of university on Monday night. I said my name, shook her hand, and asked what her name was.

The next day or so, we were in the same group at university, and she saw me running around and generally being athletic. On Wednesday night, I saw her in the line-up for a concert. I asked her some questions, smiled a bit, and managed to get her smiling. (She seems to be very shy, as she will only speak to her friends most of the time.) She eventually asked me what day I'd be free (I said Friday, which she replied, "I'm completely free then.") I walked with her to the concert and her phone rang. It was her friends, who she had apparently arranged to be with at the concert before our conversation. I was thinking that the conversation was going so well between her friends and I (she didn't talk that much) that I forgot to ask for her number. I was only there for roughly twenty to forty minutes, and said I'd better get going. I left before the first band at the concert was finished. I shook her friends' hands out of habit, like a gentleman (it's the damned genetics) and left. The girl I like waved goodbye to me as I got up from the grass and I left. I didn't think of it at the time, because I didn't want to rush and look desperate. Also, keep in mind that this girl is off-campus on a campus of 20 - 30 thousand people.

Unfortunately, I didn't see her at all on Thursday or Friday night. When I went to the concert on Friday night, I saw one of her friends there and asked her where the girl was. She shrugged and said 'I dunno'. We talked briefly about the big party on Sunday and how amazing the people in the concerts were. I had performed in the concert, so I'm not sure if that shows some sort of merit of sorts... Anyways, I asked her whether her other friends would attend the party on Sunday, and I got another 'I don't know. I'll definitely be there!". Yes, I became a bit AFCish there because this happened at 11pm at night.

As a old member from years ago, I know a DJ shouldn't ask a girl's friend for the girl's number. That is so stalkerish. However, I am running out of ideas so I can encounter this girl and redeem my mistakes. Would it be wise to give this girl's friend my e-mail address to pass along to her friend tomorrow at the party? Would I lose any face doing that? If push comes to shove, and the girl I like isn't there, I might take the risk and ask for the girl I like's number.

What do you guys suggest?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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GuitarOnFire7

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There have been 20+ viewings of this post and zero replies. Doesn't anyone have any advice for a situation such as this one?
 

c-do

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a woman's point of view

As a woman, I would be flattered if my friend told me that someone I had met earlier asked her about me. Give her friend your contact information - I don't think that's "stalkerish" at all. What else are you supposed to do? But don't ask her friend for her number, I wouldn't give it to you if it were my friend just because I wouldn't want her to get mad at me. But you giving the info via a friend is okay. Keep in mind too that this friend may be c*ckblocking and trying to put her moves on you herself. Go through the friend but keep looking out for her.
 

GuitarOnFire7

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Okay. Thanks for the advice. Does a male DJ have any ideas on how to proceed?

I found out where the party tomorrow is at. It's at a place downtown that has a capacity of 1000 people! While I doubt a 1000 people will attend, it will be interesting to see. :)
 
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