"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

what you do when they say......

justjosh47

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
77
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Charlottesville,Virginia,USA
Yea I met a girl a while back on a train to school, she was from Virginia as am I and we both go to school in WV, well I started talking to here and I did not think anything of it but the train was delayed by like five hours so A train ride that took five hours ended up taking about nine, so I started to really get to know this girl and she really seemed to be chill, it kept getting better and better and we just clicked, well she got off at her school and she broke down and asked me for my number.

So iv been talking to here a lot lately and Iv learned a lot about her and finally last weekend I took a trip to visit her, well it did not turn out the way I planned and I ended up only getting to see her for about an hour, well she came out of her dorm and I was speechless, she was beautiful and ten times hotter then I remember, well she noticed I was not talking but I sed I just though we were going to hang out later which never happened.

So today the sh*** hit the fan when we were talking and I asked her when she was going to see me and she told me that her boyfriend was picking her up and she was taking the train back......oka hold up she just sed her boy friend? when did this happen? she told me she thought she told me and that its not like I care right? so I sed I don't care Iv been trying to chill with you all semester and even came up, she was speechless and told that if she had known we would be going out instead of her new boyfriend. So....what do I do now, IM really into this girl and I have not messed it up completely yet, what is my next step?

DJ in training -Josh White
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

fukuy

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2004
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
next her man. There's nothing ya can do to change her mind taking into account that she already got a boyfriend. Now if you just wanna sleep with her, that's a whole diff story:)
 

LuvMyArmyMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 22, 2004
Messages
504
Reaction score
0
Age
41
Location
Chico, CA during school, and Irivine off-school
I think this comes across as the classic "woman as temptress" fallacy that our culture places so much emphasis on.

Just becuase she is interested in you does not mean she wants anything more than friendship. Not all women that talk to you and ask for your number want to sleep with you or go out with you.

You may feel like she was leading you on. Well this is just society telling you that she did. Her intentions may not have been what you assumed, and you are angry that they aren't. To her, her actions may have seemed friendly, but to you, something more.

They way you find out is to flat-out ask her yourself. "What were your intentions when you asked for my number?" If she replies friendship, is that so bad to have a female friend that you were once interested in? If she replies that she liked you/wanted a hook-up, it proves that she is a cheater, and you wouldnt want to be with that kind of girl in the first place.
 

Crank_It_Up

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
546
Reaction score
1
Originally posted by justjosh47
... so I sed I don't care Iv been trying to chill with you all semester and even came up, she was speechless and told that if she had known we would be going out instead of her new boyfriend...
sounds like you waited too long.... lesson learned, if you want it, go for it... you snooze, you lose.
 

obijuan

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2004
Messages
42
Reaction score
0
Just a shot in the dark here but oh well:

She could have percieved your timidity as a challenge and is using the boyfriend bluff to bait you into making a move and tipping your hand.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top