"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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What would the pro DJ's have done?

timitsoo

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Hello, I'm new to this board and hardly a dj yet. Just got divorced a year ago and am now trying to get back in the game, but this time not be such a "wait till it happens" kind of guy.

So, today I was in Einstein's Bagel shop and every time I'd be looking at this cutie working the cash register, she'd look right back. Major eye contact on both our parts. I get up to her to pay and she says her little hello and smile and then I fumble the ball completely and don't do ANYTHING to let her know i'm attracted to her. So, quite simply, what should I have done and what would some of the real DJ's done. I left that place feeling like a 35 year old idiot. Once I get some good advice, I'll go back in a few days and try something out.

Thanks in advance.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Big Pappy

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First, you need to realize that when dealing with service personnel, recognize that they are told to smile, they are told to be nice. It will take a bit of effort on her part to convey to a customer that she has interest.

Looking at you: "Gee, when's this guy going to hurry up and place his order. I have to piss like a racehorse and these customers keep coming in!"

Or it could be : "He's cute! Why's he so shy?....

You were the only one who was there; we can't really say what that look means. It will take you just a bit of practive to figure those things out. In the meantime, rejection is better than regret - go talk to her! (Any of them)
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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First and foremost, don't wait a few days!!! WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF A GIRL???!!! Go in there tomorrow and say to her as you're about to leave "Hey,I have had a question that I've been meaning to ask but my minds been so preoccupied, what is your name?" When she tells you just say "Thanks -------, see you tomorrow..." and walk out.

The next day walk in as if you didn't care who owned the place and with a big smile call out to her "Good morning -----". Yeah, make it look as if you've known her forever, it'll make both her and YOU more at ease.

When it's your turn to order, chit chat. "I'll just have my usual, a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese and a large coffee...(or whatever)" You're giving her things to become more familiar with you when you come in the next day. Until then, keep chit chatting as she rings you up, "So how's your week been so far? Me, just putting out fires, nothing I can't handle. (*wink*) Thanks, see you tomorrow..." Get the idea?

The next day, do the same thing, greet her and ask for your usual. She'll say hello and gladly put your order together because you're old buds. ;) More chit chat and tell her that you'll see her later.

The next morning, don't show up. Instead, stop by after work (hopefully she's there). She will probably say that she missed you that morning (at least she will if she has any interest). Just tell her that you had to take care of a couple of urgent fires. If she asks what kind, tell her that you'll have to tell her some time when she has a couple of free moments. Then ask when will she take a break. If it's soon tell her that you'll treat her to a cup of coffee. She'll probably say that she gets it for free, retort with a c/f line like "It doesn't matter, I'll still treat 'ya! (*wink*)"

If per chance she doesn't have a break coming up, tell her that you'll treat her after work some time to a bagel at the her shop's competitor. Either way, you have a few chances to be c/f.

In a nutshell, gain rapport and familiarity with her. Let her see that you are outgoing, friendly and can handle things well, plus you have some interest in her. ;)
 

Gipper

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Congrats on wanting to "get back in the game". You've come to the right place to learn the basics.

First off, you should be approaching as many women as possible during your daily life. Don't fixate on this one girl, although she is an excellent starting point.

First, the bad news: you will get rejected at least as many times as you succeed.

The good news: It shouldn't matter, and you will never succeed once unless you dive in and make an attempt.

I have crashed and burned many times, but that's the only way you develop any proficiency at approaching women. Take a deep breath, be yourself, and go for it. You will most likely suck at first, but keep at it; you will improve with practice.

Don't worry about this particular girl, right now. Use her for practice, and look for other opportunities.

Gipper
 

disciple

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You want to be careful with girls working in stores because they often smile and flirt with guys they have no interest in dealing with.

On the other hand, they are human too and sometimes you might get one that really may have interest.

Just build up your inner game (inner mindset and attitude of a true player) and let that shine and if you think is showing signs of interest go talk to her and realize you have nothing to fear because if she really likes you then she wants you to come talk to her. If she doesn't, who cares anyway?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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