What was that!

[ScottieDosntKnow]

Alright so I got with this girl over summer but she had a bf. Things have got really deep emotionally but there never was anything physical. It’s been about three, four months now and she hasn’t broke up with him. Last month we put about 50, 60 hours on the phone...yet she never breaks up with her bf. Im seriously falling for this one, but she wont leave her bf who shes not that happy w/ anyway. She tells me things are ok with him but I hear from her friends that she talks about problems with him all the time. What im trying to figure out is what has been happening lately. She all of a sudden has stopped talking to me on the phone, ignores me randomly, and treats me completely different when other people are around. It’s just strange considering how close we were not that long ago. There was no fight...nothing it just happened. The strangest thing is we were talking online and I brought up this other girl and she just like lost it and wouldn’t talk to me....which is weird since she is not the kind to do that and never has about anything. Big things your average girl would have gotten mad about she never has....but something dumb like that and she flips? The other thing is she won’t tell me that she likes me or anything, she says she "never thinks about it" but im pretty sure she’s lying, as she only will say that online or phone, never in person. When her friends ask her she never denies it, but won’t ever say it flat out either. She will just sorta avoid eye contact and change subject when I ask her.
What im trying to figure out is how this girl turned on a dime like this and what it means. You guys have a lot of combined experience and I hope you can help me out.

 

[Wee]

Give her some space. Either she got mad about the girl and is excersizing her control by making you come to her, or you smothered her with attention and she grew sick of you. Either way let her come to you now and don't crack before she does.

 

[The Master Disaster]

your her butch

 

[oakraiderz2]

Stop being her emotional tampon. STP TALKING TO HER! Shes not gonna break up with her bf no matter what she says. Find other girls, and get some play or whatever and leave this girl ALONE! No need for you to be such a punk b!tch, talking to her 50 DAMN HRS IN A WEEK? Thats about how much i sleep, maybe a little less, but damn, stop. Get some respect for yourself. Read the bible and grow some balls.

 

[DJ4Real]

What's up EuroTrip "Scottie doesn't know", lol. Anyways, this girl doesn't like you like that. Sure, she likes you as her " best guy-friend girl-friend" but she isn't attracted to you. You are seriously going to have to give her some space and stop being her emotional sponge. If you notice a pattern, she complains about her bf and then vents to you, and then she goes back to him, and then he makes her angry again, she vents her problems out to you, and the she goes back to him...You're an emotional sponge for her. Normally, women only vent to other women about her problems, that is, until she can find a really "nice" guy like you to vent to. Be less available, talk to women, be ****y funny, thrilling, and charming, and I can guarantee that this girl will become more and more attracted to you.

Good Luck

 

[ScottieDosntKnow]

Alright

sorry that was 50 hours a month..not that thats much better tho lol. Anyway thats what i did...when all that talk was happening i just stopped and did what you guys said and it seemed to work. But this started happening and her BF keeps getting more and more insecure as well. As for being her emotional sponge...although its true, most of the time we talk has nothing to even do w/ him or me. Its just like talk about all sorts of things not emotional drivel, which makes it strange as with most girls i find that conversations only last that long with them when it is stuff like that.

 

[DJ4Real]

Long conversations should only be done on 'special occasions' maybe once every 1 month to 2 months (mix it up, so it doesn't become a routine). Other wise 5-10 minutes for a brief convo and a extended brief convo should be 15-25 minutes (1-3 times within' that 1 month to 2 month period). Extensions need to be used very sparingly. On average, within that 2 months you should be calling her on a ratio of 1 every 3 calls(if she's not shy). Think of it like this, if a girl likes you, she'll want to talk to you, and she'll call you more than you call her (if she's not too shy, she'll call). But if she is shy, you'll be doing 2/3 rds of the calls to her until she's not too shy. But, it's your job to be moderate of how often you speak. If you want to be technical. I'll do the average out for you. There are 4 weeks in a month, say you want to do 2 extended briefs and the rest quick convos. (You should be talking max 2 times a week), here you go: Week 1 10+10=20 minutes Week 2 10+5=15 Week 3 25=25 Week 4 17=17 minutes. You should be talking about 1 hour 17 minutes maybe a bit longer per month.. remember that 'special occasion' long chats? It should be maybe (1 hour-1.5 hours) maybe after the 7 th week of that 2 month period. See, I got no where close to 50 hours for one month. It's all in how you want to layout your phone convo times...just mix them up.

Good Luck

 

[Kidd]

This girl doesent want you. Back off dude.

 

[ScottieDosntKnow]

Well i see this girl everyday at school...classes and everything. I cant completely ignore her, that wont work. I think im gonna back off but no way im cutting myself completely off. Im not willing to give this up, at least not yet.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by ScottieDosntKnow
Well i see this girl everyday at school...classes and everything. I cant completely ignore her, that wont work. I think im gonna back off but no way im cutting myself completely off. Im not willing to give this up, at least not yet.

Denial aint just a river in africa. Honestly, STOP TALKING TO HER! Shes not going to break up with him for you. If you insist on talking to her AT LEAST FIND OTHER GIRLS. By the time your completely over her youll have your own pool to splash in and wont really pay much attention to her. What do you think is gonna happen? Shes gonna miraculously become attracted to you and wanna hook up? Look at the situation, dont worry about her, change yourself instead. If you want help pm me and we'll talk.

 

[Wee]

Originally posted by ScottieDosntKnow
Well i see this girl everyday at school...classes and everything. I cant completely ignore her, that wont work. I think im gonna back off but no way im cutting myself completely off. Im not willing to give this up, at least not yet.

Cutting off contact completely for a while isn't giving up. Hell it would probably be the most useful strategy to get her right now. Grow some nuts and quit letting this girl run your life.

 

[ScottieDosntKnow]

Alrighty....well see how this goes.