"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What to do?!!

andreus

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OK, I've been dating this girl for a few months now, and I think she is obsessed. She writes me letters all the time and seems sort of insecure in the relationship (even though she is pretty, smart, etc.). I made the biiiig mistake of telling her I love her. I mean, I sort of was "excited" when I said it, so I thought I meant it, but now I realize that I really don't. But, I can't really back-track, as its taken me a month and a half to realize that that is not how I feel. However, I am afraid to hurt her feelings as it seems like everything else has been sort of falling apart and changing around her. She told me that she hopes things never change and all of that jazz, I don't know what to do!

Thanks in advance!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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You have to do it sometime or else you'll be with her for the rest of your life... better sooner than later because she'll have more time to recover.
Tell her you can still be friends and give her a hug...

Then split :p
 

wjh

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So, what do you want? You want her out of your life completely?

If you don't want anything to do with her, simply man up and tell her that you don't want her in your life anymore. She'll get hurt but it's better to do that than to be immature and prolong the inevitable, i.e., leading her on.

If you want something out of her, put up with the fact that she really digs you. Embrace the fact that she's totally into you.
 

The Eurasian

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Try going completely AFC on her untill she gets bored of you. No hurt feelings.
 

andreus

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Well, I really like going out with her, so I don't really want to break it off. I just think that I've set some pretty high emotional expectations in her head, and I don't want her to be deceived.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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