As my nickname suggests the rap on me is that I am probably too nice to women and they lose romantic interest in me. Women say they want a nice guy but...I don't need to tell experienced DJ's on this forum what they (at least many) really want. Despite my "niceness" I recently ended a very serious and committed relationship with a woman that lasted over 5 years. Long story on why we didn't marry but it was for the best.
So here is my new problem. Have known a girl as a friend/aquaintence for the last few years and she knew I had this girlfriend so it made our relationship strickly small talk and safe talk etc... We have mutual friends that have dropped hints as to the fact that we should now "hook up" for a lack of a better term. I think she has some interest in me now that I am free, but it is hard to guage the level at this point. I have some interest in her, but it feels like I'm walking through a mine field after 5 years out of the dating game. Invited her to a party a friend of mine hosted, we talked and hung out, she hugged me goodbye. She works at a bar/restuarant and I went by and asked her if I could take her out for a drink after work. We did, but others from her work had already planned going out drinking together but I did manage to talk with her alone at a table for 20 minutes or so till we moved to another location...long story. End of the night, asked for her number, got the cell number (doc love would kill me) and gave her my number (nice hug again). Anyway, my question to all DJ's on the forum here is should I go out on a few more of these casual type "just drinks and hanging out" dates to raise her interest and be more of a challenge first, or should I "close the deal" and ask her out on a "real" date very soon so that she doesn't see me as just a friend and lose interest. This is what is crazy. If I ask her out on a date too soon some would say I look desperate and needy (turnoff). Others would say the longer you wait the more she thinks you don't have the confidence/courage to ask her out and that will be a turnoff. The main question is how long will she give me to make a real move. 2-3 weeks... a month??? We both are really busy with work and other things so I might be able to buy some time but I don't want to fall into the LJBF by waiting, but I don't want to look like I have no other options. Worse comes to worse I could handle just being friends because we pretty much already are but I really like her mainly because....she is...NICE...LOL!!! I have read some of the DJ bible but much like the real bible you can't possibly read it in a matter of days. Just need to know how most of you DJ's would play this hand. Thanks, this forum looks like a great resource for aspiring DJ's.
So here is my new problem. Have known a girl as a friend/aquaintence for the last few years and she knew I had this girlfriend so it made our relationship strickly small talk and safe talk etc... We have mutual friends that have dropped hints as to the fact that we should now "hook up" for a lack of a better term. I think she has some interest in me now that I am free, but it is hard to guage the level at this point. I have some interest in her, but it feels like I'm walking through a mine field after 5 years out of the dating game. Invited her to a party a friend of mine hosted, we talked and hung out, she hugged me goodbye. She works at a bar/restuarant and I went by and asked her if I could take her out for a drink after work. We did, but others from her work had already planned going out drinking together but I did manage to talk with her alone at a table for 20 minutes or so till we moved to another location...long story. End of the night, asked for her number, got the cell number (doc love would kill me) and gave her my number (nice hug again). Anyway, my question to all DJ's on the forum here is should I go out on a few more of these casual type "just drinks and hanging out" dates to raise her interest and be more of a challenge first, or should I "close the deal" and ask her out on a "real" date very soon so that she doesn't see me as just a friend and lose interest. This is what is crazy. If I ask her out on a date too soon some would say I look desperate and needy (turnoff). Others would say the longer you wait the more she thinks you don't have the confidence/courage to ask her out and that will be a turnoff. The main question is how long will she give me to make a real move. 2-3 weeks... a month??? We both are really busy with work and other things so I might be able to buy some time but I don't want to fall into the LJBF by waiting, but I don't want to look like I have no other options. Worse comes to worse I could handle just being friends because we pretty much already are but I really like her mainly because....she is...NICE...LOL!!! I have read some of the DJ bible but much like the real bible you can't possibly read it in a matter of days. Just need to know how most of you DJ's would play this hand. Thanks, this forum looks like a great resource for aspiring DJ's.