What to do next with this girl?

[Scion]

Was out with this girl tonight. Not sure if I should even call it a date since she has a boyfriend (though she told me she's done with him). Was a good time, we went out and had a few drinks (we were together for a couple of hours). I had her laughing most of the time and figure she had a good time. I'm not sure when I'll go out with her again since she said that she probably won't be going out for a while due to the stuff with her soon to be ex (although she did say that I should just force her to come out, I made a joke at this point saying that I'll come kidnap her).

What should my actions with her be now? I was thinking of texting her and saying that we should do it again. Any advice guys?

 

[Scion]

no advice guys?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

First of all, how old is she, how old are you?

When a woman tells you stuff like "I am done with him" it doesn't mean they are or will be done with them soon. It usually signifies what they are "brainstorming" or contemplating in doing. They are thinking out loud, which means, she might or might not actually do it, but at least she's thought about it. 6-9 months later you might know the actual final out come.

Why are you on "dates" with a woman who has man? The next man who sees her naked is not going to be the one who takes her out, listens to her thinking process regarding her boyfriend she's contemplating dumping, et. The next guy to bed her will be the type of guy that escalates, amplifies attracting and attempts to kiss her.

The guy right after the guy who just bangs her, is the one she'll get into the next LTR with. So, grasshoper, we are looking at least about 9-12 months down the road for her to be ready to date and for a relationship.

What are you trying to accomplish with this one. I say you just get "in" and then proceed, while dating other women. Get "in" by kissing her and not put so much emphasis on going out with her and having to make plans and that whole process.

 

[Scion]

First of all, how old is she, how old are you?

When a woman tells you stuff like "I am done with him" it doesn't mean they are or will be done with them soon. It usually signifies what they are "brainstorming" or contemplating in doing. They are thinking out loud, which means, she might or might not actually do it, but at least she's thought about it. 6-9 months later you might know the actual final out come.

Why are you on "dates" with a woman who has man? The next man who sees her naked is not going to be the one who takes her out, listens to her thinking process regarding her boyfriend she's contemplating dumping, et. The next guy to bed her will be the type of guy that escalates, amplifies attracting and attempts to kiss her.

The guy right after the guy who just bangs her, is the one she'll get into the next LTR with. So, grasshoper, we are looking at least about 9-12 months down the road for her to be ready to date and for a relationship.

What are you trying to accomplish with this one. I say you just get "in" and then proceed, while dating other women. Get "in" by kissing her and not put so much emphasis on going out with her and having to make plans and that whole process.

we're in our early twenties. I didn't go hang out with her to listen to her problems, she barely talked about him other than to tell me that she's gonna break up with him. But yeah, I don't make it a habit to go out with girls that have boyfriends.

I'm not sure what I'd like to accomplish with her. I find her very attractive, but I also like her personality. I guess the best thing to do would be to kiss her. And yes I do plan to see other girls too, have one lined up for this week.

 

[Scion]

Any more advice about when I should contact her and what I should say? I'd hate to screw this up by doing something stupid. I did send her a text tonight asking what she's up too but no response.

 

[jdbman11]

Any more advice about when I should contact her and what I should say? I'd hate to screw this up by doing something stupid. I did send her a text tonight asking what she's up too but no response.

Make sure you're not just focusing on her. Have some other hb's on hand. Since you sent a message and she didn't respond. All you can do now is give it a little time to marinate. Keep busy. If she doesn't respond to you, the next time you contact her, make sure you have a plan. And by plan I mean like you're already doing something and you want her to join you. Don't make it seem like you've just been waiting around on her. feel me?

 

[Scion]

Yeah, I feel you. Unfortunately for me I don't have any other hb's around. I was supposed to meet up with one tonight but she couldn't make it because of the amount of school work she has (which I doubt is bs). Would it be a good idea to try the girl I wrote this post about again tomorrow or thurs and try to plan a meet for next week?

 

[jdbman11]

if you're going to schedule something i'd do it that day or the next. Waiting until next week or whatever is going to give alot of time for her to come up with some bs reason to miss the date or alot of time wandering what to say to each other

 

[Scion]

if you're going to schedule something i'd do it that day or the next. Waiting until next week or whatever is going to give alot of time for her to come up with some bs reason to miss the date or alot of time wandering what to say to each other

problem is I don't know her schedule and I'd actually like to do something with her and not just get lucky that she has the next day off (and is free, since she does have friends after all).

 

[Scion]

Well I tried calling her again, no answer. Left a message saying we should do something tomorrow night. If she contacts me again then ok, but otherwise I'm not ever contacting her again. Slightly annoying because I actually liked her, didn't just want to sleep with her. Oh well, that's life I guess.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

But yeah, I don't make it a habit to go out with girls that have boyfriends.

Next her until she's single.
Oh and stop trying to manipulate yourself into thinking you're doing the right thing.

 

[Scion]

Next her until she's single.
Oh and stop trying to manipulate yourself into thinking you're doing the right thing.

for one, she is single. I thought she was still with her boyfriend but I found she wasn't when we went out. Doesn't matter though, I doubt she's interested.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

for one, she is single. I thought she was still with her boyfriend but I found she wasn't when we went out. Doesn't matter though, I doubt she's interested.

Actually I don't think you get it.
She's playing hard to get and you should have called her on that one instead of asking her out in a phone message.

If she contacts you again, get straight to the point.
Make sure not to ask her why she didn't return your messages.

 

[Scion]

She told you she was with someone when she wasn't. What else do you need to know?

Who said she told me she was with someone? She did have a boyfriend til recently (she's a friend of a friend of a friend so I've met her ex at parties and such). All she said when we went out is that they were done, she just hadn't broken the news to him yet. Personally I consider that single (well, close enough anyways).

But it wouldn't at all surprise me if I don't hear from her again.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Girls sometimes say they have boyfriends as shyt tests, so I dunno if that necessarily shows disinterest.

 

[Scion]

You did.

Sorry, so I guess her telling me she was breaking up with her bf was her way of telling me she's not interested?

Whatever, doesn't really matter now. If I don't hear from her in the next couple day then I'll delete her contact info. Man do I need to find a girl actually interested.

 

[Scion]

If she was really all that interested, she probably wouldn't have told you she had a boyfriend to begin with.

I've met her boyfriend at parties, so she knows I know she had one. But I agree she's probably not that interested, I probably just misread her when we were out.

 

[Scion]

Maybe. Maybe not. Women are rarely black and white on anything unless they're really hot for you or completely repulsed. I'd say odds were that she contemplated the possibilities while you two were out but ultimately decided otherwise afterwords. Why, who knows. Could be something stupid. But you gave it a shot.

Delete her number, don't delete it... whatever. Just let it go and keep mingling. If she comes back around sometime, give it another go. Just don't drunk dial the girl.

ha, no worries bout drunk dialing her, I'm not drinking for the next month or two (too busy with work and school). Though I do got to say that I'm starting to get discouraged by my ****ty luck with women, thinking about giving it a rest for a bit.