What to do about X comments?

[everywomanshero]

Search the forum and you'll find a lot of posts about "what do I do in response to X comments". This idea is stemming out of the belief that there is a specific best response for every type of comment and if one could just memorize all of these he would be the master jedi of conversation.

I think the best response to any comment is the one that pops into your head. Who gives a crap what some guy with social anxiety who pretends to be a PUA on the Internet says is the best thing to say? The guy probably just finished jerking off to star trek. How will anyone ever get your unqiue sense of humor & personality if your always pretending to be this hodge-podge of different Internet personalities? Also talking to someone who is constantly thinking and thinking of what to say instead of being in the moment is pretty weird.

As far as disrespectful comments from total strangers go, I don't try to "neg my target" or use verbal tatics planned with military precision. I actually say, "I find that disrespectful, please don't do that." I'm not saying you should do that, but thats what I do if I feel disrepected or offended by a total stranger. To be honest, I think it's OK to have real values. If someone is a racist or unhappy person, I legitimately want to avoid them until that behavior changes. It's not a ploy to sneak into some unhappy person's life or to try tricking someone into being respectful to me and others.

All of these verbal tatics and hypersensitive responses to others are coming from a place of desperate neediness. A need to try forcing people to like someone or to try changing one's own personality on the fly to get social approval from people they don't even really like. I cannot imagine what kind of damage this does to one's self-esteem to think he has to hide who he really is for even a small number of people in the world to want to be involved. The great irony is that all the while these men's fake hodge-podge of personalities are pushing away women who would've otherwise had a great time with them, then getting frustrated because "women are too choosey". The funny thing is women aren't very choosey at all. I just got online a week or so ago and I've already met and slept with one and I'm calling another today who lives right down the road from me. I found them with all of 10 minutes of searching and sending 3 or 4 line emails lol.

 

[bukowski_merit]

didn't you just say in another thread that you only go after taken woman?
and you seem to do most of your game online? (which i do a decent amount of as well, so i'm not knocking)

that's a totally different world than the issues most people are involved in on here...

but overall - yes - it's dumb to think there's a perfect answer... but there's defintely better answers...

 

[everywomanshero]

Yea, if the woman isn't at least seriously dating someone or preferably living with someone, due to my own life circumstances and it just makes thing easier for me to deal with, I don't start things up with them. I am somewhat oppotunistic about where to meet people, but online (again due to those restrictions) is often a faster and more comfortable way to get things started with someone. You're correct that I am coming from a different place than (or at least I would imagine I am) the average person asking these kinds of questions. However, I legitimately and truly believe that almost every person on this forum can be himself/herself and have great dating and sex lives. And I believe they can do this with a sense of ease and comfort rather than the uncertainty and discomfort that comes with seeing conversation as a contest and trying to be this fake person who runs around judging everyone. What I actually think that accomplishes is a sense of unhappiness and gives one the vibe of being a real creep with little man's syndrome. lol. Just my .02, I welcome both those agree and those who who differ to walk their own path.