What the hell...?

[perseverance]

I've seeing this girl for six weeks, it's just some light casual dating, we hit it off well, we have a great connection, there's a spark there and this has been reinforced by us having some amazing sex, in fact she is by far the best sexual partner I've had. I really can't fault this girl much from what I've seen, except her laugh which is horrendous, but there you go!

Things were going well until yesterday afternoon/evening. I saw her on Monday and everything was good, I knew this girl was really into me and I was making the most of it, because these things never last. Well on Wednesday morning, I get text from her "Hi Perseverance, it's XYZ here, I was wondering would it be possible to meet up later, I have a few things I need to tell you, take care x". I saw this at Lunch time, didn't respond as I was too busy eating in the canteen. So I responded when I got home from work. So we meet up and this girl seems off with me. At this point I know that something is wrong and that this is probably going to end and I was right, it did, but not for the reasons I anticipated.

I assumed she had met someone else or was seeing more than one man and decided that I just wasn't as "good" as the others.

This girl told me she wasn't seeing anyone else other than me, which was fair enough, no, she decided she didn't want to carry on seeing me as she in her own words said I was too attractive for her? WTF...

According to her, I make her feel fat and unattractive and she just doesn't want to feel this way anymore. She feels this way despite the fact I have had sex with her on several occasions? Okay then...

I really didn't know what to say to this girl, because, well what can you say to something like that? I didn't try and persuade her to feel differently, or anything like that. I accepted her decision, wished her the best and left the situation.

I will admit I do feel annoyed, because I felt that me and this girl could have had something good going on, alright maybe not a relationship etc, but there was definitely the potential for some more amazing sex to take place. I also felt lied to as well because I've never been rejected in this way before. I've never had a woman say that I make her feel fat or unattractive etc.

FWIW, this girl isn't slim and slender, she isn't the best looking girl I've been with or anything, but I was attracted to her (still am) and that's good enough for me.

Has anyone else on here experienced something similar in the past?

 

[st_99]

sounds like your plain old.. "its not you, its me" line.

in other words, your classic rejection.

 

[perseverance]

You're not wrong there, St_99, It certainly seems that way, I basically just wanted to know if she was being legitimate or if she was desperately searching for a reasonable excuse to cut and run. :crackup:

Nothing she said about me was untrue, I am better looking than her and slimmer than her, but I would have thought the fact that I was pounded her vag would have been a clear indication to her that I was into her (quite literally)?

I mean I have scored with a few really gorgeous women and never once thought "I'm too ugly for these women, or I am too skinny/fat for them". It just seemed like a surreal turn of events to me when I heard that. It's certainly a memorable rejection, if nothing else.

 

[shizz702]

sounds like your plain old.. "its not you, its me" line.

in other words, your classic rejection.

That about sums it up.

Trying to be nice about it and can't just flat out say she ain't feeling you.

 

[perseverance]

That about sums it up.

Trying to be nice about it and can't just flat out say she ain't feeling you.

Yeah that's fair enough on her part, I just assumed she might have some insecurity issues or self esteem issues, tis all.

 

[IamJosan]

I don't believe this is the classic rejection line. Believe it or not, some girls put themselves down if they feel a guy is too attractive. I've heard it many times before, but not in the same way it happened to you.

I think what you should have done was told her that you thought she was attractive and told her things to make her feel good about herself. If that wouldn't have worked then you would've known if she really was giving you the classic rejection line.

 

[Viagra4Soul]

It may be true, or not. Either way, massive red flag.

She had decided it was over. You should decide likewise and never call again.

as you have <applause>...

 

[floydb25]

Yeah that's fair enough on her part, I just assumed she might have some insecurity issues or self esteem issues, tis all.

Even if this was the case, those issues aren't going away. People with low self-esteem are a pain to get involved with. No matter what you do or say, they don't believe they are deserving of good things, or to be happy. They even push people away and act hostile / mean when people try being nice or giving to them. They also sabotage any good things they do have, and feel like they must suffer and be miserable. Just the way they are. Getting involved in them will only result in chaos for you.

She might not be lying... I had girls with low self-esteem say I could do better than them before. This is another typical rejection, but they genuinely felt like they didn't deserve someone who was good-looking and nice. So, they went for someone who was unattractive and mean, instead - only to ***** about it constantly. That's how they are... They keep feeding the negative cycle.

These girls have other issues, which results in the low self-esteem. It's not just as simple as feeling someone is better than them, or whatever. There's usually childhood issues; abuse, neglect, abandonment, etc. It's not worth the hassle.

 

[window]

you need to relax, chicks love drama. just say ok no problem. Then dont contact. She may contact in a weeks time and say hey I was just having a bad day. The thing is dont take it personally. The worst thing you can do when she pulls away is to try and get her back.

 

[Inlone]

Sometimes self-deprecation and low self-esteem are masks for vanity and perfectionism. (Hate to admit it, but it's a quality I myself have had, at times). So, in a backhanded sort of way, she's actually insulting you. If she said that *you're* making her feel that way, it's as if her poor self-image is your fault or something. It's almost as if she's saying there's something wrong with you, not her. She's also implying you have poor taste.

I don't know this girl or her personality like you do, obviously, but maybe you could've teased her about it, playfully telling her she's "shallow" and hung up on looks? Even saying it gently and humorously, in case she's over-sensitive. Or maybe with the next girl who acts like that.

You probably did the right thing in the end.

 

[perseverance]

you need to relax, chicks love drama. just say ok no problem. Then dont contact. She may contact in a weeks time and say hey I was just having a bad day. The thing is dont take it personally. The worst thing you can do when she pulls away is to try and get her back.

Thanks for the advice guys.

Window, it's over as far as I am concerned, I mean there wasn't really much there to begin with, it was all potential, but no solid foundations to be built on, so I am not upset or anything. Nothing lasts forever, so just enjoy it while it does last, that's my perspective on life.

I just wondered if this had happened to anyone on here in the past, because I was just sitting there speechless, I honestly thought she was taking the Michael out of me or something as I was listening to what she was saying. I think it's a stupid reason to end someone that was light and fun, but the choice is hers, onwards and upwards for me, bro, onwards and upwards!