Lyon
New Member
Help guys,
I need some advice. I am 24 she is 36, married 2 kids. So I met her randomly at a bookstore, she was with her kids and we just started talking about music. I just had bought a violin with the optic to learn. She said she plays professionally handing me her card with all her contact info... Few days later I wrote an e-mail about meeting and getting the advice I needed. So since I am a college student and don't have a car, I proposed a trip to the museums close by (with or without her kids as I was just looking for some quick dirty tips) so that she would have a good reason to come in my area. She replied: "Turns out my husband is out of town next week, it is time to do theses kind of things." I was not sure weather it was a clear offer of just casual talk, after that e-mail she decided to move the meeting 4 days earlier (when hubby would still be in town). So since I was going for the free lesson I did not pay attention of it too much. Latter on the way back from the museums we were talking about my resent long term relationship (LTR) break-up; I said that I did not want to bored her too much with it since she has been married for 10 years and must be happy. She replied "She was more or less happy" I was like wtf !?! So we got to my place she saw my e-bay violin and said that it won’t make music! Leaving she asked me to send her a message when I m in her area. Turned out 2 days later, I was asked to baby sit some relatives 15 min away from her house. Naturally I send her a message; I took the kids I was babysitting to the park where she joins us with one of her kids. All that time there was very little Kino escalation as I was not very comfortable doing that around her kids. So as we were leaving she said she was going for a half day trip tomorrow to get a new violin. Since hubby decommissioned I would be more than welcome to join her. (She made sure to mention that the kids would not be there) Then she asked me if afterward I would have lunch with her and hubby "To make things more kosher” and she did not "want to upset anyone". This was blowing my mind but I had the balls to accept the offer! So she picked me up in the morning we went to get her new tool of work stopped in a little café for breakfast and came back. She was rushing so it was hard to have a proper discussion. I tried to start Kino but with little success since we were moving a lot from place to place and carrying 2 violins and a backpack. On the way back she mentions that she did not believe on “monogamist relationships.” So got back around 1:30, hubby had started to eat and reminded her that he had an appointment at 2. She said she thought it was at 3, this is when I started to wonder if she hadn’t been manipulating all that to be at her place alone with me. So we ate and went in the kitchen for coffee. This is when she says “I m at your mercy” This was a very clear offer. I was terrified not knowing when hubby was coming back! Not ****ing knowing when hubby was going to be back and since she picked me up having to stay there if I would have been rejected. Now I realized I should have asked her when is hubby back! So there I asked her what she wants to do getting closer to where she was sitting. I don’t know if it was last minute resistance or what but she stood up and went to the sink across the room. That threw me off a little bit (due to the fear of rejection and being stuck there). We chatted a bit got close to her and smelled so that I could do a routine I was reading about online. I told her she smelled good she said: “it is not for wash off” right there I was not sure what the **** she meant!! Now I have been thinking about it for a while and I think it might be a false disqualifier but I not sure. I did not know if it was a positive or negative comment. That last comment terrified me since 30 minutes had passed since hubby was gone. I still did not know when he was coming back nor if she was rejecting me. Then she asked me to move some furniture which I did like a ****ing tool. 1 and ½ hours had passed, she had the sitter come over with her kids and take me back as I was going few blocks from the sitter’s her house. I was so mad at myself that I called her next day. I had to make a move fast since hubby was out of town now she did not pick up my call. I waited to the next day called once waited 30 min and call again. I was decided of forgetting about all this if she would not pick up but she did. So we arranged a meeting on Friday all day (I could feel that now she was making things more difficult for me compare to before) she said that I was welcome to come but she had few things to do before we could hang out. I said “sure…” That was after I met her at some music hall where she wanted to try her violin she just had bought. We when to her home where she took care of some things for her kids when upstairs to her office closed the door and started playing the violin. I thought that was an opportunity to lessen music and to be alone with her, so I went up asked her if I could lessen her play. She shut me out saying that she works better alone. I got pissed I went back downstairs and start reading a book on that table that caught my eye: “Sexual anorexia” was the title – it looked like that book was studied as pages were written on – (I made sure to sit where she would have to see me with the book). At this time I had decided that is she would not cut the crap after lunch I would just leave. (I’m still wondering if I should not have left.) She came down 10 minutes later and stated cooking lunch I think I waited for her to reinitiate the discussion before coming over. So we had a good talk and she seams more comfortable with me being close to her and holding her back while taking (I could not go full Kino the kids were there.) We had a good lunch and I had brought some chocolates for desert but those where wrapped in some paper that has some quotes. The first one that I opened said something like “you should take advantage of what you can do right now before you loose the chance.” I gave it to her and told her that this one was for her. I know she got the message. I got 2 other quotes that were similar and I gave them to her just to be sure she would get the message. I gave her 2 or 3 indicators of interest (IOI) which made her pretty happy I could feel her very warm. We chatted and I let her do few things she had to do. On the way of dropping me off on her way to dinner with the kids grand mother I brought the discussion of the book up by asking “Is it a good book?” she answered something else about books in general. So I insisted “you did not answer my question” There I stated to feel that I was going to make her cry so I dropped the subject. This makes me think that hubby and her are not getting laid anymore. I changed subjects and she dropped me off. I had decided to now talk to her again until she would contact me. I wrote all this because she contacted me! Well it’s not that great. She just wanted to know where to go to sign up for some mailing list. I responded and engage an “Email game” (see spike) now I don’t really want to fall in the friend’s zone. (I should not with the IOI’s I gave her last time) What should I do? Keep perusing of just give up? What should I do if I peruse? I think most of my problems come from the fact that it is very difficult to isolate her to build Kino comfort– I am so mad I had my chance and I ****ed it up!!!
I need some advice. I am 24 she is 36, married 2 kids. So I met her randomly at a bookstore, she was with her kids and we just started talking about music. I just had bought a violin with the optic to learn. She said she plays professionally handing me her card with all her contact info... Few days later I wrote an e-mail about meeting and getting the advice I needed. So since I am a college student and don't have a car, I proposed a trip to the museums close by (with or without her kids as I was just looking for some quick dirty tips) so that she would have a good reason to come in my area. She replied: "Turns out my husband is out of town next week, it is time to do theses kind of things." I was not sure weather it was a clear offer of just casual talk, after that e-mail she decided to move the meeting 4 days earlier (when hubby would still be in town). So since I was going for the free lesson I did not pay attention of it too much. Latter on the way back from the museums we were talking about my resent long term relationship (LTR) break-up; I said that I did not want to bored her too much with it since she has been married for 10 years and must be happy. She replied "She was more or less happy" I was like wtf !?! So we got to my place she saw my e-bay violin and said that it won’t make music! Leaving she asked me to send her a message when I m in her area. Turned out 2 days later, I was asked to baby sit some relatives 15 min away from her house. Naturally I send her a message; I took the kids I was babysitting to the park where she joins us with one of her kids. All that time there was very little Kino escalation as I was not very comfortable doing that around her kids. So as we were leaving she said she was going for a half day trip tomorrow to get a new violin. Since hubby decommissioned I would be more than welcome to join her. (She made sure to mention that the kids would not be there) Then she asked me if afterward I would have lunch with her and hubby "To make things more kosher” and she did not "want to upset anyone". This was blowing my mind but I had the balls to accept the offer! So she picked me up in the morning we went to get her new tool of work stopped in a little café for breakfast and came back. She was rushing so it was hard to have a proper discussion. I tried to start Kino but with little success since we were moving a lot from place to place and carrying 2 violins and a backpack. On the way back she mentions that she did not believe on “monogamist relationships.” So got back around 1:30, hubby had started to eat and reminded her that he had an appointment at 2. She said she thought it was at 3, this is when I started to wonder if she hadn’t been manipulating all that to be at her place alone with me. So we ate and went in the kitchen for coffee. This is when she says “I m at your mercy” This was a very clear offer. I was terrified not knowing when hubby was coming back! Not ****ing knowing when hubby was going to be back and since she picked me up having to stay there if I would have been rejected. Now I realized I should have asked her when is hubby back! So there I asked her what she wants to do getting closer to where she was sitting. I don’t know if it was last minute resistance or what but she stood up and went to the sink across the room. That threw me off a little bit (due to the fear of rejection and being stuck there). We chatted a bit got close to her and smelled so that I could do a routine I was reading about online. I told her she smelled good she said: “it is not for wash off” right there I was not sure what the **** she meant!! Now I have been thinking about it for a while and I think it might be a false disqualifier but I not sure. I did not know if it was a positive or negative comment. That last comment terrified me since 30 minutes had passed since hubby was gone. I still did not know when he was coming back nor if she was rejecting me. Then she asked me to move some furniture which I did like a ****ing tool. 1 and ½ hours had passed, she had the sitter come over with her kids and take me back as I was going few blocks from the sitter’s her house. I was so mad at myself that I called her next day. I had to make a move fast since hubby was out of town now she did not pick up my call. I waited to the next day called once waited 30 min and call again. I was decided of forgetting about all this if she would not pick up but she did. So we arranged a meeting on Friday all day (I could feel that now she was making things more difficult for me compare to before) she said that I was welcome to come but she had few things to do before we could hang out. I said “sure…” That was after I met her at some music hall where she wanted to try her violin she just had bought. We when to her home where she took care of some things for her kids when upstairs to her office closed the door and started playing the violin. I thought that was an opportunity to lessen music and to be alone with her, so I went up asked her if I could lessen her play. She shut me out saying that she works better alone. I got pissed I went back downstairs and start reading a book on that table that caught my eye: “Sexual anorexia” was the title – it looked like that book was studied as pages were written on – (I made sure to sit where she would have to see me with the book). At this time I had decided that is she would not cut the crap after lunch I would just leave. (I’m still wondering if I should not have left.) She came down 10 minutes later and stated cooking lunch I think I waited for her to reinitiate the discussion before coming over. So we had a good talk and she seams more comfortable with me being close to her and holding her back while taking (I could not go full Kino the kids were there.) We had a good lunch and I had brought some chocolates for desert but those where wrapped in some paper that has some quotes. The first one that I opened said something like “you should take advantage of what you can do right now before you loose the chance.” I gave it to her and told her that this one was for her. I know she got the message. I got 2 other quotes that were similar and I gave them to her just to be sure she would get the message. I gave her 2 or 3 indicators of interest (IOI) which made her pretty happy I could feel her very warm. We chatted and I let her do few things she had to do. On the way of dropping me off on her way to dinner with the kids grand mother I brought the discussion of the book up by asking “Is it a good book?” she answered something else about books in general. So I insisted “you did not answer my question” There I stated to feel that I was going to make her cry so I dropped the subject. This makes me think that hubby and her are not getting laid anymore. I changed subjects and she dropped me off. I had decided to now talk to her again until she would contact me. I wrote all this because she contacted me! Well it’s not that great. She just wanted to know where to go to sign up for some mailing list. I responded and engage an “Email game” (see spike) now I don’t really want to fall in the friend’s zone. (I should not with the IOI’s I gave her last time) What should I do? Keep perusing of just give up? What should I do if I peruse? I think most of my problems come from the fact that it is very difficult to isolate her to build Kino comfort– I am so mad I had my chance and I ****ed it up!!!