"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

what salsa can teach you about sexuality.

Jay Jay

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it was at salsa classes that i first began to escape what it is often referred to as the 'matrix' on this board.

THE MATRIX.

before going any further i'll say a few words about the matrix.

the matrix for me is simply the idea that many men of my generation and those younger were brought up with some bad ideas.

we were taught by women to be like what they WANT to be attracted to, not what they ARE attracted to.

we were taught that somehow our natural masculine drives [particularly the drives to sex the ladies and dominate all we survey] causes women to be oppressed.

we were taught that our natural love of the female form in some way objectifies them and makes them less.

of course this is radical feminism at its worst, that the vast majority of women do not want us to believe this and that things have become a terrible tangle.

THE RED PILL OR THE BLUE PILL.

like neo many of us feel that something just isn't right. then we experience just one too many glitches in the matrix. we begin looking for answers . eventually we will find a site like this which will offer the pill to awaken us.

when i first started looking for answers [about 5.5 years ago now] i found this site and others like it. what i read about the nature of masculine and feminine, whilst striking a chord within still made me uncomfortable.

what i didn't realise at the time was there was not one pill but two pills.

it was the red pill that made me feel bad. basically the red pill said that the matrix was oppressing men. that it should be women in the matrix. you will be able to identify people who have taken this pill by how much they talk about how women are hors and how modern women suck etc etc...

the red pill is a bad trip.

it was at salsa that i found the blue pill.

SALSA.

without further ado i will now tell you what i learned at salsa.

the first thing they said was... actually it was 1,2,3 pause, 5, 6, 7

the SECOND thing they said was 'THE MAN LEADS'

i thought, 'wow, the chicks are NOT going to like that.'

these salsa teachers didn't seem worried that they were flying in the face of fifty years of feminist struggle.

to the men 'the man leads, the man always leads, the man must lead. YOU MUST LEAD.'

to the ladies 'as a woman you must be led. it does not matter how well you do the steps, if you are not being led you are a bad dancer. THE WOMEN MUST FOLLOW THE MAN MUST LEAD.'

i thought to myself, whoever came up with this **** is a patriachal genius.

'hold your woman strongly.' they told us. 'don't be weak in your hands. let her know that you are the man, that you have her. look into her eyes. don't look down. let her know that it is you who have her and what you want her to do.'

anyway after a few lessons something happened that blew my mind. when it was a girls turn to dance with me they all started saying, 'thank god i have you now, you wouldn't believe how bad most of these guys are.'

'but i can't even do the steps properly.' its true, i was tripping over myself with every second step.

'that doesn't matter, YOU LEAD. you look into my eyes, you hold my back and hand firmly. you let me know what you want me to do. you can't believe how SLIMY AND WEAK those other guys are.'

after the fourth or fifth girl told me that i was like, 'what the ****.'

and then there was the comment that floored me. 'i love dancing with you. you are so in control, its such a turn on.'

i put the blue pill in my mouth.

and then the male salsa instructer gave me a glass of water to wash it down.

'its not the males role to show off.' he then did all these impressive moves. 'wank' he said. 'its the guys role to lead the woman in order to make the woman look fantastic. if you lead well you will be directing the woman to do the magical stuff.'

'its a partnership where we have equal but different roles. the man leads but he leads in order to raise the woman to magical heights.'

so thats it really.

hope you get something out of that.

JJ
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

AllAmericanGuy

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I enjoyed this post... I actually took some swing classses a while back, that type of environemnt is really layed back, easy to meet a lot of people.
 

Oxide

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I like this post, very good.

Funny how if you just develop this one trait to be comfortable leading and not pus$yfooting it suddenly transcribes into every other part of your life, making it a lot better!
 

sexxyback

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How did Neo know about the existence of the Matrix if he was stuck in the Matrix the whole time?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Jason88

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Nice post....btw how much does salsa lessons cost?

lol... i was thinking of taking a class before reading this post but damn...now im in
 
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