What Kills Me...

[Leashed]

Is that I still see in the mirror what I was three years, a 260lbs teenager with low self esteem, and very low confidence.

The years in high school I wasn't able to develop the social skills, not just with attractive girls, but in general with everybody I came across. I was terrified and paranoid that people were always look at me, but they weren't. I had my close group of friends who I was completely comfortable with.

Thats my major problem, I don't feel comfortable around new people. It takes me time to develop the comfort level with somebody and the effort and awkwardness of getting to know somebody is something I constantly have a hard time of doing because I have honestly never in my life initiated any kind of conversation with somebody I do not share the comfort level with.

Its not that I don't want to be social, but I constantly choke up and can't deliver my words as confidently, and clearly as should.

Now I conquered one demon and that was the obesity. Down to 188lbs of legitimate muscle and good physique. But it hasn't brought on the confidence I wish it would have.

I've considered phyiatric counselling to help me through it because I honestly do not think its something I can fix. As much as I tell myself, 'okay I'm gonna go out there and be outgoing, and talkative, but when I go out into the world I become isolated and quiet.

I'm anti-social, but I really don't want to be. So what the hell is wrong with me?

 

[Nip/Tuck]

Is that I still see in the mirror what I was three years, a 260lbs teenager with low self esteem, and very low confidence.

The years in high school I wasn't able to develop the social skills, not just with attractive girls, but in general with everybody I came across. I was terrified and paranoid that people were always look at me, but they weren't. I had my close group of friends who I was completely comfortable with.

Thats my major problem, I don't feel comfortable around new people. It takes me time to develop the comfort level with somebody and the effort and awkwardness of getting to know somebody is something I constantly have a hard time of doing because I have honestly never in my life initiated any kind of conversation with somebody I do not share the comfort level with.

Its not that I don't want to be social, but I constantly choke up and can't deliver my words as confidently, and clearly as should.

Now I conquered one demon and that was the obesity. Down to 188lbs of legitimate muscle and good physique. But it hasn't brought on the confidence I wish it would have.

I've considered phyiatric counselling to help me through it because I honestly do not think its something I can fix. As much as I tell myself, 'okay I'm gonna go out there and be outgoing, and talkative, but when I go out into the world I become isolated and quiet.

I'm anti-social, but I really don't want to be. So what the hell is wrong with me?

Your basically a b*tch that's why. Seriously locate your balls. Confidence and self-respect is a must if you want to be good at socializing. Start out small and work your way up.

How did you meet your circle of friends? Your friends will influence you no matter what, it's called reference group. Find people who you admire and have qualities you would like to have and start hanging out with them. It's pretty easy just say hi and spark a conversation. Fluff, compliment or whatever make them feel good about themselves. Find a common interest, if they like basketball go play basketball. Dudes do stuff, while girls like to socialize about nothing. So if you want more guy friends go out and do stuff. If you want girlfriends then read up on "chick lit" and have something to talk about.

If you still can't then find a hobby and join a club. Everyone in that club already shares a common interest, so starting a conversation is easy. Once you get to know them get their contact AIM, facebook or cell phone. If you don't have these GET IT.

You'll come across some negative assh*les, forget the haters and just keep on improving me. You can't please everyone.

P.S.

Read some Pook and Mr. Senor Fingers Threads. Watch some stand up comedy and get in a good mood before you socialize too. People like funny people.