Is that I still see in the mirror what I was three years, a 260lbs teenager with low self esteem, and very low confidence.
The years in high school I wasn't able to develop the social skills, not just with attractive girls, but in general with everybody I came across. I was terrified and paranoid that people were always look at me, but they weren't. I had my close group of friends who I was completely comfortable with.
Thats my major problem, I don't feel comfortable around new people. It takes me time to develop the comfort level with somebody and the effort and awkwardness of getting to know somebody is something I constantly have a hard time of doing because I have honestly never in my life initiated any kind of conversation with somebody I do not share the comfort level with.
Its not that I don't want to be social, but I constantly choke up and can't deliver my words as confidently, and clearly as should.
Now I conquered one demon and that was the obesity. Down to 188lbs of legitimate muscle and good physique. But it hasn't brought on the confidence I wish it would have.
I've considered phyiatric counselling to help me through it because I honestly do not think its something I can fix. As much as I tell myself, 'okay I'm gonna go out there and be outgoing, and talkative, but when I go out into the world I become isolated and quiet.
I'm anti-social, but I really don't want to be. So what the hell is wrong with me?
The years in high school I wasn't able to develop the social skills, not just with attractive girls, but in general with everybody I came across. I was terrified and paranoid that people were always look at me, but they weren't. I had my close group of friends who I was completely comfortable with.
Thats my major problem, I don't feel comfortable around new people. It takes me time to develop the comfort level with somebody and the effort and awkwardness of getting to know somebody is something I constantly have a hard time of doing because I have honestly never in my life initiated any kind of conversation with somebody I do not share the comfort level with.
Its not that I don't want to be social, but I constantly choke up and can't deliver my words as confidently, and clearly as should.
Now I conquered one demon and that was the obesity. Down to 188lbs of legitimate muscle and good physique. But it hasn't brought on the confidence I wish it would have.
I've considered phyiatric counselling to help me through it because I honestly do not think its something I can fix. As much as I tell myself, 'okay I'm gonna go out there and be outgoing, and talkative, but when I go out into the world I become isolated and quiet.
I'm anti-social, but I really don't want to be. So what the hell is wrong with me?
