What is your opinion on honesty?

[Zaraza]

Let me quickly explain, I have seen threads here on " should i cheat?" "going on vacation" blah blah blah "what should i do"?. What my priority here is, is to start a discussion about honesty. When is it appropriate lol, what is your opinion on it. Does being honest **** you over? or does it only **** you over, because you were honest about the wrong thing lol.


This can take many approaches, from being honest with your self (admitting you need improvements) to relationships, **** buddies, and life situations.

How important is it?

Honesty and Confidence = deadly?

 

[AKA FLEX]

I play all my cards face up, and I have found that takes me much farther in life, career, sex, than trying to put up a facade or be someone I'm not.

You'll gain a few enemies by speaking openly and frankly, but f--- those people. Your life will be so much easier than if you had to keep track of one fib after another, not to mention the people who actually matter will respect you for it.

 

[Igetit!]

I believe that you should always be honest. If you're honest,especially when you tell her something she doesn't like,she might not like it,but she will have no choice but to respect you.If she ask you something you don't want her to know, just say,"I don"t want you to know that".Hey,women do it,right?

 

[Rebound Material]

I believe that you should always be honest. If you're honest,especially when you tell her something she doesn't like,she might not like it,but she will have no choice but to respect you.If she ask you something you don't want her to know, just say,"I don"t want you to know that".Hey,women do it,right?

I usually say "Id rather not discuss that".

 

[Kev07]

I try my best to be honest

 

[darkme_legendary]

"Honesty is always the best policy unless you are an exceptional good liar."

With yourself is much better to be honest.(read Radical honesty)

With others is not a rule, it depends more on the situation. With girls is generally better to be honest because you will spend far less energy in the process & you will keep things much simpler.

 

[I'm Charming]

I consider myself to be one of the most honest people I know. Not just honest, brutally honest, I am not a good liar, and honesty has never ever done me any favours. People dont like honesty, they want to withdraw from the reality, not be reminded of it.

However, I'll only be honest if people ask my opinion on something, I don't feel the need to tell people everything about myself - weaknesses etc etc - I don't see that as being honesty - merely shooting myself in the foot.

Having known a few notably good liars though I must conclude that lying hasn't done them any favours either because when someone found out they ended up just f**king themselves over.

 

[slaog]

Liars always get found out in the end. A little lie here and there and suddenly that person cannot be trusted and when somebody can't be trusted the other person starts lying too and it's a vicious circle.

If you're looking for a LTR it's important to be honest and it's even more important to find an honest woman. The foundations of a relationship are built on honesty and if theres no honesty there the whole relationship could collapse easily and this puts strain on people. So it's better to be honest from the start.

 

[Warrior74]

There is honestly and then stupidity.

Her: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You: "No, but your ass does".

See...thats just stupid. It's a point where being brutally honest is just being a dyckface.

Her: "Would you ever sleep with my best friend?"
You: "Well....if we broke up, and enough time had passed and our feelings had changed....blah blah blah"

Dyckface! Lie, lie lie lie. and then lie some more. She doesn't want the truth, because she already knows the truth...she asks you so you can tell her want she wants to hear not what she knows is true.

So how honest are you talking about? If I'm dating a girl (and by dating I mean she's a plate), then I tell her that I'm dating other girls too (have other plates). If she asks for more than info on that, I tell her that's none of her business. Sleeping with other women is not cheating in this instance.

I only have LTRs with those I am really serious about. I won't have the desire to cheat on her. If I get to the point where she isn't meeting my needs and it seems as if the relationship is going down. I'll tell her how I feel, I'll try to work things out, but after that...yah I might branch swing up outta there. That maybe considered cheating by some. But not by my ex-girlfriends when they did it to me. I suppose the proper way is to have more respect for the other person and end it properly. But that has never worked for me in the past. Break ups are messy affairs at best, tragedies in the making at worst in my experiences.

Let's not pretend that silence and ommission aren't the same as lying. I know many of you have lied by ommission. I know I have.

I try to keep faith and honesty with myself first and formost. I lie to my enemies with abandon. And I refuse to tell things to people who don't need to know certian things about my business. The question is not if you lie, but who do you lie too?

 

[Jokerlsk]

no man is smart enough to be a successful liar. It's best to always be honest no matter what

 

[WC2]

I play all my cards face up, and I have found that takes me much farther in life, career, sex, than trying to put up a facade or be someone I'm not.

You'll gain a few enemies by speaking openly and frankly, but f--- those people. Your life will be so much easier than if you had to keep track of one fib after another, not to mention the people who actually matter will respect you for it.

Excellent post

 

[Interceptor]

Honesty comes from a Value system based on Love and Respect.

If you follow the Golden Rule, and wish to be treated well, so you must treat others well.

If you operate from High Character, the choice is obvious, honesty is the best policy.
What one needs to develop is a life in which you never have to tell a fib or white lie, or ever truly try to cover up a massive error in judgement that you want nobody to know, or how you really feel about something.
Do you always need to speak your mind?
Sometimes, no.
Sometimes you can and should keep your mouth shut.

Remember, if you follow your Higher Self, you will choose mature, Win/Win situations.
You can deal with delayed gratification.
You can also speak from a place of respect and love even if you have to speak something which may hurt another's feelings.

Sometimes a short term pain is better than living dishonestly, with another and oneself.

If you respect yourself, you will not lie to yourself.

If you respect others, you will not lie to others.

If you posses love and compassion, and respect the other, you will speak in a manner that is obviously not hurtful when you speak the truth.
Sometimes others dont want to see the truth, sometimes you have to tell them.

Sometimes you dont want to be honest with yourself, but you must learn to do so, and appreciate it. It is how you Learn and GROW.


Learn to not place yourself in situations where you have to lie.


Think of it as a pre emptive strike to low character.

Cut it off before it can even tempt you.


When you are sincere with everyone, it becomes harder for others to blame you for your honesty and sincerity...
...because they know your CHARACTER.
They know you have Values and Morals.

They will respect that.

And if they dont..thats ok too.

You cant control another's perception filters, how they see the world...and YOU...is not under control.

Be truthful.
Dont be hurtful.
Be sincere.
Be honest.
Dont be passive/aggressive and just label it as 'just being honest', or'just tryin to keep it real, yo!"...
...its not. Its insincere.

Speak your truth. And if you know deep in your heart, that your truth does not compromise and hurt another, then be proud of it, and never apoligize for it.
Yes, some things are very delicate. But there ARE ways to be compassionate in your delivery. You dont have to be an ass hole, and be cold and callous.
Dont let 'how will they react?" deter you in being honest when your needs are not being met.
Learn when to be blunt, and when to be tactful. And try to keep compassion, and understanding in your heart when you speak it...



If you've made a mistake..admit it. Apologize. Ask them for forgiveness. Dont just say 'my bad'..or 'sorry'. They are NOT the same thing.
Admit it when you make an error in judgement. That is honesty too.

Be in touch with your feelings. That way you understand yourself better, and your TRUE motivation.

People never respect LIARS.
But if you are sincere when you admit your lie, and sincerely apologize, and ask for forgiveness, they are much more likely to grant it to you, AND really respect you for it.
But learn the skill of avoiding that mistake. Dont put yourself in that position in the first place.

It takes guts to be honest.
It takes guts to be genuine.
It takes guts to accept that some people will not accept you.
It takes guts to be REAL.

 

[Zaraza]

Wow this thread took off, thank you all for contributing. I kept feeling that there is a confusion on what being honest really means. People are influenced by so many factors these days, it becomes difficult for some to respect and be honest.

 

[Aristotle]

Honesty is a virtue that creates stability. Since reality is out of one's control and thus largely unstable, stable ideals give a higher sense of control and thus stability. Women do not want some unstable train wreck of a man, they want a man that they can depend on, which stems from honesty.

So even though these sentences seem to provide rationale for one to be honest with women, as a few others have said, one could still be dishonest so long as one is able to remain aware of the lies one tells. However, we need not discuss this because being honest is apart of the original social contract that we all live under. To deny a fundamental aspect of society, that of honesty, is to slow down the pursuit of prosperity.

One not only hurts oneself when one lies, but also the people that one interacts with. Because when you lie to someone, you distort their reality, too. We do not want to distort reality, we want to clarify it.

"An honest man doesn't have to remember anything," says Mark Twain.

Honesty is a very sensitive issue because it is such a fundamental aspect of society, so be honest if you want to prosper, and be dishonesty if you want to suffer. It may not always appear this way in the short-term context of reality, so do not let the positive short-term effects that dishonesty may bring blur your vision. It seems real simple, but as others have said, it isn't.

The good thing is that the more honest you are, the easier it becomes.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie..