What Is going on here?

[OlympicTim]

So about 10 months ago I was driving on an icy back road, got over-confident and was going to fast and slipped off missed a hydro pole by inches. It shook me up a bit but me and my car ended up being okay and I got over it learned that I'm not an invisible teenager and moved on.

However 2 weeks ago a childhood friend of mine died in a car accident. Similar situation was just going to fast for the road conditions and lost control of his vechile.

It's been a tough time obviously but the one thing thats bothering me is the fact that I havent been able to sleep since I went to the visitation. Talking to his mother made me realize how close that was to being me. Every time I fall asleep I dream about slipping of the road and it wakes me up all startled and such.

I also have this feeling that I shouldn't be alive. Not in an I want to kill myself depressed sort of way just that I should of died when I was in my accident.

I don't feel like it's PTSD because that seems to be much more serious then just me losing sleep. But I really don't know what is going on here and do any of you guys have similar experiences and how do you deal with it