"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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what if both play hard to get?

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hey DJs,

I am in a situation which i guess no body has ever been or very few has faced this. I do ****y and funny, hard to get, push and pulll, pursue my interests first, confident and a good looking guy. With this attitude, I have gotten lots of girls. And, I have started it for change within myself since may,2008 (i started reading sossuave articles) coz i had been a wussy for the last 4-5 years when I had an attraction for the first time. I was 19 at that time. I was xtremely shy with girls. Even, I felt like I got an electric shock when girls touch me, except my mom. And, my voice used to tremble while speaking with girls.
Now, I am changed but the problem is, the girl whom i have been playing hard to get with is also playing the same (i suppose). I send her mixed messages and she too sends me mixed messages. I dont know, if she is playing hard to get or she is not interested in that kinda relationship. I dont know whether how do i deal with the situation?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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slaog

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beginner_to_the_game said:
Now, I am changed but the problem is, the girl whom i have been playing hard to get with is also playing the same (i suppose). I send her mixed messages and she too sends me mixed messages. I dont know, if she is playing hard to get or she is not interested in that kinda relationship. I dont know whether how do i deal with the situation?
Well it's not that unusual. Ye are both flirting with each other and both waiting for the other to make a move. Sounds like you both fear rejection too.


She could also just be playing along since you are playing games but I think it sounds like she likes you. Just try asking her out. You don't even have to do it directly just say you're going somewhere and ask her if she wants to come along.
 

oakraiderz2

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You say you use push pull...its probably time to pull if you want some of her sweet tang.
 

Vice

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hahaha, the topic title is hilarious.

Reminds me of a commercial in GTA IV's radio station "Radio Broker" when the announcer describes one of the station's afterparties: everyone is too "cool" and "sophisticated" and "relaxed", so no one starts a conversation and thus the party is a borefest.

Ask her out this Friday night. Drive around a bit, get a bite to eat, then find a nice secluded spot and MAKE YOUR MOVE. Preferably when you've teased her a bit.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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the d-rock

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Agreed. You have to watch too if you wait too long flirting and things and you have a secluded spot and dont make a move she will think you dont have the courage to do it and lose points.
 
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oops....sorry guys.....i forgot to tell you one thing.....she has now moved to boston and i m at irving, TX rite now....so, only chat or phone calls are possible....do u guys think i can still make it possible...and the most complex situation is that her ex is in my cell phone family plan and we talk often....thas the reason why i cannot say or do what can be done in general to her.....so we three are basically connected.....the ex still likes her (i suppose and is also playing hard to get).....and i do too and I dont know about her......but she gets excited when we talk.....
so i m trying all those tactics so that she gets attracted with me except for taking her out for dates or kino touching....and i m confused bout her reactions for my actions...

u guys' earlier suggrestions are great....
thanx...
 

kazz

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beginner_to_the_game said:
oops....sorry guys.....i forgot to tell you one thing.....she has now moved to boston and i m at irving, TX rite now....so, only chat or phone calls are possible....do u guys think i can still make it possible...and the most complex situation is that her ex is in my cell phone family plan and we talk often....thas the reason why i cannot say or do what can be done in general to her.....so we three are basically connected.....the ex still likes her (i suppose and is also playing hard to get).....and i do too and I dont know about her......but she gets excited when we talk.....
so i m trying all those tactics so that she gets attracted with me except for taking her out for dates or kino touching....and i m confused bout her reactions for my actions...

u guys' earlier suggrestions are great....
thanx...

You could try talking to her? But I'd start looking for a new girl man...
 
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i dont deny on that one....it s just that .i havent found a niche for pursuing a new one yet.....so may be the failure to make her feel attracted towards me is bother me.....so in the mean time, do u see any breakthrough to this situation?
 
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