What I Learned from a Week of Camp

[cococrispy]

This past week I went to a camp for the fourth year in a row. I like it because I use it as a social experiment, just experimenting to see what works and what doesn't work when talking to people. I just turned 18 and going to college soon.

This camp is a conservative camp, but most of the kids there are actually pretty cool since their parents made them go in the first place anyways.

As a note, this year I tried to do what the people say here by having as much fun as I can. Also, I took a public speaking course last year and so I can talk emotionally. But this week was FILLED with DRAMA!

SATURDAY

-As I came in on the first day, I noticed a girl who looked pretty average last year looked hot this year at 16 years old. I used to call her "nerd" because she sucked up to all the camp instructors.

-When she came over to my table to talk to me and my friend, she lost her voice so it made her sound like a dude. I cracked up a few teases about her manliness.

-HBnerd sat at my table along with a HBstalker (girl who seriously has a crush on me and got my phone # last year and I don't know how). The most popular dudes sit at my table and we are always the obnoxious ones having the most fun. I made a bet with both girls that I could drink soy sauce and hot sauce and a bunch of crap in a drink and I did it to win a few bucks

SUNDAY

-HBstalker convinced HBnerd to join my study group (we were just studying for an evaluation). HBstalker eventually gets jealous and anytime I turn my attention to HBnerd, HBstalker literally tells me to listen to her & I am not paying much attention to her. I make teases here and there to both of them.

MONDAY & TUESDAY

-One of the night me and HBnerd get in a heated argument and I make sexist comments that were freaking hilarious. Everyone was laughing hard and I was being so witty she just couldn't handle it. She then asks me to fight her :box: , and I am telling her that I am completely anti-violence & everyone bursts out laughing. Somehow we got to the discussion of paying for girl's dinners, and she's like "If I would go out with you..." everyone interrupts and is like OOOOOH!!!!! and then she makes a comment and everyone sings me & HBnerd sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g

-After it she asks me for a truce, which was that I would say no bad things to her and she would do the same to me. I DECLINED and told her that I am going to use my first amendment rights of free speech. And then she said she's going to use her 2nd amendment gun rights and declared war.

-Everyone from camp knows about this argument and is referred to as the "(My name) and HBnerd thing" Several people are asking if HBnerd likes me or what the heck was the deal with her sass that night

WEDNESDAY

-In the morning, I walked past the table she was at and said, "It smells like men's aftershave in here!" and everyone went :crackup:

-We all went on a fieldtrip on a bus and I sit next to my friend and HBnerd sits by herself (she doesn't have that many friends for some reason). She sits in the opposite column and 1 row in front of me. She told me she was going to ignore me, so I call her out when she starts teasing me. At one point I say sarcastically "HBnerd, you have such beautiful eyes. You have such a beautiful shirt. In fact so beautiful I saw my mom wearing it a couple days ago." And the whole back of the bus started cracking up :crackup:

-On the field trip, my friends formed a circle around me because it was rumored that HBnerd keeps a knife in her pocket and that she is insane. She would ignore me but my friends and me were having a fun time avoiding her. On the busride back she totally dropped cold on me. Some other girl tries to flirt with me and asks me to show my muscles.

-After my cabin got a talk outside about how we have all been misbehaving, I offered HBnerd the truce again and told her that I got changed, but she didn't believe it. Later on, HBstalker told HBnerd to join our study group for the final evaluation test, and HBnerd joined it. I told her she is the smart one and that I need her help to do well on it. I don't tease her at all.

-At the campfire, she sings a song that was actually really good. Before going to our cabins, I gave her a sincere compliment.

THURSDAY

-Ironically HBnerd, HBstalker, and me are together as a small group to go in a van ride to hand out camp brochures to random people. I sit next to HBnerd, do very very slight kino by taking up her space and having our arms touch

-On the van ride back to the camp, HBstalker kinos me like crazy in the back seat while HBnerd is in the row in front. The 3 of us talk and it seems like HBnerd is much less distant now to me as opposed to yesterday. I talked to HBnerd about her own life.

-I offered that they both play poker with me. They both do it, but I teach HBnerd how to. I do light kino again by giving her pats on the back when she does well, and whisper to her what she should do. Keep in mind kino isn't even allowed at the camp.

-HBnerd reluctantly takes a picture of me and HBstalker. I jokingly asked her why she hates me so much, she told me it's not me but it's the guys who make fun of her whenever she happens to be around me

-When she signed her name on the back of my picture, it said "To the most annoying camper yet. Confession: yes I would have kicked your..." She happened to sit next to me at campfire and I told her that I am getting rid of the truce and we are at war again :box:

FRIDAY

-HBstalker took a picture of me and HBnerd staring each other down because everyone keeps talking about that time when she wanted to fight me

-When I was about to leave, I said goodbye to her but she gave me a good hug that was really unexpected

OBSERVATIONS/SPARKNOTES:
-I tried using lots of eye contact when talking to girls. I don't think that had any affect on me
-HBstalker liking me so much might have helped HBnerd continue to come to me (preselection). HBstalker gave me blatant PDA.
-I opened doors for a few girls, and they told me they didn't like me doing that.
-My biggest lesson is that I went over the line with backhanded compliments. I did it way too much. When I was nicer she did talk to me more. I think a ratio of 3 teases to 1 compliment works.
-Her actions to me seemed irrational and didn't make sense, everything can't be "calculated"
-I think the kino worked a little bit as well as the rapport of me talking to her about her life.
-I kind of have the feeling she did not like me (which is fine) because she wasn't really anxious to talk to me, unless it's just her introvert personality
-I was annoying at times. I need to tone myself down when I am having too much fun.
-Acting really dumb showed vulnerability and worked
-Even if HBnerd did not like me, I still had the most fun that I could possibly have. I think I chose having fun over her liking me.

Sorry this is long, if you have any suggestions to help me in the future feel free to tell me.

 

[LearningSlowly]

It sounds like you broke rapport too often. You were unfriendly more than you were friendly.

I'm learning this lesson from KassemG on youtube. The vast majority of women he talks to see him as a sexual option, and most people like him. When you watch his videos, you will say, "Wow! He breaks rapport so often! There are so many backhanded compliments, or even insults!"

Now go and watch his uncut interviews. You will, if you are paying attention, notice something telling. MOST OF THE TIME, he is BUILDING rapport with people. He repeats back what they say, enforces the beliefs that they express, and generally seems to approve of them as people. When he breaks rapport, it is ONLY at the FUNNIEST moments, not every other sentence.

You seem to break rapport too often, and therefore annoy girls with your teasing. Also, why did you not make a move?

 

[Jack Wealthy]

All game and no direction. May as well play soccer with no goals.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Good stuff man. Glad you had fun!
Lesson: Make your move earlier! It was perfect on Monday/Tuesday.
Don't be afraid to show your intentions

 

[DanZy]

May as well play soccer with no goals.

And that my friends is what we call "African Football". Watch machine gun preacher, Hollywood seems to think that it's all little black kids do.

 

[cococrispy]

It sounds like you broke rapport too often. You were unfriendly more than you were friendly.

I'm learning this lesson from KassemG on youtube. The vast majority of women he talks to see him as a sexual option, and most people like him. When you watch his videos, you will say, "Wow! He breaks rapport so often! There are so many backhanded compliments, or even insults!"

Now go and watch his uncut interviews. You will, if you are paying attention, notice something telling. MOST OF THE TIME, he is BUILDING rapport with people. He repeats back what they say, enforces the beliefs that they express, and generally seems to approve of them as people. When he breaks rapport, it is ONLY at the FUNNIEST moments, not every other sentence.

You seem to break rapport too often, and therefore annoy girls with your teasing. Also, why did you not make a move?

I can rapport with people really well now (because I took the public speaking course). You're right, I was just way too much in the moment with that girl and I wasn't thinking and just kept breaking rapport naturally. I just need to have self-control for when I am doing it too much.

Good stuff man. Glad you had fun!
Lesson: Make your move earlier! It was perfect on Monday/Tuesday.
Don't be afraid to show your intentions

Yah, now that I think about it, Wednesday was the day I completely went over the line, and before that I was heading in a great direction.

She probably liked me at one point but I didn't make a move so we won't know. I didn't want to make a move because this camp is really conservative, and if I got caught then I would get banned from ever coming again.

I'm probably going to start a journal when I go to college this fall. I went to an all-guys high school so I don't have experience, but I am going to learn from my mistakes. I will not make excuses because I will be farrrrr away from my parents :woo:

Thanks for the replies