"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What happens when you're honest with a cluster bomb?

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GameOfNoGame

Don Juan
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And I don't mean telling her the depths of my feelings, no no. I mean when she starts hoovering with flirting & sweet words about missing me. I enjoy her company & all so normally I just take the moment as is & play along with, knowing it's only a matter of time before she pulls or drifts off again but curious to see if she's actually learned a lesson. What if instead, I or you in a similar situation instead just straight up said this

"Ain't happening. You're obviously mentally disordered, here's how, here's why. I read that these people can't change but I gave you chances anyway and you blew it every time. I want to be happy and you can never do that. Get help because I can't provide it and maybe you won't end up dying alone after having systematically disillusioned everyone you've ever met through a life of pointless drama of your own creation."

How would someone like that respond. Actually already gave her some resources on understanding what's making her so ****ed up. She was very thankful about it but I don't think she took it seriously because she's as nutty as ever. I was nice about it then but this is a question about being brutally honest. Would this kind of person flip out? hoover harder? know the jig is up & leave me alone? what?

I know honesty is something people here use only so long as it's tactful but at least she wouldn't confuse reservation with being a nice guy anymore. Just because I don't say something doesn't mean I don't think it, just because I am forgiving doesn't mean I'm forgetful and I'm curious how a clusterbomb would react if they think they're losing a good supply.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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GameOfNoGame

Don Juan
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Oh she's admitted that she has issues but I think she uses that as an excuse & doesn't really believe it otherwise she'd do something about it. I don't endorse her desructive behaviour either and have told her why the things she's doing are so wrong. She said I drive her crazy then casually changed the subject.

It doesn't SEEM to matter because they don't respond to criticism or praise they're just on like an auto pilot. It's difficult because most people, even women, can be reasoned with but these kinds of people do things, even they don't know why & even stopping to question it doesn't stop them from doing it,

For them they act on instincts which are wrong, get them into trouble & cause destruction. As such, some here might think that saying honesty is a mistake & showing a reaction gives her the subliminal power. But at least someone said something when others shrugs or walks away. I can sleep at night.

The question is, what direction does their autopilot take them when someone with this kind of psychology is confronted bluntly and consequences are clear?
 
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