What got you to your first Open?

[loving]

Guys I'm reaching a tipping point in my life.. I know I'm not there yet, but its becoming more and more unbearable not to have girls in my life.. I know I am motivated more by escaping pain than getting pleasure at this point, and I have tried, many a time, to logic or psyche my way into approaching girls I thought were super hot. It just doesn't work for me, I can't get myself to open, no matter how attracted I am to them, my negative feelings stop me, and tons of people have gotten frustrated with me telling me to just do it, even offered me money to - I just f'ing can't! The problem is it doesn't hurt enough yet, I don't have the motivation to go open women.

I want to know what you went through that helped you push past your social anxiety/fear of opening and what it was that actually made the switch in your head that got you from not opening a hot girl, to going right up to her.

Please help me with your experiences.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

I want to know what you went through that helped you push past your social anxiety/fear of opening and what it was that actually made the switch in your head that got you from not opening a hot girl, to going right up to her.

Please help me with your experiences.

I started out by playing "crash and burn". It really works.

Get some friends of yours together and go to a club out of your general area so the girls are all unfamiliar. Suggest to your friends that you play "crash and burn" and see who can get rejected the fastest or in the most amusing way. Maybe the one who gets rejected the best or fastest after 3 turns each gets free drinks. Or pool some cash.

You'll have to take turns and it's not like you can just sit there when it's your turn because the guys who have already had to go will force you to. Have the guy who last walked up to a girl be the one to pick the girl you have to "crash and burn on.

Keep doing this sort of thing and you'll realize the worst that can happen is: well, nothing at all. Oh no, you got what you wanted, rejection. HAHAHA

And, after you do ANYTHING enough times you'll get acclimated to it. I guarantee that if you "crash and burn" even a dozen hotties you'll already start to feel a huge change in yourself. You won't be nearly as intimidated.

Do this with dozens of hotties over a short period of time and you'll wonder why you were ever intimidated by them at all.

NOTE: Interestingly enough, some of the girls will figure out what you guys are doing, think it's cute, and will come talk to your table. Don't be intimidated, they'll like that you guys are at least trying to become confident unlike almost all of the other guys who just try to get them drunk or flatter them.

 

[xdreamz]

at least you're aware of your problem and that is an important first step. approach anxiety is just anxiety, the opposite is approach confidence. so to get approach confidence you merely have to do the opposite of what you have been doing.

from my own experience my friends started pushing me to talk to girls and i would do it. i would watch how my friends did it and learned from them. every time i failed it just drove me to try harder and i gradually built up enough of a game plan to run them through and make something happen.

 

[Drewskie]

Good post man.

 

[Drewskie]

bump..