"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What do you think?

vp171s

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I need some advice as to how things are playing out for me...

I met this girl in one of my classes. I've been talking to her pretty much every time we've had class. Yesterday we had class and she dropped a little bombshell which I sort of was expecting.

I knew something was up. I just knew it, I told my friend there was something fishy. It was in her eyes, especially that time when her, John and I were walking out of class. I had assumed she was also taking the bus like the rest of us but she pulled a little "oh I'm going this way, I'm getting picked up". It wasn't so much the words as it were the eyes. I was convinced she did indeed have a boyfriend.

So as I was saying, yesterday she brought up the fact that she broke up with her boyfriend. She has never mentioned, during all the times we talked that she had a boyfriend and yet she told me she broke up with the boyfriend I did not know she had, on the first day after it happened.

Am I just making it up or does it really seem like it I should be reading between the lines. If I was unaware she had a boyfriend why tell me she broke up with him?

Opinions?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Chosen1

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well, i'm only replying to this because no one replies to my threads but she seems like one of those girls that doesn't place too much value on boyfriends like if you were to ask you who was picking her up she would go out of her way to not tell you it was just her boyfriend if you like her you might want to get her alone like ask her to do something with you like if you and "john" are going to do something ask her if she wants to come and then tell her john couldn't make it
 

Serialized3

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She wants you to make a move, man. She wants to let you know she's available.

When girls have a boyfriend that they don't tell you about, it means she's up for cheating almost all of the time. It's the opposite of girls who lie about having a boyfriend so that a guy she doesn't like will leave her alone.
 

vp171s

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@Chosen1 - haha still thanks! I'm planning on doing exactly that, except John isn't even part of the equation. I have her number etc so I could just ring her up and no problem. I'm just thinking of where best to go...

@Serialized3 - I don't know if its so much cheating as maybe she didn't bother telling me because she wasnt very fond of him anyway. She told me she broke up with him infront of all his friends over the weekend. And maybe she told me she broke up with him to, like you said, nudge me to make a move...

I hope so anyway...

Ideas or a first date welcome!
 

flexion_

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Forget about all the "whatifs". Just be a fun guy and if you like her ask her out. If she says yes or no then you know where you stand. Unless she is blatently telling you she has a BF upfront you are doing nothing wrong.

If yes move forward if no find someone else to talk to in the class.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Wiesman44

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I don't understand why you didnt get her number the minute you knew you wanted her ?

Quit analyzing because it won't get you anywhere. Be a man, approach her, get her number, ask her out. Its that simple, and it will solve ALL your problems u are having right now.
 

vp171s

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Wiesman44 said:
I don't understand why you didnt get her number the minute you knew you wanted her ?

Quit analyzing because it won't get you anywhere. Be a man, approach her, get her number, ask her out. Its that simple, and it will solve ALL your problems u are having right now.
Sorry for my lack of info. I did in fact get her number the minute I knew I wanted her! :p Though that didn't stop me from analyzing haha

@flexion_ - you're right of course

I'm planning to call her today after work and see if she wants to go for a stroll around here.
 

vp171s

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right so I called her up today. Asked her if she had any plans for the weekend and we made plans for sunday...day plans because nights aren't so good for her...

I have this feeling I can't seem to shake off...when I talked to her on the phone she seemed surprised when I asked her to hang out. Now maybe it was a good surprise? But still...

First thing she said after she said she was available was "where and when?" ... sounds like i'm climbing into a sinking boat?
 

Chosen1

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hey i don't post much but you need to stay positive she wouldn't talk to you if she didn't at least like you and you might want to mention her surprize like "you sounded surprized when i asked you out you must have thought you weren't good enough for me" smile and joke
 

LongDrinkofWater

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First thing she said after she said she was available was "where and when?" ... sounds like i'm climbing into a sinking boat?
Not a sinking boat. She is making herself avaliable. If anyone else was in the picture, she would not have asked you 'where and when' but rather skirted the invitation. As for her sounding surprised, I'd take it as a positive thing. If you still have 'that feeling', then by all means keep it to yourself but don't ignore it. You know way more about her than anyone else here ever will, but don't let your doubts get in the way. Give her a chance to prove herself.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

vp171s

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@Chosen1 - thanks for posting then. I don't plan to come out a tease her about but I will just see overall how it goes.

@LongDrinkofWater - Yeah you're right.

I figure tomorrow we'll go rollerblade or something have a chat you know take it easy. I'm trying not to make any expectations I just want to see if it will go anywhere. If not then no biggy...
 
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