"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

What do you guys think?

PTC

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
171
Reaction score
2
This is kind of an update from an earlier thread I posted. I met this chick thru a mutual friend, kinda like a blind date thing. Anyhow that was about 2 or 3 weeks ago and we have continued to stay in touch thru phone conversations and small texting. I have kinda hinted around a couple of times that we need to go have some drinks one night again and even flat out and asked her one night but she had her kid, who is 13. This is the deal tho, I kinda have been standing off from this chick because I'm really not interested in a GF right now and she didn't really seem interested. But the thing is SHE is the one that always calls ME all the time! And she fricken talks forever!! She seems pretty cool but I don't understand what her intentions are. She called me last night again and i finally just asked her if she had plans for this weekend to see if she wanted to do something but she said she would have to let me know because she didn't know if the kids dad was going to watch him or not.

Any insight?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Jeremymichael

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 10, 2001
Messages
290
Reaction score
2
Age
57
Location
UK
I know what you are saying. Sometime there is no clear green light. I admire you for asking her out. She can't keep making excuses for her 13 year old all the time if she's interested. Watch out for friendship zone!
 

caliente05

New Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2008
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
Location
San Diego, CA
It sounds like she doesn't have any friends or anyone else to simply conversate with. It definitely seems like she just wants friendship and nothing further if she keeps putting off going out with you.
 

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
this is not looking good. seems like if she was attracted she would find a way to make some time for you. but you do provide a SERVICE to her as a kind of girlfriend. A mistake we often make is spending Far too much time talking to women on the phone in the hopes that she will see how nice and understanding we are. She is using you as a sounding board with emphasis on Using. You need to be clear with her that you want more and get a direct answer. Be proactive not reactive. If she is not interested she gets no more phone time with you. Even if she is, you need to cut way back on your phone time with her. Remember that if you believe you are the prize you need to get "paid" for the time you tolerate her yapping.
 

true romance

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 30, 2006
Messages
188
Reaction score
5
Location
Paradise
single mom and playign around.

ask directly ...I think that we have a connection, would you like to find out over few drinks..?

Then you know if she is interested..Sometime you have to be direct and not wasting your time
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

PTC

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
171
Reaction score
2
persistent exaction said:
this is not looking good. seems like if she was attracted she would find a way to make some time for you. but you do provide a SERVICE to her as a kind of girlfriend. A mistake we often make is spending Far too much time talking to women on the phone in the hopes that she will see how nice and understanding we are. She is using you as a sounding board with emphasis on Using. You need to be clear with her that you want more and get a direct answer. Be proactive not reactive. If she is not interested she gets no more phone time with you. Even if she is, you need to cut way back on your phone time with her. Remember that if you believe you are the prize you need to get "paid" for the time you tolerate her yapping.
Yeah, thats what i was thinking as well. I think she just likes to talk. And I try to shorten the conversation like I did last night but I don't wanna be too rude. I feel like all this crap we're talking about on the phone could be done sitting next to each other in a bar! :D If she makes an excuse this weekend I'm gonna bail on her.
 
Top