What An HB9 Told Me Last Night

[wjh]

So we were talking and discussing relationships/dating. I was basically trying to get into her head. Well, she was talking about a guy she was dating and she was upset because he wouldn't take 1 minute from his "busy"day to call her and say hi and let her know how he's been. She didn't like that and was assuming that he was probably seeing someone else. But this wasn't stopping her from wanting to go further. Well, I used the following analogy: When you touch a hot stove and it burns, you pull away. Not only that, but you know that if you touch it again, it'll burn you, and on and on. Well, she agreed. It was like she just realized this for the first time. Then she said "I guess I just like playing with fire".

It's funny the way things work. I might next her. I don't know yet.

 

[Ricky]

How do you next a girl you aren't even dating?

 

[wjh]

Very easily, you don't need to "date" a girl to know that she could be a huge headache or a waste of time. But that's beside the point of the thread.

 

[Ricky]

Agree. I just though nexting was more a term used for a girl you're dating.

There are plenty of girls that will waste your time.

 

[wjh]

Maybe it is a term more often used for people that are dating, but it's not limited to it.

And I definitely agree, there are a ton of girls out there that can waste ALL of your time and/or energy.

 

[Robbie]

wjh,

I'm interested, in your opionion, what about this particular hot stove has the girl coming back to touch it time and time again?

 

[Taser]

Everyone is missing the point. What can we learn from this story?

She was upset because he wouldn't take 1 minute from his "busy"day to call her and say hi and let her know how he's been. She didn't like that and was assuming that he was probably seeing someone else.

Hmm. The boyfriend's not calling every day . . . he's a bit distant . . . and she assumes he's seeing other people.
Sounds like the boyfriend has a tight game. And how's the boyfriend's method working?

But this wasn't stopping her from wanting to go further. Then she said "I guess I just like playing with fire."

Don't be too pissed at the girl--I bet her boyfriend is a sosuave member.

 

[Robbie]

But what makes this guy a commodity?

Let's say Joe Blow marches his short, ugly butt to a bar and talks to a woman for an hour before getting her number. They go out. She's not really all that into him physically, mentally, or emotionally. But he plays his game tight and he doesn't return her calls and he hints that he may be dating other women.

The woman becomes frustrated that it is so difficult to get in touch with him, but what's stopping her from NEXTing him? How big of an impact is made by playing hard to get?

 

[Taser]

Everything begins with her IL. The boyfriend is keeping her IL high. Once you have IL, maintain your game to keep it high and build on it.

How did the boyfriend build IL in the first place? I'd need more facts from wjh to answer this question. However, this site has plenty of tips to help cultivate initial IL--such as:

C&F;
Exuding confidence;
Social proof;
Showing passion about your job, hobbies, family, whatever;
Unpredictability;
Use of neg. hits;
Avoiding AFC ways; etc.

Even MDJs won't do a cold approach unless they observe IOI. The things mentioned in this post and hundreds of tips mentioned elsewhere on this site can help create initial IL.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by Robbie
wjh,

I'm interested, in your opionion, what about this particular hot stove has the girl coming back to touch it time and time again?

I don't know specifically, but I'm sure it's a combination of a tight game and good sex.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by Taser
Everyone is missing the point. What can we learn from this story?

Hmm. The boyfriend's not calling every day . . . he's a bit distant . . . and she assumes he's seeing other people.
Sounds like the boyfriend has a tight game. And how's the boyfriend's method working?

Don't be too pissed at the girl--I bet her boyfriend is a sosuave member.

lol. i'm not pissed at the girl, i just don't think i'm willing to spend my time on her. i'd rather work on a girl that doesn't have this sort of guy working in the background.

but, his methods seem to be working well. i wish i knew more, but i can't ask her his methodology, she probably can't see through it, much less describe it.

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by Robbie
But what makes this guy a commodity?

Let's say Joe Blow marches his short, ugly butt to a bar and talks to a woman for an hour before getting her number. They go out. She's not really all that into him physically, mentally, or emotionally. But he plays his game tight and he doesn't return her calls and he hints that he may be dating other women.

The woman becomes frustrated that it is so difficult to get in touch with him, but what's stopping her from NEXTing him? How big of an impact is made by playing hard to get?

But I don't know if he's short, fat or ugly. Although, we can assume for the sake of argument that he is. I do know, however, that this man is NOT the man of her dreams, but more of a challenge.

She told me that relative to one of her relationships in the past, where it was REALLY REALLY BAD, dealing with this sort of thing isn't all that bad. She's still taking the crap, because she's taken so much in the past from other guys, that this is a blessing in disguise. You see why I don't want to get involved? It's pretty twisted. I feel bad for her.

 

[ketostix]

Originally posted by wjh


She told me that relative to one of her relationships in the past, where it was REALLY REALLY BAD, dealing with this sort of thing isn't all that bad. She's still taking the crap, because she's taken so much in the past from other guys, that this is a blessing in disguise. You see why I don't want to get involved? It's pretty twisted. I feel bad for her.

So she choose to exclusively date one after the other guys that treat her bad? If so then that's just more proof that she, and most girls like her, won't date a guy that is nice to them...isn't that the lesson here?

 

[wjh]

i suppose so ketostix. the lesson may also be that you shouldn't even try to hook up with these kinds of girls because they're not up to par with what many DJs want, that is; no bullsh!t.

 

[arq-dj1]

wjh, nice that u came here to present us with this good case... very practical indeed

one thing i found confusing is ketostix said he's being bad for her, or better, that she feels he treat her bad...

maybe he's seeing her way to little, that she feels that he's treating her bad.. hes not giving the "enough" attention, she's starving and feeling bad, hes treating her bad...

or

she thinks that the guy have to always be there, not be busy etc

to sum it up, i think it's a combination of this two factors

interesting, it's possible he's game do have actually a flaw

 

[SageOFAllenAge]

Originally posted by ketostix
So she choose to exclusively date one after the other guys that treat her bad? If so then that's just more proof that she, and most girls like her, won't date a guy that is nice to them...isn't that the lesson here?

While being 'nice' is definetly out of the question ..its not about being an @sshole to your woman ...I mean even if women did like guys treating them like dirt ...how could we like someone like that?

but IMO its all about strength rather than being a (unt

 

[wjh]

Originally posted by SageOFAllenAge
While being 'nice' is definetly out of the question ..its not about being an @sshole to your woman ...I mean even if women did like guys treating them like dirt ...how could we like someone like that?

but IMO its all about strength rather than being a (unt

I agree, strength is definitely the key characteristic.

And I also agree, I know I wouldn't dig a girl that liked, or responded the most favorably to, being treated like dirt.

 

[DJStudent]

You have an interesting comment there. With that comment I can assume girls are illogical or just plain stupid.

See the thing is that if that dude has any time for this girl, her interest would drop immediately. It's the whole you want what you can't have. That's the whole paradox. Even if you want this girl and you make time, she'll lose interest. This only applies to the non-stable hot girls or sluts? You know she's not good if she keep going back to something that would burn her.