What am I doing wrong? Analyze my situation.

[Dannyrt34]

I've been noticing a trend lately with my game and picking up girls. I'm a fairly good looking guy, so I don't have a problem getting eye contact and smiles from girls when I go out. I do my approaches and keep it fun, I always keep the girl laughing and get her info. We talk on the phone a few times, and yes, she calls me too, so it's not one-sided. But usually when it's time for the date she flakes out and cancels. Here's a more specific story:

First off, I had a previous problem that I solved on my own. I used to next girls too quickly. As soon as a girl would show even the slightest sign of disinterest, or playing any games, I'd move on. I cut off all contact and look for new girls, only to run into the same problem over and over again.

A girl I met about 2 months ago, whom I stopped calling because I nexted her, suddenly calls me out of the blue. After nearly a month with no contact with her, she calls me and asks "Why don't you ever call me?" She then goes on about how she can never get in touch with me, even though I never had any missed calls from her. We talked for a good while and then she goes "So when are you taking me out on a romantic date?". I told her I'll call her back with plans later that week.

In the meantime, I get plenty of text messages from her saying she can't wait to see me and stuff. Anyway, we set up a date, she DID tell me that she may or may not be able to go, since she has family flying in to visit that week. Anyway, the date fell through, she called to confirm she couldn't go, she says "Please don't think I'm blowing you off I really do want to see you."

Anyway, since then I never rescheduled a date with her, but we still talk every 2 or 3 days. She's still very flirty. I don't know if it's something I'm doing wrong, but this happens alot with girls. I don't think it's because the girls are not attracted, because we always hit it off nicely right from the first meeting. Some of my friends say that I might be a bit too imtimidating, and he says it's true that the girl may even be too nervous to go out with me, fearing she might mess up her chances with me. Hell, that would be flattering if that REALLY is the case. It might explain why they seem to enjoy hearing from me on the phone, but can never see me in person.

Any ideas on what could be going on? Or advice?

 

[blinkwatt]

Only thing I can say is your never know unless you try. Give her a shot, she is interest of course,otherwise she wouldnt call and make comments like that.

 

[swaptrex]

i can relate to the nexting quickly, i used to and still do that. if a girl wouldn't call me back i would never call her again. i am a little more lenient these days.

 

[SteveMcQ]

In what ways do you or your friend think you might be too intimidating? I've been told similar things from my friends and I just think it's ridiculous and would rather explain away my problems as I'm unattractive or lacking something, even though like you I have no problems getting girls' eye contact, smiles, or interest.

I guess with this girl you probably just need to make her believe that you're not going to put up with any crap...and that's not necessarily done by just cutting off all contract with her.

 

[Dannyrt34]

In what ways do you or your friend think you might be too intimidating? I've been told similar things from my friends and I just think it's ridiculous and would rather explain away my problems as I'm unattractive or lacking something, even though like you I have no problems getting girls' eye contact, smiles, or interest.

I guess with this girl you probably just need to make her believe that you're not going to put up with any crap...and that's not necessarily done by just cutting off all contract with her.

Well, I'm horrible at judging a girl's interest, so when she does something as simple as not calling when she says she will, I tend to just think "Oh well, guess she don't like me, I'll go find some new girls." I realized that this is the wrong way to handle this situation. Because I started to find out that these girls REALLY did still like me, I just didn't know it and nexted them too early. I ended up losing so many opportunities from this problem, and now I too am more lenient.

Since I'm so terrible at judging a girl's interest level, my friends usually help me out with that. They tell me girls sound very nervous when they talk to me, I don't believe it's because I'm not making them comfortable, but the girl starts talking alot and laughing at unusual times in the conversation. Which leads them to believe that she's nervous. I'm a very fun person and tease and joke around with the girls alot. I'm also very flirty. The girls do seem to love talking to me and being in my presence when I just meet them, but as soon as it comes date time, they say something came up. But they still continue to show many signs of interest after they flake.

My friend once told me that if you appear to be at a higher level than her, or, the girl is putting YOU on the pedestal. That you should tone down the game a little bit and bring yourself down to an equal level as her, such as telling her she looks beautiful or something, lets her know that she DOES have a chance with you. I think this may be my problem, and not to sound too ****y, but I'm the guy none of my friends like to sarge with because the girls pay more attention to me even though I don't do much, so I guess I am pretty good looking of a guy, but I don't think that would intimidate a girl that much.