"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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well it looked like i had a date set up for tomorrow then...

pete101

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looks like i'm not..

this chick:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=193430

i text her last night to set up a date for this weekend:

me: hey there HB, let's get together this weekend for those croissants, i got a couple things on but i have some free time on Sat or Sunday at 4pm, how's then?

this afternoon:

her: Hiii sure saturday seems fine..shall we meet up around 4? please send me the address

so far so good..

me 3 hours later:

me: yes, meet me at x place train station tomorrow at 4pm, i'll take us there it's only 5 mins walk. see you then. x

3 hours later:

her: can we make it 5.30??

45 mins later (at 8.45pm)..

me: yeah, in fact 5.30pm would be better for me. i look forward to seeing your sexy raven haired self tomorrow. ;) x

(prob wasn't ideal for me to be agreeing to her time but i thought i was overthinking it and 5.30 was better for me anyhow)

2mins later:

her: sexy? i dont think that's appropriate to say

20mins later

me: i stand by the statement. i only speak the truth so it must be true :)


my thoughts were 'goddamnit.. i overcomplicated things again.' but then i thought if she cant take playful flirting then clearly she had me friendzoned and didn't see me as a date, right?

she is foreign so may take the word 'sexy' as offensive esp coming from a relatively conservative country and religion so there might be some lost in translation issues, but at the end of the day if she liked me she wouldn't care.

what would have been a better response than what i said above? i may be overanalyzing but i felt if i took it back or apologised i'd look weak, im a man i should stand by what i say. although i think i may be applying the theory wrong.

tbh i dont think we're meeting tomorrow, i guess i'll show up stay 5 mins then leave. thing is i dont want to look like i got stood up so i'll prob go inside the station and pretend to look at the train map. not calling her to see where she is. if she wants to see me that's her choice.
 

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nismo-4

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Set up a date with one of your other prospects.

I'm doing it now.

Spin more plates.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Case closed.
 

runner83

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nismo-4 said:
Set up a date with one of your other prospects.

I'm doing it now.

Spin more plates.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Case closed.
Pretty much says it - if you care enough about the result to post it before you even meet up with her, chances are you will blow it anyway.

Try to stop over analysing every interaction and expect magic answers on here.

Just go for what seems right from your gut feel, learn from your mistakes and successes and LIVE!
 

pete101

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well we met up in the end, and i figured out why she was the way she was.. she wanted to friendzone me cos she has a bf.

i called her out on why she was bothered i called her sexy, she said it was inappropriate.. i said i was flirting.. she said she doesn't flirt.. i was thinking something is suspect.

she kept saying the word friends on the meeting, i said we're not friends. i mentioend about getting together next time to do something more active like tennis, she goes what else can we do that's active.. i gave her a wry smile but she didnt seem to get it.. or was oblivious or pretending to not turn it sexual.

there's no point seeing her now. im not gona get out ofr friendzone.

why is it that girls with bf's are so much harder to game?

like you hear about guys getting women to cheat all the time yet when i try to do it i just get friend zoned.

i dont have the repetoire of skill to stimulate enough attraction.

we had a great time, had her laughing in stitches, under normal circumstances a solid first date.. however this bf issue is a thorn in my side, there's no point playing tennis with her, im just going to be her sport buddy.. yeah there may be kino but that isn't going to help me get her into bed.

if i meet up with her she'll think im agreeing to be friends. i'll just walk away.

how do you get around this issue of a bf? i dont mean with her, i mean in general.
 

MisterD

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pete101 said:
why is it that girls with bf's are so much harder to game?
because she has a boyfriend

how do you get around this issue of a bf? i dont mean with her, i mean in general.
drop her and find a single woman

despite most of what's said on here, not every girl in a relationship is some sort of mega slut waiting for a new guy to come and game her. some chicks actually have morals and stick by their man.

start looking for single women
 

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You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

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These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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SharinganUser

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I wouldn't sweat it too much. The fact is that she was out with you means that she probably doesn't respect her boyfriend to much or that she is looking for other options. Both of those things in your favour.

If you want to bed her then I wouldn't back off completely. Just keep showing her that you are a sociable, attractive male that is fun to be around. Worst case scenario, she'll just be good practice for flirting.

To be honest it sounds like you don't have enough confidence in yourself. You don't need a large repertoire of skill to stimulate attraction. Just relax and enjoy yourself and do your best to raise the sexual tension. If you can do that then you've got half the battle.
 

J Roc

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pete101 said:
why is it that girls with bf's are so much harder to game?
You arent supposed to be gaming women with boyfriends. stop trying to save these hoes.
 

nismo-4

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Espi said:
The girl sounds like a fvucking moron to me. Big red flag when a girl gets bent out of shape being called "sexy." Though this is why I always tell guys to keep the texts minimal. Not flirts or wit or cutesy flirty phrases.

Still, that girl sounds like a pain in the azz to me. I see nothing good coming from a girl who thinks being told that she's sexy is "inappropriate." She sounds really rude and arrogant and defensive to me.
That's anti slvt defense.

She just ain't that into you when this happens.
 

djokovic77

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The thing is , what culture is she from? You said raven hair, I'm guessing Hispanic of some sort? Either that or Asian.

If shes Hispanic though, that's common. I once had a Colombian chick, smoking hot, hit on me at a club and then act all offended when I sent her aggressive sexual texts. The night I met her at the club and leaned in for a kiss she said 'no tongue on the first date, baby' I thought she was a waste of time (and money.) But I f*cked the life out of her on our first 'date.'

Now this girl you're with sounds like a waste of your time, so put her on pause. But keep her at arm's distance. She wouldn't have gone out with u if she wasn't at least a bit interested. And don't give a f*ck what her motivations are.

Always remember women/females are pretty simple/stupid, what's behind their actions doesn't really matter as much as how YOU feel!
 

TillTheEndOfTime

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MisterD said:
despite most of what's said on here, not every girl in a relationship is some sort of mega slut waiting for a new guy to come and game her. some chicks actually have morals and stick by their man.

start looking for single women
Bingo. Thank you for dispelling another piece of PUA propaganda. Not ALL women will cheat given the "right" circumstances as the PUA community will claim. Some women will not swing branches even if you are a better catch. Case in point, I tried flirting with a girl with a bf a few months ago. I was taller than him and better looking (more handsome face and in better shape to boot). Income potential is pretty much identical. So in total, I win. Yet she was having none of it. Excuse after excuse after excuse as to why she couldn't meet up. I had enough and dropped her. Stopped all calls and texts.

She sort of works a bit now for my attention because I purposely ignore her, but she remains with her bf. It doesn't phase me at all though, I'm actually glad to see a girl who is faithful like that. I just sarge on....
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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