welcome back to match

[Albatross953]

Well at fifty years old you get to break some rules don't you?

I went back online,met three women. One stealth photo taker heavier than her photos, one low interest, and one that seemed great.

First date with Jen, went out for lunch. Great date, conversation flowed and had a really good time. She told me was in a bad car accident but fine now.

Second date dinner at her house. Did not even make it in the door. We were on each other like rabbits. Things were great for a few days, then the other shoe started to drop.

She said was was molested as a child when very young.
She said the car accident was a result of being attacked, some guy tried to grab her and she sped away.

More dates, more flirting having a great time.

Then the other shoe drops again.

She had an affair when leaving her marriage last year. Can't say I love that but people make mistakes.

More dates, awesome sx having a great time.

The the other shoe drops again.

She gets quite drunk and calls me. Drops it on me when she was a young teen she had a fling with an adult. Would be statutory rpe.

Calls me an hour later still drunk, tells me a guy from work wants to come over. She told him no. But then tells me she was drunk around him last year and she suspects he rped her.

I AM FLOORED.

I wrote all this out mostly for my own benefit. She spent the last month love bombing me like no one ever has. She has a house, a career, family. I'm very attracted to her. She's smart, capable, and funny. She also has baggage I can't even begin to process.

I told her it was over this morning. Honestly I'm sad, disappointed, and angry at the universe that she wasn't a unicorn. She's blowing up my phone calling begging me not to end it. I'll admit it's very hard.

I know what the advice is already. Being a bit older doesn't make it any better.

 

[Dr.Suave]

You did the right thing bro. Stay strong.

 

[Robert28]

I’ll bet most the stories she told you are lies. They’re nothing more than to get you hooked and let your frame down for her to take control and drop YOU. Women like this are everywhere online trust me. They all follow the same script.

 

[Albatross953]

It is a huge turn off. Ironically I would have found it much easier if she'd responded with what this site preaches "OK". The dynamics seem to be reversed though, where me breaking off things with her I actually feel some bear minimum of responsibility for another person. Whereas a woman probably would have enjoyed making soup from my bones.

Either way I'm out. And feel OK with not being completely unfeeling.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Because for better for worse most of us morning, the 60s and 70s have rescue fantasies. It’s a hard thing to kill.

And women bare their souls, because they want to be accepted. Exactly as they are.

Can you explain why it's hard?

And why you're not completely turned off by her utterly toxic and needy behavior?

Begging, blowing up your phone? I would think that type of needy and desperate behavior would be the ultimate turn off.

Not judging, I'm genuinely curious.

Difference between men and women I suppose as for most women, myself included, a man begging and blowing up my phone are such turn offs, it would be extremely easy to end it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

There are no unicorns.

All women are liabilities. That means we can only find the least bad option. This woman is a trainwreck. She can only ruin your life, OP. Don’t feel bad about dumping her.

 

[RickTheToad]

Well at fifty years old you get to break some rules don't you?

I went back online,met three women. One stealth photo taker heavier than her photos, one low interest, and one that seemed great.

First date with Jen, went out for lunch. Great date, conversation flowed and had a really good time. She told me was in a bad car accident but fine now.

Second date dinner at her house. Did not even make it in the door. We were on each other like rabbits. Things were great for a few days, then the other shoe started to drop.

She said was was molested as a child when very young.
She said the car accident was a result of being attacked, some guy tried to grab her and she sped away.

More dates, more flirting having a great time.

Then the other shoe drops again.

She had an affair when leaving her marriage last year. Can't say I love that but people make mistakes.

More dates, awesome sx having a great time.

The the other shoe drops again.

She gets quite drunk and calls me. Drops it on me when she was a young teen she had a fling with an adult. Would be statutory rpe.

Calls me an hour later still drunk, tells me a guy from work wants to come over. She told him no. But then tells me she was drunk around him last year and she suspects he rped her.

I AM FLOORED.

I wrote all this out mostly for my own benefit. She spent the last month love bombing me like no one ever has. She has a house, a career, family. I'm very attracted to her. She's smart, capable, and funny. She also has baggage I can't even begin to process.

I told her it was over this morning. Honestly I'm sad, disappointed, and angry at the universe that she wasn't a unicorn. She's blowing up my phone calling begging me not to end it. I'll admit it's very hard.

I know what the advice is already. Being a bit older doesn't make it any better.

It would be in your best interest to better screen some of these nuts prior to showing them where you live. You did the right thing BTW.

 

[RickTheToad]

There are no unicorns.

All women are liabilities. That means we can only find the least bad option. This woman is a trainwreck. She can only ruin your life, OP. Don’t feel bad about dumping her.

Needle in a haystack dude.

 

[Toddy]

Definitely pass on that one.

A what sort of age are the women you’re chasing?

 

[Dr.Suave]

So you should lower standards and tolerate needy, desperate, toxic women because you lack options?

I can't relate to that but I'm not a guy who lacks options so fair enough.

Still doesn't answer my question why such needy and desperate behavior is NOT a huge turn off.

It only answers and explains why you tolerate it.

If a guy is spinning plates and the other plates are younger/hotter/lower body count then yes, it would be a turn off and he wouldnt be making a thread, he would just ghost because he has better options. But I guess this is what Oneitis looks like. Looks like It can happen to the best of us from time to time if we let our guard down.

 

[derby1]

Begging, blowing up your phone? I would think that type of needy and desperate behavior would be the ultimate turn off.

no it turns women off, remember women are covert/passive they do not give men attention. A woman going as far as to blow our phone up makes us feel rather proud for a short time.

Most men get so much little attention from women, "that they can recall this one time in 1977 when a woman flirted with them" thats how bad it is

OP probably feels like a KING, but as you say its a trap and he needs to kick this lunatic to the kerb