Weird, Kafkaesque situation

[Bonhomme]

I was at a club, and some dude said the gals at some other club where he said he works are "afraid of me." When I made light of it (I'd had a bit to drink) he started trying to threaten me. Which is the wrong way to deal with me. I don't take kindly to being treated like an idiot, and only idiots are moved by attempts to intimidate. It was quite a surprise, because any gals who work there always came across as friendly or neutral, and I don't exactly pay much attention to them, anyway. The one gal I have flirted with -- and not very much, at that -- has always been friendly and positive toward me, and I've never taken it seriously.

I looked the guy straight in the eye, and told him he doesn't intimidate me one bit, and if anybody has a problem with me they should tell me to my face, rather than by proxy. I asked him just who it was, and he would not identify anybody (which definitely made me wonder if there's anything to this), so I told him I'll just continue doing what I see fit to do, and repeated that I don't keep flirting with anybody if they don't respond positively. The master of diplomacy continued with his empty threats, which I duly ignored until he left.

Could he simply be a jealous chump? He seemed to be on the typical type of power trip that people in low positions who take orders all the time so often try in order to inflate their beaten down egos, because he really got frustrated when I stood my ground and pressed him for facts. I know if a gal told me some guy scared him, I'd ask her why first, and if there was something to it, tell her to tell him to leave her alone, and I'd help her if he didn't respect her wishes. Sometimes people bark up the wrong tree.

Or could it be possible that these gals are "afraid" because they're at some level attracted, but can't find a reasonable excuse to anything but civil to me? There's a difference between being afraid of attraction to someone and/or the strength of their personality and fearing for one's safety.

My main concern is to not let my game be affected by this. If anything, I'm too aloof as it is, and blow more opportunities out of complacency than over-aggressiveness. The guy probably overheard some offhanded comment, misinterpreted it, and made a mountain out of a molehill. Again, everybody over there has been friendly or neutral to me, and I don't have much contact with them. It's simply confusing, and hard to believe.

My thought is living well is the best revenge, and I won't walk on egg shells to satisfy unreasonable people. But it's still a pain in the ass to deal with such a Kafkaesque situation.

Any thoughts?

 

[Sart]

geepers

thought you were gonna say you were turnig into a ****roach when I read the title.

 

[thecraftylefty]

Ha, I also thought of Metamorphasis when reading the title.

But back to the point at hand.

Some guy, whom you have never met before, called you out because the girls said they are "afraid of you" at a particular club.

What I think is going on is that he feels you are overbearing to the girls at the club. You are asserting yourself to the females in such a way that he doesn't have the balls to. And he can't handle the fact that you are what he wants to be, so he takes it out on you.

I highly doubt your behavior scares and makes the girls "afraid" of you unless you're doing something terribly wrong. And seeing as how you've been around sosuave for quite some time I'm sure that's not the case. You're obviously a mature man who isn't going to harass and scare a bunch of women at a club just for kicks. You may have made a few wisecracks that he didn't approve of, but who cares.

I wouldn't waste much effort on the chump and what he said. Unless the girls verbally tell you otherwise keep on being Bonhomme around them.

thecraftylefty

 

[Bonhomme]

Makes sense, lefty

LOL @ the ****roach stuff. Now that would scare people.

 

[smoke city]

chalk it up to jealousy, bro...
A "friend" of mine once said out of the blue that girls he knew had said I had a "creepy vibe".
Of course it happened to be the same summer that I was doing 3 girls that he knew.

A life lesson I've learned: almost nobody (not even most of your friends) has any interest in your success. In fact, most people you know (especially your coworkers, competitors, etc.) would rather see you fail (in whatever venture you undertake). You should base your judgments *only on results--both internal states of mind and, well, external...results.