Hi, I am a 24 year old university guy who is currently having problems with a very unique girl. She displays all the interest signs, treating me differently from the rest of the guys (touching, laughing at my lame jokes, sharing food, seating next to me), yet somehow, i feel that she is not into me. I feel that she is holding back becasue she was scarred from her previous relationship and was wary of guys. She was heavily chased by guys from high school onwards and got attached once to a bastard who ill-treated her. The fact that she is close to me shows her trust in me but i am afraid she sees me as a friend for fear of getting hurt. Is there any way i can release her and make her like me more than that? She also seems focused on her studies but i remember some guy posted on this forum before that when a girl is feeling strong emotions of attraction, nothing can stop her. So how do i achieve this? I was a challenge as in almost all the conversations were started by her, i do not call her or instant message her and i display unneediness without any wuss attitude.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Weird girl
- Thread starter Hunter83
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Purple-Haze
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2008
- Messages
- 489
- Reaction score
- 12
You need to woo her. It seems like she's into you...so you're halfway there. Now all you need to do is flirt a little. Get her to see you as a potential partner and not just as a friend. Be suggestive but subtle...Hunter83 said:
And if she makes it obvious that she's afraid to move further because of her past experiences, calm her fears.
But really, at this point, FLIRT and get her all excited with anticipation.
Daddy The Pimp
Master Don Juan
Okey lets break this down .
Fish with net NOT with single rod [ as Rollo says on Plates Theory ].
This means dont stick only on her . Game other girls too
so you wont be needy .
Just the fact that you think she's unique is wrong . Believing it youll become needy and respect her . Youll also have fear of loosing her , so youll start acting like an AFC to keep her .Hunter83 said:
That doesnt mean anything . All girls from my class give me these signs . But that doesnt mean they are interested . And thats not a problem (previous relationships) . You just gotta make her feel great that she's with you and she's yours. And i dont know , i have fear that your just an emotional tampon to her .Hunter83 said:
Yea probably . I think your just an emotional tampon .Hunter83 said:
I dont know man , its a long ass process to learn how to make her attracted to you but im gonna tell you just one thing . DONT EXPECT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN . Or go there and try to make it happen but if you decide to stick on her be prepared to get silent treatment or flake [talking from experience] .Hunter83 said:
Fish with net NOT with single rod [ as Rollo says on Plates Theory ].
This means dont stick only on her . Game other girls too
so you wont be needy .How you begin with a girl is how you end. Your her friend. Your nice. You sweet. She can talk to you right? Does she kiss you? Do you grab her ass? Do you guys trade sexual banter and go out? No? Then your her friend. You might be able to get some ass off her if you man up. And stay manned up.
A friend of mine had a girl who would always break up with him and come back to him. You know why? Because he was "safe" as she put it. she knew he wouldn't hit her or hurt her or her daughter. He was "nice and safe". So when she would get tired of abusive men, drug dealers, drug users, gangsters...she would run back to her "safe" guy. He's been trying to 'earn' her all these years. She gives him some puss every now and then. She controls the flow of it. Who do you think loves who? Who has the power in that realtionship? Can you peep game in this story? Can you see yourself at all?
A friend of mine had a girl who would always break up with him and come back to him. You know why? Because he was "safe" as she put it. she knew he wouldn't hit her or hurt her or her daughter. He was "nice and safe". So when she would get tired of abusive men, drug dealers, drug users, gangsters...she would run back to her "safe" guy. He's been trying to 'earn' her all these years. She gives him some puss every now and then. She controls the flow of it. Who do you think loves who? Who has the power in that realtionship? Can you peep game in this story? Can you see yourself at all?
I bet that she has had relationships that were bad before the last guy. I also bet that those are the relationships that she always gravitates towards. She will probably walk all over any nice guy and be up the a$$ of a guy who lays back and lets her pursue. You'll just have to be very independent and strong. You cannot depend on her for your happiness and when she sees that you aren't, she'll be all up in your kitchen. Don't be a nice guy. Just don't. Your only job is to attract her. Be attractive by being a man - strong, decisive, independent, fun, and unique.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
ezily
Senior Don Juan
you sound like a "nice guy." Based on what you said she doesn't seem to be into sexually (i.e. dating wise). She just seems like a friend. Remember that girls touch more and hug their friends. They kiss their bfs. Judging from your account, you initiate no kino, no sexual comments, no C&F, basically nothing for her to get the picture that you are interested in her. You've gone on no dates and haven't really done anything she wouldn't do with one of her girl friends.
So basically you're acting like an AFC with this chick. Personally, I think you need to drop this girl (stop being her emotional tampon) and move on. Stop being a AFC. Have you looked at the DJ Bible or some other PU material?
I think you should try and escalate with her though. It will prove that you are her friend. Thus you know what not to do in the future. Look on the bright side though; I could be wrong and if you escalate she will actually like it. But I don't think I'm wrong... but the only way to really find out it to DO SOMETHING. Stop sitting around worrying and thinking. That'll never get you a girl.
So basically you're acting like an AFC with this chick. Personally, I think you need to drop this girl (stop being her emotional tampon) and move on. Stop being a AFC. Have you looked at the DJ Bible or some other PU material?
I think you should try and escalate with her though. It will prove that you are her friend. Thus you know what not to do in the future. Look on the bright side though; I could be wrong and if you escalate she will actually like it. But I don't think I'm wrong... but the only way to really find out it to DO SOMETHING. Stop sitting around worrying and thinking. That'll never get you a girl.
Thanks guys for the warm replies, i expected to be grilled or even flamed for my 'nice guy' posts but was surprised by the warm, welcome you guys extended to me, thanks again.
About her, i really do not know, i do not know how she was ill-treated in the past only that she was ill-treated, but she seems to like intellectual guys and i seem to be on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of grades. I read through the DJ bible, but i just do not get to know really how to express interest in her without acting interested and needy. I seriously think she does not really like me. So far, i only have her instant messenger and email but not her handphone number. I thought by asking for it, it will be too obvious a giveaway i will be interested, guess i was a fool....I have gamed other girls but i do not know about her, the techniques i havve used in the past were with some HB 5-6s, so as to work up my confidence. She is an 8 in my eyes so i guess i have the jitters when with her....
Man i feel like crap....
About her, i really do not know, i do not know how she was ill-treated in the past only that she was ill-treated, but she seems to like intellectual guys and i seem to be on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of grades. I read through the DJ bible, but i just do not get to know really how to express interest in her without acting interested and needy. I seriously think she does not really like me. So far, i only have her instant messenger and email but not her handphone number. I thought by asking for it, it will be too obvious a giveaway i will be interested, guess i was a fool....I have gamed other girls but i do not know about her, the techniques i havve used in the past were with some HB 5-6s, so as to work up my confidence. She is an 8 in my eyes so i guess i have the jitters when with her....
Man i feel like crap....
MacAvoy
Banned
I don't think your in the friend zone like some of the other guys were alluding to. I think your analysis was dead on. So my question to you is why do you want to date someone that is broken (when it comes to dating). She's obviously a great girl, fun, smart, etc... however she's been burnt in relationships and guess what, its going to take her a few years to overcome that.
I'd also be willing to bet dollars to donuts that her next couple of relationships are going to fail in large part because of her past and her inability to open up.
That being said, I'm not going to tell you to run in the other direction. What I will say though, is don't get emotionally attached to this women, don't enter a LTR with her, if you insists on being a slave to her pvssy, then simply hit it & keep her as a FB.
Otherwise your tryin to be CAPTAIN SAV A HO
I'd also be willing to bet dollars to donuts that her next couple of relationships are going to fail in large part because of her past and her inability to open up.
That being said, I'm not going to tell you to run in the other direction. What I will say though, is don't get emotionally attached to this women, don't enter a LTR with her, if you insists on being a slave to her pvssy, then simply hit it & keep her as a FB.
Otherwise your tryin to be CAPTAIN SAV A HO
She broke up with the guy 4 years ago, so i guess she should have stabilised the ship a little, guess not.... Well, i am going slow and easy with her and try some of the stuff in the bible like kino for experimentation. Hope this works out in my favour. In the meantime, i am gaming for other girls to keep my mind off her.Anyway, thanks Macavoy for your support and advice!