weakness and stupidity

[MacAvoy]

Hi all

About 2 months ago, I got sexually involved with my daughter's mother again after about a 2 yr break since any sexual contact. This immediately brought out the weakness and stupidity in me. Over the next couple of months, I asked her to come visit when our daughter came for hopes to continue w/ the sex / intimacy between us.

She invited me to come stay at her house during the March break, after spending the weekend at my place (we live 2 hrs apart). It was during this period that we became more intimate, kissing etc.... I always keep a line between my ONS, and relationship, very rarely these days do I kiss a women. I even went down on her numerous times.

My problem is when we were at her house, the wuss came out. I got weak and said I wanted a relationship, to get back together, yadda yadda yadda. She gave all the signs, but whenever I would bring up the subject she would say no, she's not interested. Now there is other alterior motives why I am serious this time (revolving around my daughter, and her long term well-being). I also have learned that I can have a wife at home and have other ways of meeting other needs. (I don't want or need a moral lesson here, because thats not the advice I'm looking for here).

Any advice on how I should proceed?


HISTORY

My daughter is 7, over the past 4 yrs, we would get together occasionally for sex when it would just happen. Its been about 4 yrs since we actually tried to be in some sort of relationship. Although in the years before when we did try, I was never fully into it, and was either doing it for sex or whatever dumb immature reasons, but telling her I wanted to try. I'm sure you know what I mean.

 

[DoubleA]

Once again it's on...

It sounds like you are being moreso placed at arms distance because to her you're two are better off with the things are now. She can get it when she wants it but not necessarily want to keep you..I think I got that right.

Besides she knows evidently you've taken a sabatical from chasing ass to chase after her..wrong. Take time out but this time do the things you need to do. Get your stuff together and find someone else to occupy your time. Why would she have to get into a relationship with you when she knows you'll break down a try and stab again? Kind of redundant, isn't it?

Plus if you're together then you don't have to pay the child support right??

 

[Desdinova]

Sounds as if you're used to being "wussy" around her. When you've developed certain behavior patters around a specific person, they're hard to break. Parents are a great example. I've known people who have been smoking for years, but still don't want their parents knowing even thought they don't live with them.

I know it's in the interest of your daughter that you'd like to get back with your ex, but she's not going to see that side of it. She either likes the child support payments too much, or she's just not that interested in you (although the sex might be good).

If you're paying her child support, why are you fvcking her?

 

[MacAvoy]

Originally posted by Desdinova

If you're paying her child support, why are you fvcking her?

I have since resolved the situation in my best interests.

My question though, is why wouldn't I fvck her if I'm paying child support?

 

[averagejoe]

Mac. In my opinion you have a very good point with the last comment.

 

[NewMan]

So, you've been fvcking her on and off. You go there for a week after she spent the weekend with you.

Then, you go and forget your DJ's ways - and try and start up a relationship with her.....

That's your problem right there.

Your being way to easy.

Have your cake and eat it.

Your fvcking her, spending the time with her etc. etc. etc. so why worry about the label you put on it right now?

If you practice your DJ principles on her - she will come around - and if she doesn't - your getting some regular a## to boot.

my advice - keep doing what your doing - but knock off the girly "I want to be back together" talk.

That's for women. Your a DJ.