We are not who we are.

[The Antichrist_Star]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
Part of who you are can be found in your desires. But an even greater part can be found in how you handle those desires. That is why parents are parents. They exert control over themselves to best suit the needs of the situation.

Our problem here is that we have two ideas that look almost the same and are easily confused. We have the change we undergo naturally and we have the change we undergo by choice. What is really being said deep down is that we should not try to change by choice because the natural change will fit us best.

What is denoted as "natural" change then? Is that not a matter of choice as well? Change is a matter of choice period... change is not something that just "happens." It is a creation, a shift, a tweak... that is caused by something. That something would be the person that changed it... that person would be you. Moreover, why should we not change by choice, why can we not simply be whoever the hell we want to be.

Lik, I understand that this is your girlfriend and I am sure that you care about her and value her opinion... understandable. But again... she is simply making excuses for settling.

 

[NRM]

Heh, I don't even think we should be discussing changes, it's too complicated to be discussed.

Your girlfriend does not have a point.

Right now you are making the choice between changing and not changing. According to what you're trying to say, both is going against your true self. Change isn't a choice, nor is it controllable. Just because you do something else to yourself doesn't mean you're changing anything, you are still you no matter what. The natural changes in a person, the chosen changes in a person, it makes no difference. As humans, we are meant to change. Whether it is growing bigger, more mature, or growing smarter, less conceited.

I am going to have to disagree with you. We actually ARE who we are. But I don't blame your girlfriend entirely, she said what she believed without thinking it out, and now you're thinking it out too much. It is just a useless point that probably not going to help anybody.

 

[LikRetsam]

Again, I don't care why she said it. Honestly, we all know she was just spitting crap out her ass.

It is just a useless point that probably not going to help anybody. -NRM

Actually it did help me and I'm sure it helped many others. It justified my change. It reinforced my ideas. It gave reason to everything I am doing.

It made me realise why I wanted to change. Not for anyone else but myself. I want to better myself, maybe to stop getting hurt. Probably for that sole reason. The point is, I want to be the best I can be. And to get there, I am making conscious choices. Change is, as you justly put it Matrix, a choice. With me, that choice is conscious. I control where I am going and who I am going to be.

And you're right... Why can't we just be whoever the **** we want to be? We want to control who we are here at this site right? That's why we are here, to steer ourselves in the right direction. We want to take advantage of the limited control we have over this world. And since we live in our world, that just fits perfectly.

You will notice that seldom did I demonstrate my opinion, I'm just giving a certain point of view to help the thought process for each of us. I am not against change. I'm all for it. I am constantly adapting to situations to best handle them. And that makes me happy. Our change, here for most of us if not all, is so we can stop getting hurt. Think about it, why do you want to really change? To be happier... And many people can not cope with that. This method of "escape". I'm not trying to escape. When bad tides come around I'm still around smiling while everyone despairs. I am human, I will get hurt but my changes allow me to better handle what life throws at me. And I am happy.

I was talking to a friend about second chances and she told me that she would forgive but not forget. Why not? Because that's how people are so if they did something once, they will just do it again. Those views sicken me. This whole idea of "You can't change who you are." What the **** is wrong with everybody? Is it laziness that drives them to not want to correct their errors!? Or can they just not see the other side of the fence?

All my friends oppose my views and every time I end the conversation the same way and they have nothing on me:

If you took a math test and got a C. You looked at your test and said "I ****ed up". Next day, they give you the same math test. What do you get?

If people only put 2 squirts of piss into who they were, this world would be a much better place. But some people are okay with not living up to their potential. I am not.