Wasting time?

[Jerry Maguire]

I have a problem to do with wasting time.
I have goals, like getting friends, girls, going to the gym regularly, taking up a couple of sports, reading more, etc. However, I always seem not to try to reach my goals.
This makes me feel rubbish, depressed, and that my day has been wasted.
A lot of this has to do with spending too much time on the internet/tv.
I realise I have procrastination issues, and I've seen a doctor about them, but I was wondering if you guys could help.

How can I get out of this pattern?
Do you feel that you waste a lot of time doing nothing?
What goals do you have that excite you? (None of my goals seem to exicte me enough to get me to do them.)

 

[Visceral]

I have exactly the same problems you do, so trust me when I say don't waste your breath, the most you'll get out of these guys is: "Stop being a pvssy and just do it!"

Do you have self-discipline? If so, rely on that until either you start seeing results or it becomes a habit.

Drop the TV and Internet ... period; get bored as hell until you'd rather do stuff you hate. Also, don't use them, or anything else, as rewards because if you're anything like me, you'll just go without the reward rather than do the work.

Also stop masturbating and looking at porn, forever; those things take the edge off you and keep it off.

 

[whistler]

Ahhhh.


Stop rewarding yourself for procrastinating.

What do you get when you procrastinate? Shame? Yes.

But you also get a sense of security, and maybe more.


The default for humans is to repeat a pattern of behavior. So the key is to set up good patterns and strengthen them. If you reward yourself (somehow--it doesn't really matter as long as you perceive it as a reward), the pattern of repetition will strengthen. Humans respond quite well to behavior modification, but we hate to admit this. Video games are a great example of this. They offer a series of small but inadequate rewards, which helps the pattern continue until you're interrupted.

To break a pattern, try penalizing yourself. You can either remove some kind of pleasantness that would normally come about after you've procrastinated, or you can punish yourself by forcing yourself to do something you hate more than what you're avoiding.

The actual initiation of behaviors is also prompted by being in the same environment that you were in the last time. So go somewhere else.

I'm writing a dissertation. When I find myself consistently procrastinating in one location (my office, the library, a coffee shop), I go somewhere I haven't been in a while. It often works like magic.

Ironically, you can't get out of a procrastination cycle without getting off your a$$ to some extent. That's the way it is. At least you're not starved and beaten in Darfur... (Guilt seems to work too.)

The nice thing is, once you start doing what you need to, the sense of easing shame often serves as a reward. LOL


Edit: I might add that awards are accompanied by a "rush of goodness" in the brain (involving activation of the ventral tegmental dopamine system... for any nerds).

 

[thefonz]

Pretend I'm diablo for a second.....

Just read the bible, if you read it on a regular basis you will find yourself more than motivated to commit to your goals.

 

[Jerry Maguire]

Originally posted by whistler
Ahhhh.


Stop rewarding yourself for procrastinating.

What do you get when you procrastinate? Shame? Yes.

But you also get a sense of security, and maybe more.


The default for humans is to repeat a pattern of behavior. So the key is to set up good patterns and strengthen them. If you reward yourself (somehow--it doesn't really matter as long as you perceive it as a reward), the pattern of repetition will strengthen. Humans respond quite well to behavior modification, but we hate to admit this. Video games are a great example of this. They offer a series of small but inadequate rewards, which helps the pattern continue until you're interrupted.

To break a pattern, try penalizing yourself. You can either remove some kind of pleasantness that would normally come about after you've procrastinated, or you can punish yourself by forcing yourself to do something you hate more than what you're avoiding.

The actual initiation of behaviors is also prompted by being in the same environment that you were in the last time. So go somewhere else.

I'm writing a dissertation. When I find myself consistently procrastinating in one location (my office, the library, a coffee shop), I go somewhere I haven't been in a while. It often works like magic.

Ironically, you can't get out of a procrastination cycle without getting off your a$$ to some extent. That's the way it is. At least you're not starved and beaten in Darfur... (Guilt seems to work too.)

The nice thing is, once you start doing what you need to, the sense of easing shame often serves as a reward. LOL


Edit: I might add that awards are accompanied by a "rush of goodness" in the brain (involving activation of the ventral tegmental dopamine system... for any nerds).

That was awesome, thanks. I'm sure it'll help me.

And yeah, almost everywhere I've posted this has resulted in people telling me to 'just do it' without really understanding my problem.