Was this appropriate?

[Dole]

Ok last time I got laid with my gf was tuesday. Friday I passed out from drinking it was my birthday and i puked so she went home, sunday she was up for it but we didn't have a condom. So tonight I am watching the hockey game with my gf in her bed. What ever shes laying on there i am kissing her blah blah I try to touch her down stairs first shes like i am tired from work ( she uses this line often ). I was like what ever I tryed again later and shes like I dont want to and then I asked her why and she said because I said so. So I told her thats not a reason thats a command shes like I just dont want to right now. So I got pissed off went back to watching the game and she turned around and layed in bed. Then she kept asking me unrelated questions and I was giving her blunt answers ( to see if I am mad ). Then shes like are you mad? I said no I just wanna watch the game, then shes like yah your mad cause were not having sex blah blah. Shes like if your mad and something is bothering you talk to me now, I said nothing was wrong and I am not mad. She just layed there I watched the game for another 5 minutes and just got up and left without saying bye.
Anyways whats my move after this?

 

[Social Calibration]

Your move my friend is to just wait. It's a bit early to tell but this seems like something that's very common and will be over with before you know it.

I see where you're getting at, she punished you so now you're punishing her. Just keep it light and easy, don't take this one too far.

 

[MotownMack]

It's basically a sh1t test.

She was trying to discover if she could manipulate you with sex. Not give it to you, get a reaction, or get you to pay attention to her with the absence of sex.


She refused sex, and you immediately lost interest in her and watched the hockey game. My guess is she was probably pissed that you seemed more interested or distracted by the TV in the first place, and then decided to react this way.

 

[ezily]

well if she was trying to manipulate you she did a good job. She could tell you were mad even if you deny it. And if you really weren't mad she'll still think you were. I would have just let it go and act like it didn't bother you. Thus you will have shown her that she has no power over you. But whatever just let it go for now.

 

[Dole]

She's done this before thats why I left.
Is there a correct approach or strategy for next time she does this?
Who initiate's contact first now?

 

[PectoralisMajor]

you didnt handle this the best, but then neither did she. you both sound quite young.

If she doesnt want to give out, there's a reason, test whatever. I would have called her on the part when you asked why and she said ' because I say so' - this is a line used by kids.

put in this situation, I would have probably said calmly:

her: are you mad?
you: i'm not mad, i'm disappointed we are not able to have sex, because I think your gorgeous, and it hurts me to not be able to cuddle you and show my affections towards you.
you: it makes me sad to think that we can only have sex when you say we can, I think its important in a relationship that both people decide together.

now, if she's not used to you talking to her like an adult, and more used to you shrugging things off that you consider to be out of line, then this sudden change may not work.

I'm afraid women whether they like it, or realize it, all get trained by the partners to understand what is acceptable behavior in relationships and whats not. The same is partly true for the guy - we need to understand what is acceptable behavior to the girl too.

keep learning, its all practice.

R

 

[Dole]

thank you! that was some great advice.

 

[WesCottII]

"I'm tired from work"

"Sh*t, I'd best stop then. . .*sly grin, carry on*

 

[DonGorgon]

Your move is to get another 2 or 3 girls to F so you dont have to rely on a GF who is F'ing other dudes more than she F's you.. its that simple...