Wanting to work things out?

[nubian-knight]

Is it AFC? Im wondering in the case of one of my buddies.

His gf told him it wasnt gona work out because he always yelled at her and she felt unloved. He told her it was her descion and he would give her a leeway period before he moved on and started pursuing other women. The same night they met at a party, she gave him head and the day after that she started calling him "boyfriend" again. He dint acknowledge it but after talking about why he ignored it, all she was talking about was how she wants to be with him n he decided to make it work

at first i thought it was AFC of him to try n pursue her after she dumped him but then i thought about it and i think his strategy was good. i mean he got head the same night it happened and the next day it was almost as if she was begging to get back together n it was HIM who had to make the descion


whats ur take on wen a girl impulsively breaks up with u out of the blue? considering the fact that girls usually say **** purely out of current emotional state, is it AFC to be willing to work things out?

i think my friend played it off well actually

 

[KontrollerX]

No its not AFC if the guy senses his girlfriend is just talking smack about breaking up and then works some magic and has her back with him by the end of the night or whatever.

It only becomes AFC if the girl truly wants to break up and stay broken up and the guy continues to persue and doesn't get the message they are not getting back together when she repeatedly tells him this.

So to further respond to your post a DJ goes for what he wants but knows when to cut his losses.

Your friend wanted her and knew he could get her back with him so he went for what he wanted ie a DJ decision.

And it may be true that he is an assh0le to her by yelling at her or whatever but she stays with him without true change on his part for the better because of her own low self esteem and ego needs, needing his validation of her worth as a person.

In short he wins because he maintains the frame that the relationship will be mostly about what he wants and he is not controlling about it because he says to her if she doesn't like it there is the door.

In one way there is an injustice about all this but in another way there is a fairness about all this as well.

The injustice is the guy will not change to make things easier on her but the fairness is it is her own low self esteem and ego needs that causes her to put up with this and "stand by her" man as it were.

 

[nubian-knight]

thats what i was thinking.......pursuing a fake emotionally driven "breakup" isnt really AFC especially if your getting sucked off by the end of the night

in order to work that magic tho im pretty sure my buddy told her he would try n control yelling at her but couldn't make any promises. furthermore, he told her that if she had one of these impulsive breakups again he dint want to put up with the drama n would be gone for good

but yea i guess my train of thought was right, u bring up good points

at first i was telling him wtf u should have just dropped her when he told me what happened but now im thinking it was well played

 

[DonGorgon]

It will not work cause he is abusive ...