Vulnerability/DHV/SMV

[thelittleprince]

After reading TRM about 20 times there is one thing im waivering on.

I understand fully, everything Rollo writes about and I agree totally.

The one thing im struggling with and cant make my mind up on Vulnerabilty.

Now, im beginning to suspect that the reason I cant seem to shed the desire to want to remain vulnerable is because

A. It releives me of my burden of performance

B. Allows me to hokd on to idelised love

C. And romantic desires, wallowing in a cocoon of soft fluffy feathers as my girlfriend soothes my aching heart

BUT.

Why the **** do women continually ask you how you feel?

Almost to the pount where I end up making up some BS.

 

[flowtheory]

Why the **** do women continually ask you how you feel?

They ask how you feel to gain certainty where they stand with you. They are feeling creatures. Most things women do are because she’s serving herself first. Women become givers and deeply vulnerable when they know it will serve them. It’s biology mostly.

One way to offset that question is to make her feel more, because you telling her your logical thoughts won’t do much for her. It’s appealing to her mind rather than her emotions. It’s best just to have fun with her, lead things sexually, or walk away if she doesn’t do something that aligns with your relationship desires.

By her asking that question in the first place is her way of saying “I don’t feel and I’m uncertain”. But her getting in her head means she’s not fully encompassed in her body and feelings (where she wants to be with her man)

Nothing wrong with being vulnerable man. It’s a necessity in a healthy meaningful relationship. It’s what connects people.
Just don’t talk about your feelings constantly; save that for this board or your guy friends. Instead, live them while leading her in a fun and playful manner which eventually leads to sex.

 

[thelittleprince]

Improper vulnerability is an aching desire for pleasures not rooted in reality.

Would you be able to give an example of that?

I have something I want to share but dont want to prejudice your answer so ill await a reply

 

[sosousage]

tell her that ur doggo died and u want to cry in her arm

wet pu.ssy instant

 

[thelittleprince]

Take vulnerability out of your vocabulary, has nothing to do with anything.

Can you expand on that? I sense what your saying but cant quite articulate

 

[thelittleprince]

The things you mentioned in your first post.

When a woman perceives you as a highly valued "prize", as it is often said here, she will often make you feel in those ways. You don't have to be vulnerable to experience them. They just have to be very deeply into you. It requires them to have an extremely high and unique level of interest that is not very common and is not an easy task for the average guy. It's like a woman stuck deeply in a case of oneitus of her own.

When you say "the burden of performance", what you are fundamentally referring to is the many ways in which a man creates this ability to draw such a high interest level, and because it is not an easy task for anyone, it is far too common for men to wish they could rid themselves of the games entirely, and simply bask in the simplicity of these kinds of bonds and chemistry.

This is the wishful thinking aspect I mentioned previously.

You cannot rest on your laurels in love and war. It is always going to require an effort, the burden of performance as you put it.

But as far as I'm concerned, the feeling of transcending the games comes when you basically master it through a huge swath of multiple experiences with multiple types of women; it is when you hit a point where performance is no longer considered a burden at all, but is simply a natural flow to how you behave and interact with women in general.

This is solid advice. And holds true for other aspects of life. Fake it til you make it type thing.

Thanks

 

[Trump]

Proper vulnerability will always leave an impression of confidence. It will allow you to expose your greatest flaws or weaknesses to a woman without shame, hesitation, insecurity or apology... and a woman will see you as courageous and confident for it.

Sorry brother you are in dream land here.

Vulnerable with a woman will leave an impression of confidence and she will see you as courageous?
A woman doesn’t care about that stuff, a woman uses the information you give her to DESTROY when the time is right, when you are most vulnerable.

I could see just the woman you love in court:

“Yes judge, I know there is 50 million dollars at stake and if I am owed half, but he was so honest and vulnerable and open with me, that my heart has melted and I’m not going to use any of the stuff he told me against him in this proceeding.

Just give the $25,000,000 to his sisters. I will be satisfied with a small small alimony payment each month.”

Rock on!

 

[thelittleprince]

Just to get back to topic - I dont even understand what vulnerability is.

I mean you might feel vulnerable for some reason. But you dont have to.shiw it unless if course shes trying to step over a boundary and you decide to ask her not to do something. Or tell her you dont want or cant do that. Etc etc