"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Voicemail
- Thread starter LeonSK
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
GotED?
Master Don Juan
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For the first date, usually text msg is sufficient. It gives her time to contemplate on it, and you KNOW she's got it in the end. Be specific about what date, time, activity, you want her to join you with. Don't leave it open - women like men with confidence and planning/leadership skills knowing they had thought through things before asking them out.
I would never call on the phone for the first date - especially the younger generation (35 and below - I am old sh!t), talking on the phone is like getting the black plague seems like.
The thing is, if you call on the phone, she has the CHOICE to not pick up the call - this allows her room to play you and game you. WORST thing you can do is leave a voice mail, then the control is in her court. You will be the one ending up becoming AFC if she doesn't respond in the time frame you had hoped. NEVER leave a voice mail... only on your mother's answering machine are you allowed.
After the first date (and it went well, that is) - I would maybe use the phone to keep up the momentum IN BETWEEN the dates if it goes for many days before you see her, to keep her thinking of you but keep the conversation short and sweet. I would use the phone then to ask her on a 2ND date, because you probably want her to factor in making a somewhat joint decision on what that 2nd date looks like and get her input. Most women appreciate that.
Good luck.
Exodus
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
nismo-4
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Women always check their phones. Then know when you've called. They know when you've texted. They hear your voicemails. But if they aren't coming from a guy they want, it's over.
Case closed.