"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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"Virgin by Choice"?

Rebound Material

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This thought came to mind today guys. To start off, ive been on this site for 2 years now and alot of you guys have helped me wise up regarding the game. In these 2 years where ive become more aware with the game, I've detected when chicks were digging me and when they werent. There were about 4-5 chicks that I knew I could have banged in that period of time, yet I STILL HOLD THE V-CARD. As I thought about it even before I discovered this site I could have banged even more chicks(http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=142668). I remember it was about 3 years ago when I put getting laid on the front burner in college. I set my standards so low it was ridiculous:

1) NO relatives.
2) NO jailbait.
3) NO fat chicks.
4) ONLY human beings.
5) ONLY FEMALE human beings.

...yea, I had a good laugh about that with some friends. But yea, with those standards I was able to hook 4 chicks(2 I made out with and THEY wanted to fvck) in that semester alone which was pretty good in my record but I didnt go through with it...I realized that even though I was very down to fcuk and finally turn in the card, I didn't want to lose it to just any ONS or some chick that I wasn't really that into. It made me want to bang my head against the wall at times when I look back because some of them looked really good. Anyways, is this what you call being a Virgin by Choice or am I just being a godamn coward? I remember when some of my close friends lost their v-card. They would all tell me different stories but one thing they all said similar was: I feel like I can do anything right now(raise in confidence), I feel more aware(less naive), I WANT SOME MORE!(sex is addicting)...From then on they all seemed to have grown up in a way. The effects of sex to a former virgin actually made me more curious than the actual sexual experience itself. Anyways before I mindlessly rant on, am I a Virgin by Choice or just being a fcuking b!tch?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SinJester

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I think you should ask yourself that question now us.

It sounds like you were a virgin by choice but now you wish you hadn't made that choice. Would I be correct?
 
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Rebound Material said:
They would all tell me different stories but one thing they all said similar was: I feel like I can do anything right now(raise in confidence), I feel more aware(less naive), I WANT SOME MORE!(sex is addicting)...From then on they all seemed to have grown up in a way. The effects of sex to a former virgin actually made me more curious than the actual sexual experience itself. Anyways before I mindlessly rant on, am I a Virgin by Choice or just being a fcuking b!tch?
No, let's further this discussion. So, you are really saying that people who have lost their v-card are more grown up, and because you haven't lost your v-card, you feel like a child still? Other societies have this concept of rite to passage and teen boys will go to prostitutes to lose their virginity, like in Jamaica and thialand from what I read.

I'd like this discussion to be expanded on this concept, but this may not necessarily be 'good'.
 

Omen

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Some guys/girls wait to find THAT ONE. One they really feel a connection with before they have sex, and that is their choice. They feel like... Man, I want it to be special, and not some one night deal.

Some, are that by choice and it has to do with religion. There are many guys and girls in this boat for that reason. It isn't cause they wouldn't like to have sex with this and that girl, etc, but they stay with the religion deal. I know many who would say... Man i'd so do her and her and her.... But they dont. You would cause your like... Man that would be great, but your morals and religion just dont let you do it. Now they have to be pretty strong, and some quite are.

Each person, for what ever, HAS a reason to stay that way. You just have to realize what YOUR reason is. Maybe you are scared, even with protection, that the first chick you bang will get pregnant. Who knows, but there is something that makes people choose.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

ThunderMaverick

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Luke Skywalker said:
No, let's further this discussion. So, you are really saying that people who have lost their v-card are more grown up, and because you haven't lost your v-card, you feel like a child still?

God, I felt more mature when I DIDN'T lose it.

Vagina drives me crazy sometimes. :crackup:
 

Tear Gas

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your problem is that you want your first time to be some "magical and memorable experience" that's what's making you so picky and passing up on oppurtunities to **** girls. Can't make everything perfect..just **** some girl and you'll realize that it isn't such a big deal. After you lose your virginity, you wont have that inhibition anymore to lay hotties...
 

Enryu

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whats the big thing about sex?
its like sports... you do sports for a time, get all sweaty and hope to god that you dont get anything in your eye.

Especially for boys sex shouldnt be a big thing. Its not like you are going to lose something with sex like your hymen. And you definitely wont grow a beard the instant you put your peni$ in a \/agina
 

TheBaconator

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Plain and simple, you need to take the pu$$y off the pedestal.
 

sosilky

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TheBaconator said:
Plain and simple, you need to take the pu$$y off the pedestal.
cue scene from the fourty year old virgin
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

mr.uk

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i think that deep down you are insecure over it. perhaps you think your **** aint big enough or maybe your scared you wont be very good so it puts you off so to cut the risk you back out! personally i havent gotten laid for ages because my virginity was virtually forced out of me (not rape, just pressure) and every time i get anywhere near i get so anxious that i blow it. im scared of it. crazy what your brain does to you.
i think that you just need to relax..sex is all about fun its NOT a performance based sport..plus if you arent very good your first 1 2 3 10 times it doesnt matter everyone starts at the same stage!
i wish my subconscious would believe what i just wrote!
 

Rebound Material

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mr.uk said:
i think that deep down you are insecure over it. perhaps you think your **** aint big enough or maybe your scared you wont be very good so it puts you off so to cut the risk you back out! personally i havent gotten laid for ages because my virginity was virtually forced out of me (not rape, just pressure) and every time i get anywhere near i get so anxious that i blow it. im scared of it. crazy what your brain does to you.
i think that you just need to relax..sex is all about fun its NOT a performance based sport..plus if you arent very good your first 1 2 3 10 times it doesnt matter everyone starts at the same stage!
i wish my subconscious would believe what i just wrote!
to Bonafide: No, Im not gay.

Anyways, I think I posted it before in another thread but the situation you posted is similar to if not exactly like mine. I guess you can call it performance anxiety. Im 22 and people around this age have been having sex for a while now and treat it like nothing. I seriously envy that. As for my d!ck size, I guess it would be considered normal(not in the porn industry of course) at 5 and a half inches. Someone also posted above that it may be because I want my first time to be a "magical and memorable" experience. I wouldn't go to that extent. In a sense, I want to lose it to a girl that KNOWS that Im a virgin so that she also knows that she's not in for the wildest night of her life. All the times ive gotten into bed with a chick, I never mentioned once that I was a virgin in fear that it might turn them off.
 

Rebound Material

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oh yea, I think I just answered my own question: Im being a little b!tch.
 

The Deacon

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I'm only going to believe that you are an official "virgin by choice" if you're a devout Christian, honestly. Sex is always on the back of anyone's mind, and unless you have a strong devotion to religion, you're going to look for it. Unless you have a big phobia about STDs or something.
 

Jitterbug

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I've heard this:

I realized that even though I was very down to fcuk and finally turn in the card, I didn't want to lose it to just any ONS or some chick that I wasn't really that into.
from many self-confessed virgins-by-choice who use it as a buffer for their fear of rejection.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

DonJuan11

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Rebound Material said:
There were about 4-5 chicks that I knew I could have banged in that period of time, yet I STILL HOLD THE V-CARD.

1) NO relatives.
2) NO jailbait.
3) NO fat chicks.
4) ONLY human beings.
5) ONLY FEMALE human beings.

...yea, I had a good laugh about that with some friends. But yea, with those standards I was able to hook 4 chicks(2 I made out with and THEY wanted to fvck) in that semester alone which was pretty good in my record but I didnt go through with it...I realized that even though I was very down to fcuk and finally turn in the card, I didn't want to lose it to just any ONS or some chick that I wasn't really that into. It made me want to bang my head against the wall at times when I look back because some of them looked really good. Anyways, is this what you call being a Virgin by Choice or am I just being a godamn coward? I remember when some of my close friends lost their v-card. They would all tell me different stories but one thing they all said similar was: I feel like I can do anything right now(raise in confidence), I feel more aware(less naive), I WANT SOME MORE!(sex is addicting)...From then on they all seemed to have grown up in a way. The effects of sex to a former virgin actually made me more curious than the actual sexual experience itself. Anyways before I mindlessly rant on, am I a Virgin by Choice or just being a fcuking b!tch?
IMHO you don't want to give just any girl the satisfaction of taking your virginity. Your ego is pretty high (rightly or wrongly so) and you want the first time to be with a supermodel so you can show to your friends (and other girls) that your standards are ridiculously high; and you that only sleep with girls who are worthy enough of you. If other girls and guys know you are virgin and have had the chance (as you say)to sleep with normal or average looking girls 4 or 5 times, when they find out your first time was with a really hot girl, your stock goes up in front of them. IMHO.

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I heard it through the grapevine!
 
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