Update

[Cancerian]

Its very simple. What you need to do is not call her to socialize at all. Call her, ask her out, when she says yes, say ok, great. I have to get going, I'll see you XXXX, have a good night, bye!

Don't socialize with her at all. Phone is for setting up dates early in the relationship. If you talk on the phone with her, it puts you on the relationship path, you don't want to go on that path, you want to appear to be the busy prize that she has to get you on the relationship path kickin and screamin (even though you really want to be on the relationship path)

I thought that I'd try to increase interest level by calling her, and sound very busy by only being on for a few minutes and then saying I have to go, but I was having a hard time finding an opportunity to end the call without coming off the wrong way.

If she ever wants to go the relationship path, she will have to work for it. A big part of me isn't looking for a LTR right after the last one. I like not having a woman around to nag me all of the time!

Are the "rules" the same for women, regardless of their age?

 

[Cancerian]

You let her postpone a date until January - try to set it up ASAP - you guys are on the phone for two hours - couldn't you just meet for a drink and spend two hours talking face to face?

I would rather talk to her face to face. I have more...power face to face than on the phone. I can articulate things a lot better in person vocally, and with gestures and facial expressions.

I asked her out once, and I don't want to ask her out again until right after New Year's, because I don't want her getting the impression that I am needy or am putting pressure on her.

Hopefully I'll meet some other women tonight, or preferably run into the 23 y.o. and get her number and who knows what else

 

[Cancerian]

I was helping people carry stuff out to their cars today, and I carried a box for her. We wished each other a Merry Xmas, and as she got into a different co-worker's car, she said "Call me!" I blurted out "Will do." She got to see me be C&F as h3ll today as I was in her part of the office for much of it. I had her laughing quite a bit. I'm not sure if or when I should call her now. Either way, once my ex gets the kids later, I'm going to where the 23 y.o. works to see if she is there. If not, I'm hitting a couple of bars tonight.

 

[jonwon]

Cancerian in time you will look back on your posts and wonder what you where doing!

I would love to give you personal upfront tips anbd advice but sadly it is the internet only.

The only one who is doing relationship type behaviours is you, not her!
I wonder why you cant see that?

Look man this is going to end a few ways.

One your a very nice guy, a bit too nice if you get my meaning, i wonder if anyones ever said "your too nice"! i would imagine they would, esp' some girl at some stage. So in that i can see you getting in deep with this situation, so deep in fact your nice guy state wont want to get out! Since you lack the attitude to leave a situation if it is not good for her! You assume this would be nice guy, but in fact it is not nice guy, it is chump behaviour especcially if it is not what you want. You can see an inclin in the phone call convo, so the first way, i can see this truning into you and her BF and GF, 42 year old with 2 kids and you in the thick of it.

The 2nd, you see this for what it is and stop doing BF type behavoiur, develope a clue to stop trying to be the "nice guy" and work on making this chick a FB: This does not mean building attraction over the dam fu**ing phone for an hour +, this means meeting up, getting close, not too close, kino, working the routines, pouring out the **** to get her into bed and then having her come back for more, when ever it suits you. But sadly this is miles away and i mean miles away from your game! as they say.

3. Which i hope is what happens. This women rejects you before you get too deep into this **** and your "nice guy" attitude royally fu**s you over. I am saying this for your own good and maybe in time when you have a hot filly with no kids and a fine tight (read tight) as*, maybe you can reflect on this and see where you 'where' heading.

But sadly your too in the zone, so pointless posting, carry on doing what your doing, since nothing anyone as posted as done a blind bit of sh** for you anyway.

 

[Cancerian]

Cancerian in time you will look back on your posts and wonder what you where doing!

I would love to give you personal upfront tips anbd advice but sadly it is the internet only.

The only one who is doing relationship type behaviours is you, not her!
I wonder why you cant see that?

Look man this is going to end a few ways.

One your a very nice guy, a bit too nice if you get my meaning, i wonder if anyones ever said "your too nice"! i would imagine they would, esp' some girl at some stage. So in that i can see you getting in deep with this situation, so deep in fact your nice guy state wont want to get out! Since you lack the attitude to leave a situation if it is not good for her! You assume this would be nice guy, but in fact it is not nice guy, it is chump behaviour especcially if it is not what you want. You can see an inclin in the phone call convo, so the first way, i can see this truning into you and her BF and GF, 42 year old with 2 kids and you in the thick of it.

The 2nd, you see this for what it is and stop doing BF type behavoiur, develope a clue to stop trying to be the "nice guy" and work on making this chick a FB: This does not mean building attraction over the dam fu**ing phone for an hour +, this means meeting up, getting close, not too close, kino, working the routines, pouring out the **** to get her into bed and then having her come back for more, when ever it suits you. But sadly this is miles away and i mean miles away from your game! as they say.

3. Which i hope is what happens. This women rejects you before you get too deep into this **** and your "nice guy" attitude royally fu**s you over. I am saying this for your own good and maybe in time when you have a hot fully with no kids and a fine tight (read tight) as*, maybe you can reflect on this and see where you 'where' heading.

But sadly your too in the zone, so pointless posting, carry on doing what your doing, since nothing anyone as posted as done a blind bit of sh** for you anyway.

Thank you for your insight.

I am nice guy towards everyone at work and elsewhere, because it gets me a lot of perks. It actually helps me to get my way quite often. As my co-worker put it, "Cancerian, you are a gentleman, but you are ****y and have your limits and you won't take sh1t from anyone. That is a good thing. You are unique." (I could probably bed her, but she isn't my type and I enjoy a platonic friendship with her).

If I was looking for something exclusive though, I wouldn't be scoping out the 23 y.o. (nice body and everything, but also has kids). I realize that a LTR could develope with any woman that I am comfortable around, but believe me, I have my limits to what I am willing to tolerate. The woman that these posts are about said herself during that first long-a$$ phone call, that she isn't sure that she is interested in anything "serious" right now. This is quite fine by me, if she is thinking FB without any talk of commitments and the like.

I realize that much of the advice is from dudes who think that I should be banging as many women as possible. I honestly don't have time for that, having kids and all. 2-3 FBs for now, LTR at some point is fine by me.

Anyway, I seek some analysis. Since she said "Call me", does anyone think that this indicates interest or what?

 

[jonwon]

Thank you for your insight.

I am nice guy towards everyone at work and elsewhere, because it gets me a lot of perks. It actually helps me to get my way quite often. As my co-worker put it, "Cancerian, you are a gentleman, but you are ****y and have your limits and you won't take sh1t from anyone. That is a good thing. You are unique." (I could probably bed her, but she isn't my type and I enjoy a platonic friendship with her).

If I was looking for something exclusive though, I wouldn't be scoping out the 23 y.o. (nice body and everything, but also has kids). I realize that a LTR could develope with any woman that I am comfortable around, but believe me, I have my limits to what I am willing to tolerate. The woman that these posts are about said herself during that first long-a$$ phone call, that she isn't sure that she is interested in anything "serious" right now. This is quite fine by me, if she is thinking FB without any talk of commitments and the like.

I realize that much of the advice is from dudes who think that I should be banging as many women as possible. I honestly don't have time for that, having kids and all. 2-3 FBs for now, LTR at some point is fine by me.

Anyway, I seek some analysis. Since she said "Call me", does anyone think that this indicates interest or what?

yes ofc it does, do you really need to ask the question?

Look man, stop playing this "nice", ****y and funny at work is great i like some of your style posted, but your doing alot of wrong moves here.

Why not just fu@** it get on the phone to her right now and tell her to tuck the kids in as your on your way round to entertain her as only a man can!

Can you do that, like fu** you can!

And why not, the reason why not is you have not progressed it to that yet, actually you have but there are so much other **** going on, to make a phone call like that is out of character! This is where you are failing big time.

 

[Cancerian]

yes ofc it does, do you really need to ask the question?

Look man, stop playing this "nice", ****y and funny at work is great i like some of your style posted, but your doing alot of wrong moves here.

I'm trying to learn. 10 years of nothing but occasional flirting has left it's toll!

Why not just fu@** it get on the phone to her right now and tell her to tuck the kids in as your on your way round to entertain her as only a man can!

Can you do that, like fu** you can!

LOL! Now that would be ****y. She can't "tuck in" two teens.

And why not, the reason why not is you have not progressed it to that yet, actually you have but there are so much other **** going on, to make a phone call like that is out of character! This is where you are failing big time.

Well I was advised to call her for 10 minutes or so, but I stumbled when she dragged the convo out. She seemed to be self-conscious about talking a lot by saying at least twice that she talks too much. In hindsight, I could have turned that into a C&F joke with a slight neg about "my ear being talked off and now I have to look for it."

I plan on going out tonight regardless. I was thinking of calling her and saying something like "Can't talk long, I gotta meet up with some people at (local bar) in a few minutes", but I don't know if I should since I called her last night. I want her to be interested, but I do not want to be too available. The way I look at it, is that I asked her out, she wanted to wait, so now I have plans since I am a man with a life. So the question is when to call her, and what to say I guess.

 

[Cancerian]

bump

Does anyone have any ideas other than "call her and set up a date"? Is calling her and saying "I can't talk long, going out to party" or something like that a good idea? I'm going out in approx. 3 hours.

 

[Charm]

No not a good idea. Dont tell her why you cant talk long.

Call her, tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to make plans. Youre free for lunch on Sunday. Then ask her for her address.

 

[Cancerian]

No not a good idea. Dont tell her why you cant talk long.

Call her, tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to make plans. Youre free for lunch on Sunday. Then ask her for her address.

Even though she said after the holidays? I'm trying to avoid coming off as pushy...

 

[Cancerian]

Well I got her voice mail, and left a brief message.

 

[Cancerian]

I hope that this is coherent, as I drank a few beers tonight...

I just got back from one of the local bars. What a night, let me tell you. The chick that I gave my virginity too was there, which was amazing. The dude that brought her there was an alpha-male type, but I completely took over. I even made the dude give my seat back when I returned from the bathroom. It was hilarious, as this dude is somewhat larger than myself. The chick assured me that we would meet again since she is in town for a few days, but I really don't care, as she is ditzier than I remember her being. The 23 y.o. was there as well, and her "boyfriend" was there. The way she pointed him out was great, as she seemed disappointed like "Yeah, thats my BF overthere". We were in each other's personal space the whole time, while this AFC boyfriend watched helplessly. Her half-sister was there and she was doing kino on me, even though I was interested in the 23 y.o. They claimed this other dude was her boyfriend, but they didn't have much to do with each other. She was claiming to be considering to join the Jehovah's Witnesses, which opened up much opportuntiy for negging, which I did with impunity. I was having the time of my life!

Eventually the "boyfriends" left, which flabbergasted me. At this point, I approached the 23 y.o. and said:

ME: We should all get together and party when (my wingman) gets back in town.
HER: H3ll yeah!
ME: Whats your #?
HER: Its...
ME: Hold on now, let grab my celly...
HER: *giggles*
ME: Ok, shoot!
HER: ***-****
ME: Coolness.

Flirted with them, touched them whenever an opportunity arose. It was great. The chick who took my virginity left with the guy who should've/would've/could've been the alpha male type, because he had a car and brought her. I walked. If I had my car, I could have kept her there and wouyld be getting laid tonight. All well, the other chicks were more interesting anyway, and I definitely laid the ground work. I acted cool, even acknowledged the chumps who were there like I was the sh1t, and they should be happy that I was there. Man, what a night.

I told you guys not to worry that I was posting about one woman! But don't think for a moment that I won't use this night to my advantage with her. SHe didn't return my call. I had a great time without her, and she will find out about it! And I fvcking told you guys that I would get that #!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hit that before she turns into a Jehovah Witness! No car? You should have gave her a pony-back ride to your place and then she would have returned the favor and rided you - wink wink!

Good Job!

 

[Cancerian]

Hit that before she turns into a Jehovah Witness! No car? You should have gave her a pony-back ride to your place and then she would have returned the favor and rided you - wink wink!

If my wingman would have been there, we would have had a car. I knew that I would be having a few beers, and for me, the bar I went to is within walking distance. I am building rapport since I haven't been out as much. I told my ex to expect more weekends with the kids so that I can go out. I live in a small town (10k+ population) so I am taking things slow for now.

Good Job!

Thanks man!

I know that some doubted me, and while I will still pursue the other woman, no one should think that I will not pursue others. It is too much fun! Women are like wine or cigars. Its hard to try just one or two flavors when there are so many!

I forgot to mention that the 23 y.o. hugged me by her own volition. I know that some would say not to read into things like this, but from my experience with this woman, I am doing quite well! Both were initiating kino, and I had no trouble being in their personal zones. It was great! My wingman is excited and should be in town tomorrow or Sunday. I've been keeping him updated via celly about everything that transpired, and if he makes it to town, I'll call the 23 y.o., set up something and mention her sister as well. it shouldn't be hard to ditch the BFs. YES!!!

One "trick" I used is that not only does it help to be sexual and confident, but knowledgable as well. I was negging the one chick about the JW crap while using my knowledge of the "religion", and she kept touching me the whole time! Her sister is hotter though,and a lot more fiesty!

 

[Cancerian]

So earlier today, I get text'd by the woman I asked out:

HER: Hi! Do you know if (co-worker's) phone is on?

ME: Hi! I talked to her yesterday by phone, so she did get it turned back on. She told me that she was trying to get a hold of you.

HER: (here she mentions trying to contact her, and apologizes for not calling me back because she was busy with final setting up of her new place)

ME: No prob! I was busy as well. I had to take care of soem xmas stuff before going out last night. Thats excellent that you got to finish your house!

HER: U went out? Where? Yes I busted my a$$ today i'm paying 4 it. No kids and thats what I fvcking did! what the fvck was I thinking? (at this point, I feel that I got the reaction that I wanted but failed to utilize it by saying something like she should have gone out with me or whatever)

ME: I went out to ______. Was much busier there than last weekend! Are you feeling beat from bustin ass on ur place? I have to do a little cleaning myself in a bit

Then we just have a normal text convo, which is hard since I am not used to all of this trendy texting yet. I did get ideas for if and when we go out, from the convo, for example we both like pool.