"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Update and Back (Long, but need a little help for free date ideas)

The Nice Guy is Gone

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Well, in a recent post, I let y'all know that I put an end to the relationship to the girl I met on halloween. I also stated that there was another girl that I had met. Here's where it seems to be even more complicated, but it's not:

The next week, after I met the other girl, I met yet another one.

Okay, since I let hbhalloween know that I was no longer interested, she is trying real hard to get my attetion to where it was. The thing is, when I make a decision, I stick with it, my decision--not gonna happen.

Girl #2: At first was very aggressive, phone calls, way too many text messages to begin with (now I know how I used to be); she didn't call or text me for two days, so I call her and we have a date set up for Monday night. I need ideas for fun stuff to do for FREE. It's Christmas time, I'm going on vacation next Friday, I have no money--HELP!!

Girl #3: Met her when I went out with some friends. A good femal friend of mine was sitting next to me, and this girl was sitting next to her. It's been a while, so I don't really recall the convo, as much as I knew that I would get her phone number the next time I saw her, knowing that I would see her again. I talked to my friend that night I met #3, and because she was sitting between me and her, she heard everything, and knew that I probably had an interest. When I told her that, she said, "I knew it." Okay, that's enough of that part. These friends are in college, and it came up on night #1 that they didn't have much in their fridge. I had a thought, and went with it. This is my good friend, a friend of hers, and girl#3. I decided to invite them over the next night and cook. We ended up having spaghetti, really easy, and turned out to be okay. The end of the night, when they were leaving (they all rode together, because two of them have cars, but one with a car didn't know where I live), I got her number. I didn't call her, but I met up with some friends on the following night and she happened to be there. I decided to go ahead and call her the next day--and I was at work. It was pretty much a short convo; I found out she was going home for Christmas later that day, asked her when she would be back; she claimed she didn't know, and then I got back to work.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Nice Guy is Gone

Senior Don Juan
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This is an edit to above:

The girl I talked with today: when I suggested hanging out together sometime, she said she was kind of seeing someone. Okay, wtf is kind of seeing someone. Either you are or you're not, sh** test, no doubt. She probably just likes someone, and they're not really together; anyways, so I say, "so you can't have another friend?" It went from there:

hb: maybe
me: how long have you worked here again? (I need work on transitions, I know, but we were both really busy)
hb: # of months or weeks
me: oh, really, I thought it was longer
hb: (she proceeded to tell me where she used to live, that she wants to move, and where she's living now)
me: Well, I'll let you get back to work, I gotta get back there too.

Now, before any of you start harassing me for this one, we work in two completely different sections on two complete opposite sides of the building; nothing bad will happen, regardless.

I'm not sure if she has indicated interest or not today, but throughout the week, when we passed, I made eye contact and smile, and she always smiled back, and even gave me a look-back a couple of times.

Any ideas about this chic?
 

Docs

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Work on your conversation skills. That'd be what I'd call a dead-shift-ditch. You let one topic run out about friends/boyfriends/guys.. (one you shouldn't be on anyways) to work. Unrelated.

For future, say you were on the same topic and she said 'maybe'. Even something like I'm an awesome friend, don't you agree?"

Her - random answer.
You (her - no) - That sucks, you'll miss out...(and lead off to things you like to do...)
You (her - yea) - Do you like to do (something you like...)

Never corner yourself, you got to be smart with your questions and responses so you lose the conversation.
 
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