Up on the pedestal

[soverign]

I got my first number last night. I went to a house party. It was wonderful. I was friendly but not pushy. I was funny, but not crass. I was glib and not fake. We danced salsa in a small room all by ourselves. We danced for two or three songs. When I went to close I didn't ask for her number. No, I remembered advice on this site, and I asked if there was a number I could contact her at. It was beautiful. She gave me her number and I said I would call her for more dancing. She told me she was free every night this week. I played it cool.

As wonderful as all this was I woke up this morning with her in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I started imagining us dating, us being out, us having fun. In short I felt I was putting her up on a pedestal. Putting her out of reach. Now I know if i keep on this train of thought I will surely end anything before it happens. I tried thinking of work, projects, hobbies anything but my mind wanders back to her. How can I stop thinking about her so much? How can I stop putting her on a pedestal?

Soverign

 

[a difficult guy]

If you tried thinking abt something else, work, hobbies and stuff and it didnt work,
I recommend you to take her on a date quite quickly, you met her yesterday right, so wait two more days, call her and ask
her.
Then, on the date, wonder what could her negative traits be, without her noticing obviously, keep doing your game but in the same time, keep considering her in realist mode, this way your brain won't be doing only "whoa !" but also "ah, ok, I see" and furthermore you 'll appear much more detached from the outcome. Then at home, if you noticed any bad things abt her, keep thinking abt those and less abt the good sides, this way you won't fall in love and therefore put her on a pedestal.

I believe we create the feeling of love ourselves, because we want it. Love is not a natural thing imo.

 

[Sweetcheeks]

There are a couple of things you could do...

I agree with "difficult guy" that it would be useful to consider the negatives about her in order to "humanize" her a bit.

However, I would say that emphasizing the negative would dampen your experience.

I would suggest it might be better to think about her more REALISTICALLY in a NEUTRAL way. She probably has an average type of lifestyle, a normal job, eats the same kinds of foods you do, experiences the same types of emotions.

A pretty girls is a female person in a more appealing shell. That's all there is to it.

She might just be putting YOU on a pedestal at the same time you are idolizing her. She doesn't know very much about you, and the reality is that women have very active imaginations. If she likes you, she will likely be working through a number of very provocative and/or romantic situations in her mind right at this very moment.

Something else you might want to consider doing, is interacting with other attractive females. This should help you become more aware that this one girl is not the only person available, and more success will breed confidence in yourself, increase the effectiveness of your interation skills, and generally will reduce the pressure you are experiencing.

Good luck!

 

[soverign]

Thanks for the replys. They are helpful and I will work harder to think of her in a more nutural realistic way. I think to that one of the reasons that I'm so excited about this is that it is my first success after reading this site, and my first success in a very long time.