Unpopular opinion: cold approach is a WASTE of time.

[Millard Fillmore]

Way more difficult in Europe, whatever the country is (UK is an exception I think). Add the language barrier, the conservative mentality, "no" hookup culture. In North America, yo go on a date and if you don't act like a retarded there are pretty good chance that you gonna get laid. In Europe you can date a girl for weeks even months before you can bang her, it's just normal.

Europeans also don't mingle in bars the way they do in the US and Canada. They go in pairs or groups and sit at tables. Approaching is more of a challenge.

 

[DreamAgain]

Europeans also don't mingle in bars the way they do in the US and Canada. They go in pairs or groups and sit at tables. Approaching is more of a challenge.

I found this also to be true during my visits. How do europeans overcome this?

 

[Chowda]

I found this also to be true during my visits. How do europeans overcome this?

Coming from the states, I always befriend the bartenders and staff. They will introduce you to people. My last trip to EU I went to the bar next to my hotel everyday and got them chocolates from Germany. I bought drinks for the entire wait staff and my bill came out to €20 for the 4 drinks I had

 

[Bigpapa]

I found this also to be true during my visits. How do europeans overcome this?

By selecting the right places, or flirting from distance

It is a must knowing which are the trendy places for the crowd you are targeting

 

[nicksaiz65]

The context of that video is that the daygamer in Dallas is a novice daygamer. For a novice daygamer, it's a so-so approach.

I've never believed in the running from behind a woman, going in front of her, and then delivering the opener tactic like the guy does at 14:35 and with his other Katy Trail approaches. It is a more cringy way to approach in general.

I agree with @mikedee that any number he got during his Dallas daygame session will likely end up as a flake.

The primary value of linking that video is to show that this novice cold approacher actually chose some good, targeted areas of Dallas for doing approaches. In the entirety of that video, he approached at the Katy Trail, Klyde Warren Park, Griggs Park, and on random side streets of Uptown Dallas. Katy Trail has a lot of foot traffic for unmarried people in their 20s/30s. Klyde Warren Park and Griggs Park are both urban parks near Downtown Dallas where a lot of the nearby residents are unmarried. Uptown/Downtown Dallas are areas with a high concentration of unmarried people, so approaching on a side residential street near apartments and townhomes is not a bad plan.

My point is that even with choosing solid venues for approaching AND having solid approach tactics, approaching strangers is often very inefficient and doesn't deliver fantastic results.

I have done daygame approach sessions at Katy Trail for 2 hours on a weekend afternoon and come away with nothing to show for it. Unlike that novice daygamer, I am a daygamer with 10+ years experience doing daygame and sometimes I still walk away from a Katy session with nothing. Katy has the best and most targeted foot traffic of any outdoor venue in Dallas. I have also daygamed at Klyde Warren and Griggs too, though less frequently than Katy.

Also, Dallas is a very competitive market in general.

+1 on not running up from behind like on the video. I think the most important thing is, you just don’t approach from behind, getting in front of her first.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I consider cold approaching to be weird and anti-social. When I was single I used IOI and “walking through open doors” approach. If I were single these days I’d do that.

Generally speaking, it a man doesn’t get IOI’s, something is amiss. I also don’t think “game” is required.

 

[Sinn]

I consider cold approaching to be weird and anti-social. When I was single I used IOI and “walking through open doors” approach. If I were single these days I’d do that.

Generally speaking, it a man doesn’t get IOI’s, something is amiss. I also don’t think “game” is required.

Pray tell how you don't think game is required? Its fundamental knowledge to be applied for success.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Pray tell how you don't think game is required? Its fundamental knowledge to be applied for success.

I’ve been with an OK amount of women. I don’t think I gamed them. Perhaps I did without considering what I did to be game.

 

[CornbreadFed]

After getting cold approached today, I will double down on my opinion. Unless I am in an environment that cold approaching is common or welcomed, I am not ready to be cold approached in other situations.

 

[Sinn]

After getting cold approached today, I will double down on my opinion. Unless I am in an environment that cold approaching is common or welcomed, I am not ready to be cold approached in other situations.

That is the point about cold approach. You have to be socially aware of when and when not to approach.

 

[Ricky]

I will sit down and read this whole thread but initial thoughts/contributions

Cold approach builds social skills and it can be synergistic with other methods of meeting women. The same skills you build meeting women in person can help any online and texting applications. Its also damn fun to be social and meet new people. Hell i've met tons of great women and also made new guy friends from going out to bars and cold approaching women.

Multiple times in my life i've moved to new cities where i knew noone initially. If i limited myself to going out with new co-workers or online game it wouldn't have led me to some of the funnest experiences of my life. I've learned about places in cities that even the locals didn't know.

Life is about exploration. Someone said life is about the books you read and the people you meet. It's sad that alot of people don't make an effort to do either (read books or meet people).

 

[characternote]

Pray tell how you don't think game is required? Its fundamental knowledge to be applied for success.

it's kinda the most irrelevant part. The benchmark is to basically not be a complete oddball weirdo who can't make eye contact or keep a convo going for 6 seconds. Maybe peoples social skills have deteriorated so much since the smartphone and stuff that people now think it's 'game' if you you hold eye contact and they need to be 'taught' basic things that all normal people just do.

It's mostly just a marketing concept designed to take naive mens money lol. Not one PUA expert is out there getting results that surprise anyone or that would be considered extremely unusual. And they all get rejected a hell of a lot still, despite their 'advanced game' and techniques etc. In my body and location, I'm confident nobody gets amazingly better results than me for example.

There's never been infields where a PUA is regularly turning 'nos' into 'yes''s due to his 'game'. She basically decides within half a second and from that point, it's more or less set in stone. It's a numbers game. For EVERYONE! The concepts are basically either pure bro-science OR, as mentioned earlier, it's literally stuff any normal 12 year old already does and knows!

I’ve been with an OK amount of women. I don’t think I gamed them. Perhaps I did without considering what I did to be game.

Basically this. I've had my fair share at this point. I've also been a full on PUA nerd at times and have read and watched studied and tried basically every PUA concept you can think of. I have many lays and many more rejections. At times I'd convince myself it was the amazing opener and pushpull line or the NLP verbals or some other cringy stuff, but as time has gone on (not to mention talking to girls in the morning after sex to pick their brains etc) i'm convinced that each lay wasn't really down to anything special I did (I was just her type and so it was 'on' from the second I said 'hi'), and each rejection was complete out of my control and that there was nothing to learn from them other than I simply wasn't her type. And the same applies for PUA experts and coaches etc. It's clear if you watch enough infields. THey're playing the same 'numbers game' as everyone else!!

 

[Fruitbat]

Cold approach works in Sales, which is where most of the techniques came from. Not everyone is good at Sales, so why should they be any good at cold approach in seduction?

I’ve been in sales my whole life and what I’d always say about both cold approach and sales is that it’s easier when it’s just a normal conversation and not a formatted plan.

Loads of people fail at sales as they think it’s a hunt, that you’re putting one over on your mark and you have to win a battle of wills.

It’s not. What you do is screen potential clients to see what they want and need. You then use your knowledge and understanding to see if what you’re selling helps them. You just go and have a chat, if you can’t help them, you move on.

I was unwittingly “cold approaching” my whole life when I wasn’t in an LTR. Girl at the bus stop? Chat her up. Waiting in line? Make a joke with her. This was just what life is if you’re a pro-social guy with a wee bit of charm.
Sometimes the words come, sometimes they don’t. This way, it seems conversational, it seems normal. You get an idea within about 10 seconds if they’re interested in you. If they don’t seem like they want to speak then move on.

Spending time to walk around shopping centres alone randomly walking up to women and creeping them out with your rehearsed lines is sad AF. It has a bit of Elliot Rodger about it, not really understanding the human dynamics of how humans meet and dance the dance of interaction.

If you’re monumentally buff and wealthy looking you might do OK as most women will have seen you long before you saw them and were hoping you would talk. For the 99% then you have to make it seem low key.

Time spent on “cold approach” could be much better spent moving towards being that guy. Spend a Saturday and Sunday working on yourself and the women come. They select you remember.

men want numbers, women want quality. Quality women generally don’t want guys who chase them down the street with thirst. You have to be subtle and make it a “chance” encounter. Too much risk cold approaching to come off like an incel wandering the barren wastelands of pvssy desperately looking for a home for their erection.

As a young man I put all my effort into DJing and earning and this got me more than 100 days wandering malls. I had a life

 

[DonJuanjr]

i'm convinced that each lay wasn't really down to anything special I did (I was just her type and so it was 'on' from the second I said 'hi'), and each rejection was complete out of my control and that there was nothing to learn from them other than I simply wasn't her type

Maybe unlearning is the final step.

 

[SW15]

Quality women generally don’t want guys who chase them down the street with thirst. You have to be subtle and make it a “chance” encounter.

It is possible to do outdoor approach on streets, walking/hiking paths, and at parks and make it look natural, even if you're doing an approach session.

The biggest key is to make eye contact initially and approach them in a way while facing them. Never approach from a behind starting position.

Even when you're doing more subtle approaches that look more natural, there's still a low conversion rate in setting first dates or instantaneous dates.

 

[Chowda]

I will sit down and read this whole thread but initial thoughts/contributions
Life is about exploration. Someone said life is about the books you read and the people you meet. It's sad that alot of people don't make an effort to do either (read books or meet people).

Life is a journey of experiences. If you don’t try to be approachable and social, you are missing out on a big part of it

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It is possible to do outdoor approach on streets, walking/hiking paths, and at parks and make it look natural, even if you're doing an approach session.

I meet a lot of women that way, but Amsterdam is very conducive to walking around and seeing the sights.

Even when you're doing more subtle approaches that look more natural, there's still a low conversion rate in setting first dates or instantaneous dates.

I rarely go for instaneous dates, but about 1 in 3 women I meet are up for evening drinks.

 

[Chowda]

I’ve been in sales my whole life and what I’d always say about both cold approach and sales is that it’s easier when it’s just a normal conversation and not a formatted plan.

Loads of people fail at sales as they think it’s a hunt, that you’re putting one over on your mark and you have to win a battle of wills.

It’s not. What you do is screen potential clients to see what they want and need. You then use your knowledge and understanding to see if what you’re selling helps them. You just go and have a chat, if you can’t help them, you move on.

I was unwittingly “cold approaching” my whole life when I wasn’t in an LTR. Girl at the bus stop? Chat her up. Waiting in line? Make a joke with her. This was just what life is if you’re a pro-social guy with a wee bit of charm.
Sometimes the words come, sometimes they don’t. This way, it seems conversational, it seems normal. You get an idea within about 10 seconds if they’re interested in you. If they don’t seem like they want to speak then move on.

Spending time to walk around shopping centres alone randomly walking up to women and creeping them out with your rehearsed lines is sad AF. It has a bit of Elliot Rodger about it, not really understanding the human dynamics of how humans meet and dance the dance of interaction.

If you’re monumentally buff and wealthy looking you might do OK as most women will have seen you long before you saw them and were hoping you would talk. For the 99% then you have to make it seem low key.

Time spent on “cold approach” could be much better spent moving towards being that guy. Spend a Saturday and Sunday working on yourself and the women come. They select you remember.

men want numbers, women want quality. Quality women generally don’t want guys who chase them down the street with thirst. You have to be subtle and make it a “chance” encounter. Too much risk cold approaching to come off like an incel wandering the barren wastelands of pvssy desperately looking for a home for their erection.

As a young man I put all my effort into DJing and earning and this got me more than 100 days wandering malls. I had a life

I’ve been in sales ever since college, my accounts now are the top 4 in their industry. People think sales is about cold calling, thats for the entry level folks or those that never made a career in sales.

It’s about building relationships and being someone that people want to be around and know you. What you bring to the table both professionally and personally.

This applies to a dating, it’s not a numbers game at all. It’s how you let others perceive you and pick the opportunities you want to pursue

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This applies to a dating, it’s not a numbers game at all. It’s how you let others perceive you and pick the opportunities you want to pursue

Exactly. If you have a solid reputation, you will easily find opportunities in your social circles.

 

[SW15]

I meet a lot of women that way, but Amsterdam is very conducive to walking around and seeing the sights.

That's true about Amsterdam. European metropolitan areas in general are better for outdoor game than most United States metropolitan areas.

In the United States, some of the older cities like New York City, Boston, and Chicago are better for outdoor game, particularly regular street game due to increased foot traffic.

Cities that grew after World War II and/or the automobile becoming popular are weaker for outdoor game in general. Cities that would fit this description would be Dallas, Denver, Houston, and Phoenix, though these aren't the only cities that fit the description.

Dallas has 2 outdoor walking paths that are acceptable for approaching, and a few parks near Downtown/Uptown that are acceptable for approaching. Even with that, approaching in those locations in Dallas doesn't compare well to the pedestrian foot traffic on city streets in New York City or London.

On Dallas' paths, most women are exercising and wearing earbuds, trying to discourage approaches. Dogs are also a factor here. Dogs can help with approaching to some extent but they can also hinder an approach. It's my preference to approach someone without a dog present as I think they have the potential to have more free time for an extended, 5-10 minute conversation that can result in a first date being arranged.

I rarely go for instaneous dates, but about 1 in 3 women I meet are up for evening drinks.

An instantaneous date is a rare outcome of an outdoor daygame approach. I've had it happen before but I will rarely push for it.

Same evening drinks would be a good outcome of a daygame approach.