unique situation

[rollthedice]

hi all. stumbled across this board while looking for some advice so I guess I'll give it a shot. I'm a 28 yr old married man. My wife and I do not have a traditional relationship. She is bisexual and we have been living the "swinger" lifestyle for several years now. We've done it all 3somes,4somes,orgies,sex parties, you name it.Most of the time we meet people through the internet or at various "lifestyle" clubs and parties in our area. Most of our meetings are of a very casual nature. Alot of the times we have sex with numerous people in one night without ever knowing their names!!
Recently our relationship took a little twist. My wife's best friend,a very attractive single woman,approached us and voiced her desire to have a sexual relationship. This friend is aware of our lifestyle and has experimented with bisexuality in the past. MY wife and I were weary at first because she is a very good friend and most of the people we've "played" with have been total strangers- no emotional strings attached just pure sex. After talking about it we decided to go for it. We are both physically attracted to her and decided it could be a wonderful experience we shouldn't pass up.
We met with her several times in social settings- bars, parties- and the flirting betweeen all of us got pretty hot at times- kissing, touching, etc. She would constantly tell us how attracted she was to us and the things she wanted.
We all ended up going to a holiday party at a resort where we were all spending the night in several large condo rooms. My wife and I were prepared for this to be the night we would have her. One problem, my wife ended up getting hammered and passing out very early. After my wife passed out her friend started coming on to me pretty hardcore. Lots of kissing and touching. She would grab my hands and put them on her breasts and ass while pressing her body on mine all the while rubbing my chest and arms and telling me how hot she thought I was.At the end of the night I helped her to bed and she asked me to stay with her. I obliged and layed down next to her. She began taking my shirt off . Right after that we were interrupted by someone coming in the room and we never got back to business. I ended up tucking her in and sleeping on the couch alone.
The next weekend we were all together again at her house. We were all drinking and it was very late. Everyone else had left and it was just the three of us. We had amazing, hot passionate sex. It was awesome. It was very different than all our other casual encounters. It was way hotter.
Here's the dilemma: my wife and her have talked about our encounter on several occassions since it ocurred. In talking she has said that she desires a sexual relationship with only my wife and not me. She says I'm handsome and attractive but that she does not desire me in a sexual manner. What the F---? We all still go out together and she still flirts with me and gives off all the telltale body language signals that she is sexually attracted to me but whenever she talks to my wife about our "relationship" she says she doesn't want me. I don't get it. I'm getting alot of mixed messages here that are confusing me. Do you thinks she's playing me? Do you think maybe she is attracted to me but is weirded out by the fact that I'm her best friend's husband? My wife agrees that she is still signaling that she is attracted to me yet saying something different.
As the title says this is a unique situation. Any input anyone has on why this girl might be doing this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

[Chief]

Guilt

My thoughts are that she does want you...but feels guilty about it. Pay attention to her actions, not what she says. I think that even more she wants only you. She feels guilty about it and wants to convince your wife otherwise. Thats why she told your wife that she doesn't want you but her actions show the truth.

 

[NewMan]

Or....

Quote:

my wife and her have talked about our encounter on several occassions since it ocurred. In talking she has said that she desires a sexual relationship with only my wife and not me.


.....

So you have not been involved in these conversations?

Are you sure that is the case - the fact that she isn't interested in you - or perhaps is your wife saying that because she has some kind of problem with it?

.....

The reason I say this, is because from personal experience (although it never got to outright fvcking) - it ruined my relationship with my GF and her relationship with her friend (although, funny enough I'm still friends with her friend).

My thought are - never bring a friend - or someone that is going to be around you both for the forseable future into this relationship.... there is only one possibility - and that is for problems.....

......

Something else to think about as well...

Quote
*****
She would constantly tell us how attracted she was to us and the things she wanted.
*****

Initially she verbalised to you that she was attracted to you.... but has not verbalised that she is now unattracted to you.... a little weird I would say.

2 possibilities here...

1) Both women played to to some degree. only wanting a relationship between themselves (or perhaps that was your wifes GF's plan).

2) Your wife is BSing you.


Only you can make that call. But from what you've told me - I'd say the woman dig's you as much or more than your wife.