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Turning a NO into a YES

Glassguy

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You argue yet validate my point. By stating high physical attraction can be lowered demonstrates there is more to the table than looks alone. You can for example demonstrate low status in your sub-commuications and that physical attraction that was just right there evaporates in a blink.

Further, you state the girl had low interest before the meet and that’s why this happened. How could she have low IL if she never met him?? LOL

Glassguy, you do go out on OLD dates, right? If you do, you will certainly understand that most people are very different in person than what you envision via their OLD profile.

There is no “game” until the meet. Period.
1.) I wasnt arguing.
2.) I never said that there isn't much more than just looks. Search my threads. I say quite the opposite. Anyone with abundance is going to screen much deeper than one without.
3.) Interest starts with attraction. Period. Please prove me wrong. She had seen him....correct? It takes a woman merely seconds based on LOOKS to decide her initial interest/attraction level. That needle can be moved up or down based on what happens next.

You just proved that point using OLD as your example. OLD is all attraction based on looks. That's why looks get you in the door.

Low/mild interest early on equals she doesnt find you that attractive. Apparently was the case with OP since she had to be persuaded to see him. I dont see the need to spend resources (time and money) to further validate that for her. I'm not her type? No problem. I'm dust in the wind. That's my outlook.

4.) I dont do OLD anymore. I am spinning too many plates as it and I dont have time to be fvcking with what is primarily low caliber women. I do much better IRL where I know what they really look like and how they act, personality etc.

I dont have time to go see a woman who has put on 40 lbs since her OLD pics or has the personality of a rock, or worse, she's entitled. I avoid the pitfalls of OLD and hammer away in real life interactions to potentially add to or replace my existing plates.
 

guru1000

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Your pics <> Your looks

If it did, all pics, on let’s say photofeeler, would rate the same. Yet the same guy could post one pic rated at 3.0 and another pic rated at 9.0. Same guy, different pics.

Your OLD profile <> You

That’s a huge error in thinking.

For the girl to know her attraction, she has to meet him in person.
 

oldmanofthesea

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4.) I dont do OLD anymore. I am spinning too many plates as it and I dont have time to be fvcking with what is primarily low caliber women. I do much better IRL where I know what they really look like and how they act, personality etc.
Glassguy, I've been curious where you are finding all your plates. We are around the same age - too old for the club scene. I too have been off OLD. Is it 100% from cold approach on the street? I was doing better with that in warmer months but in the winter it's been tough.
 

Glassguy

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Glassguy, I've been curious where you are finding all your plates. We are around the same age - too old for the club scene. I too have been off OLD. Is it 100% from cold approach on the street? I was doing better with that in warmer months but in the winter it's been tough.
Social circles. I also get quite a few women who I have a lot of mutual friends with who add me on fb where messaging starts as well, which is an extension of those same said social circles.
I'm not one to go out with the intention of cold approaching. If the situation presents itself I will certainly approach but I do it as it comes. I wouldn't go out with the sole attempt of getting numbers.

I agree on the bar scene. I go out occasionally with friends but the focus is on hanging out and having fun. I'm not into the college bars rather the cool pubs that people in their mid 20s and up frequent.

Hobbies are also great in meeting women. I spend a decent amount of time on my boat in the summer. It's an EASY way to get chicks interested. We have fun out on my boat and they want to be a part of it.
I play a ton of golf. Youd be surprised how many good looking women are picking up the sport.

Above all it's the relationships that I build from my hobbies that creates a stronger social circle. If I take some friends out on my boat, and a buddy takes his gf or plate, the next time her attractive friend wants to go because it's a good time. Whalla. She goes the next time and I may be interested in her. Stuff like that. I tend to have different social circles at different times of the year based on what I'm involved with and weather related.

IMO social circles are becoming the lost form of meeting women. OLD is for lazy and fvcked up women for the most part. You'll find that many very attractive and single women will never be found on OLD. Want to know why? They dont have to. They get out and meet people in a natural environment with no pressure of "finding someone". That's my type of environment.
 

shouldbefun

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Because he is an honest sleazeball looking for a fwb? Lol. Not much of this thread makes sense other than OP apparently did what he wanted?

And the fact OP drove that far.....as did she. ..means she isnt even that close in proximity.

Idk....not my style of game and I know my results. If I was out for 5 hrs with a chick on a first date, the last 3 hrs would have been spent fvcking.

Some people thought Big Neil was alpha and he literally paid chicks just to be around them with sex not even being on the table . Just goes to show you some people have a totally different mindset when it comes to women.

As far as intent, as Guru likes to talk about, it's all in my intent and if she is interested she will enter my frame.

I wasnt knocking OP but I think the outcome of this thread could've been predicted from the beginning. If he is happy spending time and money on a chick that has a bf AND is ONLY looking for a potential LTR (seems contradictory to me) so be it. Not my style. I'm not about wasting time as my free time is scarce enough as it is.

The dynamics of this totally forecasted the result:

1. Said she had a bf
2. He had to take her into meeting up
3. He agreed to be friends to get her out
4. No sex happened
5. She claims to be looking for something serious (yet she has a bf?).

Totally weird.
He could have played it differently.

Took her out for some fun activities together. They vibe, they talk, agree on stuff. Maybe teased the hell out of her, "what do you want ? A relationship, oh yeah I want one too. Pause. Actually I lied but so what haha". He could have qualified the heck out of her, or role playing her as his girlfriend or even use the deep eye contact as well, kino from the start, hugging at the end and kissing her even if he got denied.

Is that a possible scenario or totally out of the movies ?
 

Dash Riprock

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Because he is an honest sleazeball looking for a fwb?
So I'm a sleazeball because I asked her out on a date to have fun (which we had)--which I clearly communicated to her in advance --and to see if she might be worthy of a STR or FWB (which in this case, she wasn't)?

Ok...

What if she was up for a NSA, FWB-type relationship? I wouldn't care about her boyfriend. F him. Many woman are today, so the odds are good. I would have never known if I didn't actually meet her and have a chance to interact and learn more about her. It just turned out she's a marriage - LTR girl. Not what I'm looking for or want to put the time investment into. No hard feelings, we both had fun, next batter up.
 
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Glassguy

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So I'm a sleazeball because I asked her out on a date to have fun (which we had)--which I clearly communicated to her in advance --and to see if she might be worthy of a STR or FWB (which in this case, she wasn't)?

Ok...

What if she was up for a NSA, FWB-type relationship? I wouldn't care about her boyfriend. F him. Many woman are today, so the odds are good. I would have never known if I didn't actually meet her and have a chance to interact and learn more about her. It just turned out she's a marriage - LTR girl. Not what I'm looking for or want to put the time investment into. No hard feelings, we both had fun, next batter up.
No. As men we should all have some sleazeball in us if we are spinning plates. Or we should anyways.
You took my post out of context.
 

Spaz

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Looks like there's 2 school of thoughts here.

I'm basically in a similar mould as glassguy and wouldn't waste time turning a no into a yes from OP's original context.

No offence to you Dash, it's just different styles that's suited to my personality.

I look at things differently and am more result oriented then most which is why I would've have dismissed her instead of turning it around.
 

guru1000

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I’m with Dash in playing with words entirely. His and Her words were just that ... words, and Dash showed some social intelligence by looking beyond them. Though, I say this for general discussion and want to qualify this general point further now that the discussion has ended. I disagree with two things that Dash did.

1) When she asked what he what he was looking for and he said nothing serious.

Many Women do not want to be used like rubber band and thrown away, or even as a FB in such an open delineation. Even many FBs would like to hear it may turn into something more down the road. They feel a sense of violation both within themselves and within society (ASD). By being so open as to your intent of FB, you are arresting her ego. Especially given she had a bf, she was relationship-minded, so it was apparent that any answer that went against that mindset would not assuage her ASD concerns.

Now this does not mean that some girls are not dtf only, but rather on a larger scale by playing the numbers, most aren’t in such an open fashion, so the answer to her question of his intent should be more refined to assuage her ego in consideration of the above.

It benefits their ego and themselves to play pretenses even while they very well understand the sub-context.

2)I don’t do chicks with bfs/husbands.
It’s just bad business, akin to entering a business deal and hurting a client long term, but not short-. Not my style nor desire/intent, and nothing I want to surround myself with especially considering there are thousands of hot women who are single.

Even though others will enable such situations with,” if I don’t, someone else will,” I won’t enable such a context.

Ultimately my grander purpose is give this world much more than I have taken (and I have taken much without regard for others), and this specific dynamic does not fit into this ideology.
 
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Spaz

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I’m with Dash in playing with words entirely. His and Her words were just that ... words, and Dash showed some social intelligence by looking beyond them. Though, I say this for general discussion and want to qualify this general point further now that the discussion has ended. I disagree with two things that Dash did.

1) When she asked what he what he was looking for and he said nothing serious.

Many Women do not want to be used like rubber band and thrown away, or even as a FB in such an open delineation. Even many FBs would like to hear it may turn into something more down the road. They feel a sense of violation both within themselves and within society (ASD). By being so open as to your intent of FB, you are arresting her ego. Especially given she had a bf, she was relationship-minded, so it was apparent that any answer that went against that mindset would not assuage her ASD concerns.

Now this does not mean that some girls are not dtf only, but rather on a larger scale by playing the numbers, most aren’t in such an open fashion, so the answer to her question of his intent should be more refined to assuage her ego in consideration of the above.

It benefits their ego and themselves to play pretenses even while they very well understand the sub-context.

2)I don’t do chicks with bfs/husbands.
It’s just bad business, akin to entering a business deal and hurting a client long term, but not short-. Not my style nor desire/intent, and nothing I want to surround myself with especially considering there are thousands of hot women who are single.

Even though others will enable such situations with,” if I don’t, someone else will,” I won’t enable such a context.

Ultimately my grander purpose is give this world much more than I have taken (and I have taken much without regard for others), and this specific dynamic does not fit into this ideology.
No. 1, yes.

No. 2, yes.

If i were in OP's shoe's then it's from no.2 that I would have dismissed her.

She made a choice and I became 2nd fiddle, a backup or something which isn't a place a man should put himself in.

That would place myself within her frame as I would be playing catch up to another man's standard molding myself to suit her/boyfriend's dynamics trying to supersede the other man.

I'd prefer my own mold as it's my natural mold and women must find that attractive enough from the get go to be able to enter it's frame.

Again, this is my style and how I operate as it's suited to my personality.

And yes towards Dash's social intelligence, I rather liked the way he brought up the business part, that is smooth.
 
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