"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trying to breathe some life into my Facebook

Falcon

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Lately I've been really making an effort to take Facebook/social media more seriously and already I'm seeing some of the benefits of doing so... This post is more about general social proof, which may or may not translate to success with the ladies.

I've run into the challenge where even though I have a bunch of my friends and college friends on my Facebook, my profile seems to be lifeless. By lifeless, I mean that I am the only one putting effort into putting stuff on there. It goes a bit further than that.

Disclaimer: Please no smart alec comments about why not to use Facebook or Facebook sucks or "this is why I don't use Facebook" etc. I've already made a decision to use Facebook and recognize it's value. I'm asking about how to better use Facebook, not whether I want to use it or not. If you don't have anything constructive to say about it then it's better to save your effort and not waste time.

I'm the only one who seems to be adding people and sending friend requests. I always get accepted, but I'm wondering why I'm the only one initiating. Of course, I know hot girls always have requests coming in and everything and I don't expect it to be at that level, but I'm wondering how I can develop a more welcoming profile where people want to add me and so it isn't one-sided. What kind of vibe do I need to be giving in real life? or online? It's perplexing... For instance, the girl I last boned really likes me and is kind of attached. Yet she never added me on Facebook, I waited two weeks and requested to add her and she happily accepted. I don't understand how people who even like me a lot rarely initiate the friend request when they know I have Facebook.

Another issue, people rarely ever take pictures of me, and if they do, they never make the effort to tag me, so I usually have to somehow find them and tag myself. A lot of times it's hard to find them, and if I do, I have to initiate everything once again. My profile is 90% pictures I had to take or ask someone to take with my camera (or taken by family). Meanwhile, I notice there are some people who wherever they go or do, someone is taking pictures for them and tagging them. They could be taking a **** and someone is still getting a picture of them and uploading it. It's unreal. Their profile is full of life and people are constantly commenting on stuff. Not sure what they do that differently, whatever it is, I don't see it. I know in real life they don't go around asking people to take pictures of them... It just happens spontaneously.

About me: I'm a fairly attractive guy. A lot of girls say I look young and cute. Slim but work out, more cut than big. Slightly taller than average. I have no problem getting girls, it's just that I never feel like I am "in" the social circle if you know what I mean. I'm not the life of the party but I usually contribute more than take from it. I'm pretty laid back and sociable so I don't know why this is harder than it seems it should be. I am not that photogenic but it's something I'm working on. I recently moved so I've been really focusing on just expanding my social circle since I don't know many people around here.

So aside from people looking at my actual profile, does anyone have any general advice as to how to make some progress here regarding Facebook? What vibe should I be giving out? What gets people to want to take pictures with you? etc.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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CostaDeSol

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i also have issues with this. but not always, i think its because i'm stuck in a social rut


I think it has to do with your life outside of facebook. When i was being tagged in photos it was often done by friends who I was close to and were very social with each other. They were happy to be my friend and wanted to share that with the world. I think we were all just having a good time, and we were close.

Nowadays, my posts only get comments if they are a "big deal". If i post up an article or video that it is a hundred more times interesting then some $hitty pic some semi-cute girl posts, which post do you think gets all the attention? not mine.

but my posts will get attention when they either involve other facebook friends, or if something big happens to me. the other day i got in a car crash and put the picture on my profile. A ton of people responded to it, yet it still barely hit a similar amount of likes and comments of some $hitty pic some semi-cute girl posts.


I really do think it has to do with your life outside of Facebook. If you are involved in activities that engage other people, those people will want to engage with you online.
 

CostaDeSol

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Falcon said:
it's just that I never feel like I am "in" the social circle if you know what I mean. I'm not the life of the party but I usually contribute more than take from it.
Don't try to revolve around the social circle, try to make the social circle revolve around you. People once described me as the most social guy they knew. All I really did was host events for what ever the group wanted to do. It got people to go to my place and spend a lot of time with me.

Falcon said:
I am not that photogenic
practice smiling on your own. Its going to be a forced smile, but eventually it will come natural. And practice smiling with everybody, till it becomes a habit.

Falcon said:
What vibe should I be giving out? What gets people to want to take pictures with you? etc.
That you have a fun life outside of Facebook.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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