True Romance = Wavelength

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

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Great, thoughtful responses being made.

What I'll say is,

It depends on what you're looking for.

Shout-out to the late, great Alan Roger Currie.

He made the distinction between sexual, and non-sexual relationships (or both combined).

If you're looking for a long-term relationship (monogamy, marriage), then the two of you need to have both sexual and non-sexual (SNS) chemistry.

A healthy, long-term relationship demands that there is compatibility in both SNS departments.

Neither one is more important than the other.

However, if you're a man living a bachelor life, and you aren't looking for long-term, monogamous commitments, then non-sexual chemistry shouldn't be valued less.

Sexual chemistry should be valued more.
.....

If you are a bachelor, and want to have sex with a woman...then any non-sexual chemistry with her is pointless.

Such information, regardless of what it is, doesn't correlate with your sexual desires.

And there lies the problem.

The woman will make non-sexual chemistry a point of emphasis, and since you're such a beta, you wind up following her program instead of having her follow yours.

You're following the woman's lead.

If you're following her lead now, you'll be following it later.

And that's how they get you...early, and subtle.

 

[Prepostereax]

How many times have you seen a hot woman walking around looking for attention and looking needy, or a fit guy walking around seeking validation? It happens all the time.

Both of these people are caught up in “attraction.” It’s like gold trying to become more goldish.

Attraction is just 1/3 of the equation. You also need a purpose in life, hobbies, a personality, and your own energetic blueprint. Only then can an attractive person find chemistry.

Interesting observation.
This is why hitting on girls at the gym doesn't work. It's just pure attraction.
Guys can find something in common to connect there (and women bond together over fashion & make-up) but I've never known any couples who "met at the gym".

But romantic chemistry? Who can explain why I suddenly feel a "pull" towards one man and no "pull" towards another equal in looks and style? Often times I have felt a pull towards the less physically attractive man!

This can happen without speaking one word to each other.... before discovering whether we have anything in common or not..

This is something else.. that 0.5 second "love at first sight" that usually occurs when your eyes first connect.
It's extremely rare!
I've only experienced it a handful of times
..and each time was with a cluster-B..
{This is not because cluster-B's have this ability to connect, but more because something within my psyche is drawn to them. And maybe something in me reciprocates to them.
Other people may be attracted to more balanced individuals.
I believe Jung had some explanation for why this is, ie anima/animus}

Now, if it happens, I see it as a "danger" sign.

attraction can disappear once more information is revealed.

I'd say this happens when the brain fills in missing details before facts are known.
This builds up the "romance", fuelled by initial attraction, but when reality clashes, then attraction is lost.

 

[tksniper]

Interesting observation.
This is why hitting on girls at the gym doesn't work. It's just pure attraction.
Guys can find something in common to connect there (and women bond together over fashion & make-up) but I've never known any couples who "met at the gym".


This is something else.. that 0.5 second "love at first sight" that usually occurs when your eyes first connect.
It's extremely rare!
I've only experienced it a handful of times
..and each time was with a cluster-B..
{This is not because cluster-B's have this ability to connect, but more because something within my psyche is drawn to them. And maybe something in me reciprocates to them.
Other people may be attracted to more balanced individuals.
I believe Jung had some explanation for why this is, ie anima/animus}

Now, if it happens, I see it as a "danger" sign.


I'd say this happens when the brain fills in missing details before facts are known.
This builds up the "romance", fuelled by initial attraction, but when reality clashes, then attraction is lost.

Alcohol use is just a sign you are looking for a connection. People go to bars and get more and more drunk because there’s no connection. If you had simple connection in your life, the thought of going out to the bars and clubs to drink wouldn’t even cross your mind.

The world needs more connection, not attraction. Case in point, all the attractive people in the gym who have plans to go bar hopping afterwards looking for connection. Those people are already attractive. Why are they still seeking?

Its because they have no connection and serendipity in their lives. Almost everything you do in life that is bad for you comes from an innate need for more connection.

We live in an unconnected world. So be the change. Create more connections in your daily lives. Instead of just trying to create more attraction with women (how could your genetics have survived millions of years of evolution if you weren’t attractive to someone?), create more connections.

Even people in the stone ages knew this truth. If you were unconnected, you’d be extinguished from your tribe and your genes would never reproduce.

Back in the stone ages, if you gave anyone a bad vibe, that could mean your death. But in 2025, we all focus on being more attractive while giving bad vibes to everyone around us.

We all think attraction is king, fvck having a good personality. Nay. Back in the olden times, your a$$ would have been weeded out of existence if you didn’t uplift, motivate, and inspire your tribe.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

Alcohol use is just a sign you are looking for a connection. People go to bars and get more and more drunk because there’s no connection. If you had simple connection in your life, the thought of going out to the bars and clubs to drink wouldn’t even cross your mind.

I agree with this, mostly. Getting my beer buzz on and then going out and socializing was my number one thing to do, until last May, when I stopped getting drunk. But for me, and maybe I'm an isolated case, but it put me "in the zone" for socializing. Great socialization (lame word) is fostered through GREAT RECEPTIVITY. What is receptivity? It's the capacity to LISTEN while inhibiting all internal (and external) reactions, UNTIL the time to react has come, then acting with unadulterated conviction and precision that cuts through the sound or silence like a hot knife through butter. Now I can do this sober, and at will, so what's the point of the buzz?

EDIT: We just might have to meet up sometime for a chat if we're ever in the same city. Soon, I suspect, I will have my rights to travel freely.

 

[tksniper]

I agree with this, mostly. Getting my beer buzz on and then going out and socializing was my number one thing to do, until last May, when I stopped getting drunk. But for me, and maybe I'm an isolated case, but it put me "in the zone" for socializing. Great socialization (lame word) is fostered through GREAT RECEPTIVITY. What is receptivity? It's the capacity to LISTEN while inhibiting all internal (and external) reactions, UNTIL the time to react has come, then acting with unadulterated conviction and precision that cuts through the sound or silence like a hot knife through butter. Now I can do this sober, and at will, so what's the point of the buzz?

Most drug use is just our way of trying to connect with the world. Even world famous celebrities and models are prone to this. They feel like they are disconnected to the world so they overcompensate through drug use.

But I would say, don’t look at it as a bad thing. It’s just your soul signal to you that you aren’t connected enough with life and the universe. This urge is real and has a purpose. It’s just that humans have found shortcuts through alcohol and drugs.

The urge to connect to universal oneness is real. It is an urge that cannot be suppressed. And it’s an urge that would drive an addicted person to rehab or worse.

Have you ever noticed that most people who have no addictions have alot of connection in their lives? And the people who are addicted to something seem to have zero connection to anyone?

You were BORN with an urge to connect to universal oneness. You were born to be ADDICTED to universal oneness. Because it is your true nature.

But humans have found a “workaround” or “shortcut” through drugs. Meth heads and heroin addicts can describe universal oneness better than most spiritual teachers and Buddhist monks.

Your yearning and addiction is real. How you go about it is up to you.

That’s why I preach connection, chemistry, commonalities, and wavelength. We humans have everything we need in each other. The MAGIC isn’t in the magic mushrooms. The magic is in the humans.

 

[Dr. Whiskers]

The thing with my life, @tksniper, is I have been FORBIDDEN from having A LOT of connections that I've sought out, and others would have been receptive to my invitations too, or those who saw me, were intrigued and would have opened me -- IF the enemy didn't dictate to them that they are not allowed to associate with me. I've spend about 20 years in a room, in solitude by myself. But if you want to destroy a Kingdom before it's established, you slander the king so everyone alienates and shuns him, putting him in isolate or solitary confinement. Then he can't can rise up and save and uplift them. Then the tyrants moves in and steals their freedom, peace and resources.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@tksniper "Yet women would come out in droves and claim they are attracted to “dad bods.”

In other news, folks SAY they love freedom yet turn out in the millions to vote for candidates who promise to "save" us all, by increasing the state's stranglehold on our daily lives

Nothing anyone says means much of anything, in and of itself