Trouble Starting. Plz help

[The Exile]

I've been on SoSuave for a couple of monthes, and have become better. However, there is one major problem- I have trouble approaching people.

Say a group of people are playing dominos and cards, which usually happens around the tables in my school. It feels awkward just to go up and say "hi" or something. This dosen't only apply to lunch times, but also to classrooms, malls, and i.e. everything.

Obviously, if we're sharing something, like both looking at the same thing, or studying the same material, there could be comments or questions that could lead to a conversation, but usually dosen't lead to much with me.

So my question is, how do you approach and be accepted in a group or even a single person that isn't directly involved in anything you are?

 

[Benwin]

If I were to approach that domino game, I would just say, "who's winning?" or "who is the best player here?" then that would start a discussion and you go from there. I used to think it was hard to start conversations, now its easy. Just keep trying and with experience you will become good at it. Good Luck.

 

[Trance]

1st days
- You feel tense, cant aproach, have fear to seem ridiculous, and you actually dont aproach.

Next days
- You are ****ing yourself for not having aproached that girl you saw.. Next time you're gona do it. So now you feel you can aproach, but you are expecting a good moment, and sudenly you miss the chance. You go home again thinking you were a dumbass

Next days
- Now you actually started aproaching regularly, but you still suck sometimes and dont look confident enough. Probably not many # close,s but now you feel better with yourself, and you wanna do more!

After a while
- Feel relaxed, you're having fun aproaching
- Big smile
- A coment about what they are doing, if possible an unusual/funny one.
- Eye contact

Now you're making aproaches all the time, even in situations with lots of ppl around and in some unexpected place. You feel confident with yourself, you game improved, you make spontaneous funny talk and make them interested in you. You have them, and you date a lot.

- You are a DJ

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Most times you approach peopel will give you a strange look but you get used to it real quick. It makes me smile to myself whenever it happens. It's not that people do it on purpose, it is just human nature to question the new person.

I'd say the key to getting into a group setting is timing. If you cut someone off during your entrance into the convo, you will be starting on a bad note. Instead wait for a lull in the conversation and try and ask an open-ended question which everyone can answer.

Everyone plays cards where I am too so a good thing to do is just look at someone's hand and start to talk to them Ie: "Damn you keep getting good hands!" or "hey I'm new to the game, so can you tell me why you led with an Ace?"

A good idea for you is to converse more in depth with everyone you meet. For me when I first tried to come out of my anti-social shell, I realized that I had trouble holding conversation with family members so I started to talk to them and try and keep conversation going. Try and revive dead convo's and keep things fresh

 

[The Exile]

amen to that