Trouble Conversing

[MikeAndIke]

I have noticed that my conversation skills are not as great as they should be. I am not horrible, but at times I notice that I blow myself out of the conversation by trying to be too witty/cool. I usually make the mistake of saying a statement that wont yield a response from her. I was at a bar two nights ago near this HB 7.5, saw an opener and took it. I assume I got her interest because she was responding well, but the exchange didnt really last long. I said something that pretty much cut the convo. Its hard to explain, but thats the jist of it. Am I in my head too much? Any advice on how to extend convo or any advice in general would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[New_Age_Prodigy]

One way you can remedy something like this, is to just strike up random conversations as much as possible to increase your comfort level. That way it will become second nature to you, instead of you consciously having to try and maintain the conversation.

Another method is to have material already prepared for such situations, so that you do not stall in the middle of an interesting conversation.

Just my two cent.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Talk about anything, get more alcohol in you if it helps you loosen up. You don't have to talk about really important things. Just casual conversation about what the girl does, who she came with, whether she is having a good time, etc, all should bring up topics for you to talk about. Ask her about her life if she talks about her job, make a joke about one of your friends you came with if you're talking about that. If something funny happened to you at the bar that night tell her about it to make her laugh.

If you have her interest level but are starting to run out of conversation, LEAVE THE CONVERSATION. If you leave with the interest level up and run into her again later, there is a good chance she'll want to meet up another time or even that night. Tell her you have to go find your buddies or whatever and that it was nice talking to her and then go somewhere else. She'll wonder why you left which is good and the next time you run into her she'll be excited to continue getting to know you.

 

[New_Age_Prodigy]

Talk about anything, get more alcohol in you if it helps you loosen up. You don't have to talk about really important things. Just casual conversation about what the girl does, who she came with, whether she is having a good time, etc, all should bring up topics for you to talk about. Ask her about her life if she talks about her job, make a joke about one of your friends you came with if you're talking about that. If something funny happened to you at the bar that night tell her about it to make her laugh.

If you have her interest level but are starting to run out of conversation, LEAVE THE CONVERSATION. If you leave with the interest level up and run into her again later, there is a good chance she'll want to meet up another time or even that night. Tell her you have to go find your buddies or whatever and that it was nice talking to her and then go somewhere else. She'll wonder why you left which is good and the next time you run into her she'll be excited to continue getting to know you.

+1

Great Stuff MrNiceGuy

 

[MikeAndIke]

Im smart enough to eject when things are dying out. But thats my problem. I seem to not have control at times. I dont wants things to really die out quickly. I just dont want to asking all the questions like if it were an interogation. Thanks for the advice so far. Keep em comin!

 

[crossedup]

You know, this sounds a lot like me. I'm guessing you're typically pretty calm, not super nervous or anything (most of the time). You just run out of things to talk about, or the right thing doesn't come to your head at the right time. Sometime you just brain fart and are left with nothing to say. Before, this used to be an issue for me and it made things a little awkward, and I could see her interest disappearing before my very eyes. Now, whenever I have a moment like that, and they are rare now, I just tell her that my friends are calling me. Or another thing you can do is just pull her to the bar, grab her hand, whatever. Something that doesn't involve so much talk. Leading and actions are so gold when you have nothing good to say. I'm not much of a talker, never have been, things that rile most people up don't excite me, I would much rather be doing something productive or moving around rather than chatting up some girl, and it can hurt conversations cuz I'm seriously just bored myself. You may be the same way.

Do something, anything! Doing nothing is the worst thing you could do.