Trouble APPROACHING people.. especially girls

[PhX]

Hey guys,
I seem to have the opposite of what i've been reading on here. Basically I suck at approaching people.. more specifically - girls. For the actual conversation I am typically good with that and can hold a somewhat interesting conversation with someone ONCE IT IS STARTED.

But I can never just go up to a girl and just start talking to her. Maybe if I had something to talk about.. like a good opener than I would. This is especially true on girls I am interested/attracted too but have never talked to in my life.

I realize I am losing out on so many opportunities because of this and it is killing me.. so i need your guys' help.

If you want an example to start me off.. here it is:

There is a girl in one of my classes. She is typically quiet in that class (i dont think many of her friends are in the class) but I know she of course has friends outside of that. She plays varsity basketball. She is pretty damn hot and I like her style. Now what the hell can I say to her to actually develop a relationship with her (friend based/whatever).

I dont know why but the scariest thing to me is approaching people that i dont normally talk too. I need some major help on this so please help me out. Just some tips on overcoming this problem and some tips/openers on what i can do with the example i provided (which is true by the way).

Thank you!

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

READ ME

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Read the bible son.

 

[.illadelph]

word, there are many articles on the issue. my problem is that i see other guys as barriers to the girl i want to talk to. if she's alone, i find very little difficulty in approaching her and chatting her up, but it's very hard for me when another guy is talking with her. It ticks me off that i just stand there, without looking her in the eyes, just avoiding eye contact. if a guy is present, it's hard for me to initiate conversation. especially when the girl is shy herself, cos i know damn well she's afraid to talk to me. i hate that, it makes me think like i dont' wanna be around girls like that.

 

[08aisaac]

Read Weapons of mass seduction, by senor fingers.

It's one of the best, if not the best, articles in the bible.

I read it everynow and then. and it gives me a boost like none other.

 

[Phat]

Once u start talking to girls.. it become easy..its like the first time u face ur fear of being shy u feeeell soooo goood about ur self.. trust me.. First time i made an approach on a girl i was just like. F - IT u only live once why not.. but i was thinking to my self this (Who cares what she thinks.. who cares what everyone thinks..) because some guys problem is they have that problem of being afraid what a girl will think about you. But heres the good part..If u do it confidenty then ur all good.. cause she will see ur a confident guy and u dont give a **** what anyone thinks.

 

[PhX]

well i could easily talk to a girl if i had something to talk about.. what do you guys talk about when you FIRST approach her?

 

[Phat]

hmm... Just keep practicing. ur never gonna know or learn how to talk to girls if u dont ever even approach them. see my man.. u have to actually approach them and by doing this alot you will eventually learn how to talk to them.. it comes to you naturally..

 

[GateKeeper]

Dear PhX:
No, forget the "dear"

I was like you for about 4 months when I was isolated from all human contact for an long period of time, but that's another story. How do you become silent and akward into approachable and aproaching?

Today I was with some friends, and I felt like meeting some new people. These friends I were with happened to be white and have some kind of wierd fear of black and mexicans (they are punkrockers, if that means anything) me, I've known many mexicans so I was comfortable with that. What I didnt have, was an existing knowledge of the group of mexicans sitting there.

My stupid immature friend was like, "Dude! Like, like DUde! Like, I .... I daaare you, to like, like, you know, like talk to those mexicans. hahahaha!" I shrugged and nodded my head and sat down next to them. Without an invite.


Imagine you and your friends were just chilling and some guy came out of NOWHERE sat down next to you, and started talking.

Withing 5 minutes it was like I had known these people for years.

How do you reproduce those results for yourself?????

Alot of practice, alot. Alot of akward silences where you bombed. Alot of extremely ... maybe over the top outgoing behaivor.

*flashback* Hi, I'm gate keeper and I have a big ****, who are you?" *flashback*

Practice Practiice Prrraaaccctiiiccee

Peace & God Bless
& Good Luck