Tried too too hard to fclose? next move?

[martini17]

Not sure if I've pushed her too fast so I'm seeking for some advice on what to do next.

Backstory: I've known this girl for a little over a year, we've hung out a few times but lost contact for a while. I just recently got back in touch with her. Been texting back and forth for about a month and asked her over for dinner. She flaked the first time but showed up the second.

12/19/2011 - First "Date"

She arrived around 7 in a cute short dress and high heeled boots with a bottle of chianti. I gave her a quick kiss at the door and then led her up the stairs. I was wearing a Santa hat and gave her a pair of antlers which she kept on until the movie started. Poured a glass a wine for both of us and we talked as I finished cooking.

We moved to the living room where we ate and watched a classic Disney movie (no she isn't 13, it just allowed us to chat since both of us had seen it before). Mostly talked during the movie and steadily increased kino and started making out. I broke off the kissing every time with each make-out session lasting a bit longer than the last time.

The movie concluded and she said she had to work tommorow but I convinced her to stay a bit and check out an old embarrassing video of me downstairs on my computer. She lied facedown on the bed and watched the video and after it finished I rolled her over and we began making out heavily. We dry-humped (lame i know), she opened her legs to let me rub her crotch (seriously wet) and I sucked on her tits (good size and shape for a small girl). During all this she kept saying she needed to go home and didn't put out on the first date so eventually she got up to leave and gathered her things, including the antlers.

At the door I pushed her against the wall and we made out some more. Things started Escalating again as she lifted up her leg and let me start fingering her before stoping me then basically running out the door and saying that she would text me the next day.

12/20/2011 - "Day after"

I didn't get any text but I got a alert from facebook telling me she tagged me in a photo. This wasn't a recent pic, it was a trip we took with some friends over a year ago. I called her later that night, no answer, so I left a msg saying, "I had fun last night, fly safe tommorow, dueces." Also texted right after calling, "I want my antlers back! Check VM" She never txted/called back.

12/21/2011 - What to do now?

She's on the plane atm so I'm trying to figure out what's my next move. I feel I was too aggressive and I pushed her past her Comfort zone. Also I acted needy while trying fclose (telling her I liked her, trying to convince her to stay the night and all that other AFC ****, I lost my focus on the game once my **** became involved).

I'm thinking I'll give her space to hang out with her friends and family on vacation and hit her up when she gets back middle of January. Her birthday is in a couple weeks though, should I send her a birthday greeting? Or did I **** it up... let me know what you think.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She has a dude and she felt guilty. She obviously wanted to do something hence her making out with you and letting you finger her. You did what any sane man would do because of the time constraints of her leaving.

What you need to do is stop contacting her. You contacted her last so let her contact you before you communicate with her again. If she doesn't then just charge her to the game. You didn't do anything wrong.

 

[st_99]

Everything was just fine until the "day after". Forget about the need
to follow up with calls and then a text right after bullsh*t. You're killing her
day dreaming about you. Just stop.


Once you get sexual a normal girl will pullback 99% of the time, then you just let her
ease back in, which she will, if she likes you.

 

[martini17]

Thanks for the quick replys. PrettyBoyAJ she told me she hasn't been with anyone since April. Also in a previous conversation she said she had a couple bad relationships in the last year and isn't looking to get involved. But I think you're right about cutting off contact.
st_99 you hit the nail on the head. I tried to be the nice guy the day after. May have put myself straight into LJBF.

If she never re-initiates should I just call it a loss? Or should I just wait some amount of time before getting in touch again?

 

[st_99]

If she never re-initiates

she will. but you can't worry about it, just convince yourself you're
banging 10 other girls. Thats the mindset you need to be in.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Good escalation, but you did go a little faster towards the end. But before I get into that, I will say that you need to back up off her overall. Let her call you at this point. You shouldn't have. called or left that message. Don't talk to her until she talks to you. You seem desperate. If I see it, she probably can see it as well.

Now on to the escalating. I try to make them want more. In saying that, I mean, I try to make them forget about resistance and get them to think about more pleasure. So massaging in the right places is important. Think about right before the climax of sex. You want to finish so bad. Same thing here. So take it slow and you should be all good.

 

[martini17]

Thanks for the tips on how to escalate Diaforetikos. Looking back now the call + txt do look desperate. Might of blown this one but will take it slower with the next one.