Too Idealistic...

[donjuan matteo]

Well guys, I been living with my girl for many years now, and she is basically pushing the marriage issue big time these days. I won't marry her, because while I love her, and I get sex whenever I want, I'm not *in love* with her anymore.

Now you guys tell me if I'm a superficial bastard m'fer because I want to seduce a new, hotter, younger chick to be with for the next 5 years, maybe marry this time who knows...but I am always scared that I won't be attracted to the chick as time goes on and I'll want to bang a newer hotter chick.

I'm in my mid late 20's, and while I have few problems DJ'ing, I'm really picky, and only banged a few chicks in my lifetime, so sometimes I feel like I need to get sex from a bigger variety of chicks. I also expect near perfection (physical and mental) from the girl I'm with, which makes it tough to just sleep around. (not really into that anyway, one becomes what one does)

What also makes it tough to leave my current girl is she is an HB 9 to everyone that meets her and they tell me "dude you are ****in crazy marry that girl" but I'm just *not that into her* anymore.

what the hell is wrong with me, and am I doing the right thing to break up with her and go for some younger new p*ssy? Or should I do the right thing and marry my girl? (a bird in the hand?)

 

[RiceHapa888]

true dat- from my view its biological- you've spent the time nature has alloted to you with her- all those years basically to have a child and raise it- well now since you are feeling these urgings think about what it would be like to marry her.. I was with a girl for 3 years and it was nice...but sexually I got REAL bored..it sucked and when that happens maybe it is time to move onto something else. what you should do is spend some time away from her..a month or even 2 weeks- after that period of time you will then be able to make a good decision.

 

[ogre]

you are a spoiled rotten punk. you have no idea how lucky you have it. I only wish I had your problem.

however, for what it's worth, I can offer you only some ideas as I don't have personal experience to back it up.

If you dump her, you will regret it forever.

If you marry her, she will transform, like jekyl and hyde, and you'll regret it forever. (see: www.nomarriage.com)

truly a dilemma!

So.... the real question is... do you want children? if yes, then get married. if no, then what's the point?

if you are expecting a woman to make you happy, you will never be happy. Same is true for a woman expecting that from a man. not gawnna happen. Happiness comes from within. Get religion. Find God. Find Jesus, Find Buddha, Krishna, Allah, whatever floats yer boat. But you'll never find happiness in a bytch.

Otherwise you'll just keep doing stupid and pointless things to hurt each other and screw up your life.

 

[donjuan matteo]

that's interesting I never though of our time spent together as biological...where'd you get that info from? Is it human nature or something for a male to feel compelled to leave after rasing a kid?

I don't want rugrats, that is for sure

 

[comote]

Matteo, I understand your dilemna, I have been there as well. If it were me(and I have been there) it would be time for me to make a decision. Either it is time for you to to move on to the next step or it is time to break it off. Make the decision and live with it.
If you don't see yourself with her forever than you have been with her long enough to know that it is not going to change. My mom(I know, but hear me out) used to give me the advice, sh!t only gets worse after marriage, if you ain't feeling her now you will not be feeling her in the future.

 

[NewMan]

I've been there.

Background.

I was with a super hottie - 9+ with an awesome personality.

-

I regret it to a certain degree - but I also accept the fact that I had no choice but to move on - for the exact same reasons as you. Wanting to experience different poon.


Now, you have the same thoughts as I.

But there are a couple of things you also need to remember (experience has taught me this).

1) ALL women get boring after a while. Even this new chick will get old. You WILL repeat this cycle.

2) The grass is not always greener.

3) It's in your nature to want to move on and fvck other chicks.


Now, the real chicker in all of this is - more than lickely after you've dumped her, you will again be attracted to her (want what you can't have deal).

But over all, you need to do what you need to do. Just relaize what youre giving up - and remeber the reasons you moved on.

 

[donjuan matteo]

yeah, good advice, you guys are right...this is a really tough decision here.

Every time I've broken up with her in the past, I'd get back together with her within 2 weeks cause I'd be feeling lonely/questioning my decision, and she would go out of her way to dress so goddamn hot.

I'm feeling like I need I need a few prospects first before I actually break it off...I'm the kind of guy who just can't deal with being single without having dates lines up. I love being single but hate being dateless...

 

[MoveYourAss...]

"Beeing in love" will always pass after a few month (approx. 3). You can revoke this feeling by pausing, as you did by breaking and getting back together. Same thing happened to me.
To lift this to the level of "real love", not "beeing in love", I guess you have to be a rather stable, mature and happy person yourself first.

Since I kind of know the situation you describe (on my path to DJdome now), could it be that you have low self-esteem/social shyness and low sense of direction in your life in general ?

I can only tell you that in my case I lost (few years ago, broke up myself) a long term relationship with a loving, top lady wanting family and stuff (still friends who meet occasionally, no onitis, amazingly no sexual attraction), which I gained mainly by luck and chance, but this gave me the chance to become the person I want to be. I wasn't ready for this stuff and would probably not have become a happy person just continuing. But maybe there is a way to do this.

But I have to warn you: There could be a hard time in front of you. But you found a place for information/help already, thats a point of advantage.

You COULD start and learn to DJ while beeing with her, but 1) this could be disrespectful (depneds on your relationship) and 2)
could hold you back since there is no real need to do so.

Find out what you want.
All the best

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

edited to clarify the "love" point