First day of school was not what I expected. I tried to follow the Tim Flawless Natural Method and i tried to pump myself up but I still had approach anxiety. My goal was to talk to some really hot girls(the popular ones) which is not what i would usually do. So I was at lunch with friends of mine and I tried to approach with normal hey watsup im jamal and they responded well but then I didnt know what eles to say...so i ended it. They made weird faces while smiling and I felt like ****. I was at a lunch table with hot girls and since i screwed up I didnt talk for the rest of the period and I was considered low value. I reallly want to bounce back and do better because I want to hangout with them cause they are hot...Im having a tough time continuing the conversation and I know peoples advice is "say wateva" but i realize its harder said than done. Right now I just need help and some motivation for tomorrow cause i dont know what I am going to do.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Today approach girls...Feel like crap...BAD
- Thread starter Jamal
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You have to allow your natural curiosities of others fuel your ability to come up with social material, and the only way to do that is to not have any emotional baggage. Eliminate that self-defeatist mindset and fight the negativism. Negativism is the unconstructive criticism we encounter through our day to day lives. Only after you eliminate the negativism from your mind are you clear-headed enough to allow yourself to BE yourself. Being yourself is simply having a conversation WITHOUT THINKING of what others think of you. It is being completely unaware of the self-conscious mindset. Instead of focusing on what you look like, how you sound, how you're doing, you allow your mind to be curious about your SURROUNDINGS. The key thing is to be OUT instead of IN. I hope you see the truth in what I'm saying, as it was life-altering advice for myself.
Well I approach a lot so I'm going to try and help you. Good way to get over AA IS just to keep approaching and approaching. This means approaching sets you're not comfortable with. Another bad thing, you're too reactive, which will kill you. Who the f*ck cares if they made weird faces? That could've been for one of thousands of reasons. And even if they were creeped out? Who gives a f*ck, you win some you lose some, you know. I can assure you that even if you're freaking Mystery, you won't get interest 100% of the time. It's just a fact, no matter how good you are, some sets will go bad and you can't worry about it.
And stop worrying about "High value", "low value" "interest" blah blah blah. These are just terms. Just interact with the girls. If you have something to say, by all means SAY IT. Don't worry or give a crap how they react. And the reason say "whatever" probably isn't working for you is probably because you're not confident and also because, you're more worried about what to say than just socializing.
When I go up to girls, I don't even use lines, I just go up there and naturally vibe and talk to them. What do I open with? "Hey" then maybe "What are your names?" that's all. And most of the time when I have a conversation with a girl, I just asks questions and make statements inbetween and stuff, maybe tell the girls a little bit about myself. From this, I've gotten numbers and have gotten girls interested in hanging out.
And stop worrying about "High value", "low value" "interest" blah blah blah. These are just terms. Just interact with the girls. If you have something to say, by all means SAY IT. Don't worry or give a crap how they react. And the reason say "whatever" probably isn't working for you is probably because you're not confident and also because, you're more worried about what to say than just socializing.
When I go up to girls, I don't even use lines, I just go up there and naturally vibe and talk to them. What do I open with? "Hey" then maybe "What are your names?" that's all. And most of the time when I have a conversation with a girl, I just asks questions and make statements inbetween and stuff, maybe tell the girls a little bit about myself. From this, I've gotten numbers and have gotten girls interested in hanging out.
thanks a lot el stud and luckybob... I deff have to think positive and realize I have the balls to at least approach these girls and all I need now is experience. After the approach I deff felt like giving up but with your replies I will keep going with this.
You are overanalysing things WAAAAAY to much.
It's ALL in your head.
You literally have NO IDEA what those girls were thinking.
They might have thought you were hot, but you automatically assumed 'I screwed up that went wrong' and so you felt bad.
Approach anxiety IS NOT BAD. Don't assume it is. Fear is the EXACT SAME emotion as excitement, how we feel about it just depends on the context we give it. Don't worry if you feel 'approach anxiety', just push through it and think of it as excitement. Don't get down on yourself for feeling it, everyone does at some time. You can't expect to not have it if you have never approached anyone.
And the big mistake you made was PUTTING THE GIRLS ON A PEDESTAL. Because they were hot you assume you were 'lower value'. You NEED to stop doing this. Don't worship a girl for her looks, judge her on her personality as well. 'Higher value' guys don't worry about value at all, they just do what they want.
Don't worry man we've all been through stages like that. Good work on actually approaching, that's the first step. You now have some EXPERIANCE, which is your most valuable asset in life. Although to be honest if you are going to keep doing this you need to work on your mindset or you will just end up negative, unmotivated and worse then when you started out. Keep approaching but really work on your inner game as well.
It's ALL in your head.
You literally have NO IDEA what those girls were thinking.
They might have thought you were hot, but you automatically assumed 'I screwed up that went wrong' and so you felt bad.
Approach anxiety IS NOT BAD. Don't assume it is. Fear is the EXACT SAME emotion as excitement, how we feel about it just depends on the context we give it. Don't worry if you feel 'approach anxiety', just push through it and think of it as excitement. Don't get down on yourself for feeling it, everyone does at some time. You can't expect to not have it if you have never approached anyone.
And the big mistake you made was PUTTING THE GIRLS ON A PEDESTAL. Because they were hot you assume you were 'lower value'. You NEED to stop doing this. Don't worship a girl for her looks, judge her on her personality as well. 'Higher value' guys don't worry about value at all, they just do what they want.
Don't worry man we've all been through stages like that. Good work on actually approaching, that's the first step. You now have some EXPERIANCE, which is your most valuable asset in life. Although to be honest if you are going to keep doing this you need to work on your mindset or you will just end up negative, unmotivated and worse then when you started out. Keep approaching but really work on your inner game as well.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Just go up to them,smile and be like "Hey hows it going?are you new here?"
Shell either respond
Yes ... : "Oh really?Ya I was trying to see if I recognized you cause you look familiar.What school did you go to before?"
No...:"Haha I thought so you looked familiar so I think Ive seen you around but I wasnt 100% sure.How old are you?"
^Ive field tested this before so its pretty dead set material.The questions ive put after you can easily use to follow up and switch to a different topic.
For example when you ask about age and she tells you her age,you can then bug her about how you thought she was much older/much younger...blah blah.For some reason girls can relate to the topic of looking younger and older well so the conversation pretty much always runs very easily.
Also bud dont just try the methods cause you read the **** off the internet.Why dont you be genuine in getting to KNOW the girl instead of BSing some stupid method?Your gonna succeed MUCH more that way
Shell either respond
Yes ... : "Oh really?Ya I was trying to see if I recognized you cause you look familiar.What school did you go to before?"
No...:"Haha I thought so you looked familiar so I think Ive seen you around but I wasnt 100% sure.How old are you?"
^Ive field tested this before so its pretty dead set material.The questions ive put after you can easily use to follow up and switch to a different topic.
For example when you ask about age and she tells you her age,you can then bug her about how you thought she was much older/much younger...blah blah.For some reason girls can relate to the topic of looking younger and older well so the conversation pretty much always runs very easily.
Also bud dont just try the methods cause you read the **** off the internet.Why dont you be genuine in getting to KNOW the girl instead of BSing some stupid method?Your gonna succeed MUCH more that way
smoothtalker72
Don Juan
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id think that approaching in high school are a lot easier than approaching elsewhere. you automatically have something in common. just ask about an upcoming school event and what they think about it. dont try to impress them with your conversation focus on getting to know them and having fun.
intrextrovert
Don Juan
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Quit overanalyzing things dude. And tbh the Tim method is more for clubs, but has some good stuff from the little i watched it. If you were approached by a chick with a group of guys in school, even if the chick was having good conversation wouldn't that be a bit out of the ordinary?
Seriously, just do whatever. I know it is harder done than said, but once you do you'll see why we say it. As long as you're OK with what's happening they will be, or will be enough. And don't be surprised if you well, get a surprising response. That stuff happens, it's in the past once it has. I've gotten some bad responses from normal talking, and good from stranger stuff. As long as you're not trying too hard you'll be alright, and if you're in the moment you'll blast off. Plus, bad responses don't last. If a girl acts annoyed at you or cold to you it doesn't mean anything big, they're usually fine the next day. If not ask her why shes acting a *****.
Seriously, just do whatever. I know it is harder done than said, but once you do you'll see why we say it. As long as you're OK with what's happening they will be, or will be enough. And don't be surprised if you well, get a surprising response. That stuff happens, it's in the past once it has. I've gotten some bad responses from normal talking, and good from stranger stuff. As long as you're not trying too hard you'll be alright, and if you're in the moment you'll blast off. Plus, bad responses don't last. If a girl acts annoyed at you or cold to you it doesn't mean anything big, they're usually fine the next day. If not ask her why shes acting a *****.
Some good advice, made me really have to think about it and your right. Although it is always easier said then done, another thing you should always keep in mind when approaching, is to just be calm and remember no pressure.LuckyBob said:You have to allow your natural curiosities of others fuel your ability to come up with social material, and the only way to do that is to not have any emotional baggage. Eliminate that self-defeatist mindset and fight the negativism. Negativism is the unconstructive criticism we encounter through our day to day lives. Only after you eliminate the negativism from your mind are you clear-headed enough to allow yourself to BE yourself. Being yourself is simply having a conversation WITHOUT THINKING of what others think of you. It is being completely unaware of the self-conscious mindset. Instead of focusing on what you look like, how you sound, how you're doing, you allow your mind to be curious about your SURROUNDINGS. The key thing is to be OUT instead of IN. I hope you see the truth in what I'm saying, as it was life-altering advice for myself.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.